Think Before You Send

1. Think Before You Send What Teens Are Really Doing with Social Networking Sarah Hund-Brown Community Educator Rape Crisis Intervention Service of Carroll County

2. 1954 “Let’s Face It: Our Teenagers Are Out of Control”

3. “The Teenagers: A Survey of What They’re Really Like” 1966

4. “The Secret Life of Teens” 1999

5. “Why Teens Do Stupid Things” 2006

6. Welcome to Generation Y • Born between 1982 and 2002 • Referred to as Generation Y, Gen Y, Eco Boomers, Net Generation and Millennials • At 81 million strong, Gen Yers represent the largest population segment in the United States since the Baby Boomer. • In consumer spending, Gen Yers have already established expenditures of $200+ billion • Generation Y currently range in age from seven to 27 years and are often divided into three distinct age groups (adults 18-27, teens 13-17 and tweens 7- 12) when studied or targeted by business. Source :http://www.generationy.com/

7. The “Technology Everywhere” Generation • 83% use IM versus 32% of online adults • More than 3 out of 4 young consumers own a mobile phone • 25% said they plan to purchase an MP3 player in the next 12 months • They spend almost 11 hours per week online, while nearly 1 in 5 of the youngest of this group (ages 12-17) spend 20 hours or more per week online • 88% of boys ages 12-17 own a game console, compared with 63% of girls the same age. 55% of boys would rather play games than watch TV Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goldstein

8. A Day in the Life of Judy Jetson: Modern Teen Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goldstein

9. What exactly is Social Networking? Social Networking is a social structure made of individuals (or organizations) which are tied (connected) by one or more specific types of interdependency, such as friendship, kinship, common interest, financial exchange, dislike, sexual relationships, or relationships of beliefs, knowledge or prestige.

10. Why do teens use social networking • To Connect: Social networks are a great way to make friends with similar interests. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/02/13/what-are-kids-doing-on-facebook-myspace-and-other-social-networking-sites/

11. 2.) To be Social: Facebook has a ‘news feed’ where you can get instant updates on what all of your friends are doing…talk about being a Queen Bee! Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/02/13/what-are-kids-doing-on-facebook-myspace-and-other-social-networking-sites/

12. 3.) Social Planning: It is incredibly easy to plan parties and events on these sites, and many people will plan, invite, and even send thank you notes all on these sites. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/02/13/what-are-kids-doing-on-facebook-myspace-and-other-social-networking-sites/

13. 4.)To Stay Plugged-In: This is also a way teens can keep up on the updates for their interests. If you join a group on Facebook about environmental issues, you can get short updates every day on any news from across the web that your friends’ post. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/02/13/what-are-kids-doing-on-facebook-myspace-and-other-social-networking-sites/

14. 5.)To Share: You can tell other’s about your recent news, share pictures videos andaccomplishments in your own life. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/02/13/what-are-kids-doing-on-facebook-myspace-and-other-social-networking-sites/

15. 6.)Expression: It is a way to broadcast feelings, emotion, points of views or opinions. Many teens use MySpace and social networking sites to journal or just to rant and get their feelings out the same way someone might write in a diary or talk to a friend. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/02/13/what-are-kids-doing-on-facebook-myspace-and-other-social-networking-sites/

16. 7.)Entertainment: Its fun to watch your friend’s videos or pictures…it sort of feels like snooping, but they are letting you! Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/02/13/what-are-kids-doing-on-facebook-myspace-and-other-social-networking-sites/

17. Searching for Identity

18. Cotton Candy Friends: 6 Ways Net-Gen Connections are Changing The teen (and 20 something) social interaction right now is like cotton candy, its fun and tasty for a little while, but after two hours you are hungry for real food, real connection. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/24/cotton-candy-friends-6-ways-net-gen-connections-are-changing/

19. Possessive:“When you get cotton candy, you want it all to yourself…or you better get your share” • Excessive cattiness and possessiveness • “Why did you post on Sam’s wall? And not on mine?”  • Easier to keep tabs on each other and be possessive of friends. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/24/cotton-candy-friends-6-ways-net-gen-connections-are-changing/

20. Useless:“Cotton Candy has no nutritional value” • Many of the social applications, widgets, profile boxes and wall posts are somewhat fun, but mostly a waste of time. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/24/cotton-candy-friends-6-ways-net-gen-connections-are-changing/

21. Numbing: • “Have you ever noticed, after a few bites cotton candy doesn’t taste so good, but you finish it anyway?” • - Mindlessly checking Facebook all the time. • Feeling the need to HAVE TO STAY IN THE LOOP, not because you are actually interested.  • There is even more pressure now to stay connected…literally. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/24/cotton-candy-friends-6-ways-net-gen-connections-are-changing/

