Improving our Descriptive Writing!

1. Improving our Descriptive Writing!

2. Remember that your ‘Who I Am’ paper is a descriptive paper meaning that I want to see description in the writing! “I am unique because I am from Iraq. Iraq is warm and a nice place to live. There are many people there.” What’s wrong with this sentence? How can we improve it? Work with your partner and improve the sentence!

3. What we need to look to improve! • Remember descriptive writing entails: • Using sensory detail: smells, sights, sounds, touch, and taste • Figurative Language: Similes, metaphors, onomatopoeia, personification • Use evocative detail! Be specific to the minute detail when you describe something! Be as specific as possible! • I.e. The small button, had curvatures that resembled tubes at a water park, with indentations that made cracks in the black polished crevice surrounding threads of fine silken linen.

4. Look for moments in your descriptive paper that can be useful in making your paper more descriptive, i.e.: • Food • A trip • Cultural Artifact • Family Members • Flag • Objects • Etc.

5. Example Paragraph • One thing that you should know about me is that I like to eat food! I really love Indian food because of all the spices they use. Indian food is spicy, but that is ok because I like the way it feels when I eat it. However, my mom becomes bothered by the food when she eats it, this is because she cannot eat spicy food too well. How can we fix this paragraph to be more detailed?

6. Fixed up that paragraph! • One thing that you should know about me is that I like to eat food! I really love Indian food because of all the spices they use. Indian food is spicy, but that is ok because I like the way it feels when I eat it. However, my mom becomes bothered by the food when she eats it, this is because she cannot eat spicy food too well. One interesting fact about myself you should know is that I love to eat food! Specifically, Indian food is my favorite because of the different spices used. Infused with the bold smell of turmeric, the slight hint of cinnamon, and smells of yellow Bali rice, mixed with the sweetness of raisins and fruit, there is no other meal I would rather eat. However, my mom is a different story; because once she has a taste of the heavy, yoghurt and red chili curry that I love so much, she convulses with beads of sweat and pain slowly rolling down her forehead. A true testament to the term ‘Indian spicy’.