22. Superficial: “The second you put cotton candy in your mouth it dissolves, there really isn’t even anything to swallow.” • Getting 87 updates per day from your ‘closest friends’ does not mean you are really getting to know them.  • You might know a thousand hobbies, interests, favorite movies, which soccer mom you would be but you cannot learn how they feel about their family, their self-esteem or what their friend’s values are.  • This generation is truly lacking deep connection with our friends and sometimes even our significant others. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/24/cotton-candy-friends-6-ways-net-gen-connections-are-changing/

23. Misleading: • “I always think cotton candy will fill me up or tide me • over until dinner, I am always hungry right afterwards.” • You really think you are in touch with your friends.  • It is easy to fall into the trap of “I know what they are doing and what they like, so I have connected with them”. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/24/cotton-candy-friends-6-ways-net-gen-connections-are-changing/

24. Breakable: “Have you tried to eat cotton candy in the wind? No, right? That’s because cotton candy can’t exist in wind.” • Constantly afraid that a wrong comment, misguided poke or unintentional post might offend or alienate us from our Facebook groups or friends.  • Because the relationships are entirely based upon likes and dislikes and status updates, they can be easily broken by an awkward real life interaction or infrequent posting.  • This can be stressful and anxiety provoking. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/07/24/cotton-candy-friends-6-ways-net-gen-connections-are-changing/

25. “Friends with Benefits”The Teen Hook-Up Culture • 14% of teens have had face-to-face meetings with people online • 1/3 of teens said they’ve considered meeting someone they met on the internet. • Most teens who meet each other online and end up dating or hooking up offline have friends in common or have met offline before. Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goodstein

26. Fake Intimacy Teens with good home lives and good intimacy with friends who use hooking up as a way to release sexual energy Teens who use the internet for the validation they are not receiving at home. They get their love by going online, showing a picture of themselves and being admired. Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goodstein

27. Sexual Predators OnlineMyth v. Reality • A small percentage of teens are actually approached with any sexual intent online • The media does an EXCELLENT job of sensationalizing online predators • Most teens don’t want to talk to adults online • Once they figure out the person is a “creeper” they’re over it and block them or don’t answer back • Most dangerous activity for a teen is being an “internet daredevil”

28. Teens as Content Creators • According to a 2005 report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project, “fully half of all teens and 57% of teens who use the Internet could be considered Content Creators.” • This means they have “ created a blog or webpage, posted original artwork, photography, stories or videos online or remixed online content into their own new creations.” Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goldstein

29. What the heck is a Blog? At the beginning of 2005, the Pew Internet & American Life Project discovered that 62% of Internet users who had heard of blogs didn’t know what a blog actually was. Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goldstein

30. What the heck is a Blog? A Blog is a Web application that contains periodic time stamped posts (or written entries) on a common Web page. These posts are often but not necessarily in reverse chronological order, meaning that the most recent postings appear first. Such a website is typically accessible to any internet user. In other words, most of these applications are easy to use and don’t require knowledge of HTML formatting code. Because of the reverse chronology used on many blogs, and the ability to archive entries by date or subject, blogs are often called Web diaries or journals. Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goldstein

31. The Darker Side of Blogs

32. The instrument of my resurrection was supposed to be freedom. But there isn’t an open sky or endless field to be found where I reside, nor is there light or salvation to be discovered. Right about now I feel as low as I ever have. I don’t think it’s a big secret why, really. My biggest disappointment and downfall came from what was supposed to be the one thing to lift me from the grave I’m continually digging myself. Nah, never. Only the worthy are saved, y’know. I don’t know, but what I do know is I’m a retarded **** for ever believing things would change for me. I’m starting to regret sticking around, I should’ve taken the razor blade express last time around. Well, whatever, man. Maybe they’ve got another shuttle comin’ around sometime soon? Ciao [Current Mood/ drained] [Current Music/ “Strawberry Fields Forever”—John Lennon] Source: Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens are Really Doing Online by Anastasia Goldstein

33. Online outreach for teens and young adults Dare to put your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand in to the light. -Norman B. Rice

34. To Write Love on Her Arms MISSION STATEMENT: To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.  TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. • Blog • Popular bands involved (Bamboozle and Warped Tour) • TWLOHA UChapters Through organized meetings and events, each chapter will serve as a voice of hope, inspiration, and support for students and their surrounding communities. • Uses social media to bring awareness (twitter, facebook, blogs) • Street Team

35. Post Secret

36. Are you feeling overwhelmed yet?

37. Then so is your teen…

38. Radical Parenting.comParenting from the kids perspective • A company run by youth. • The only parenting blog and company from the kid’s perspective. • Brings a new perspective to parents on how digital youth are really growing up, but also by giving teens a voice. • Uses their experiences to help parents truly understand and learn how to inspire their kids. • They mentor, not lecture, teens and tweens on their level. Inspire them, give them the right tools so they can be happier and healthier adults. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/about-radical-parenting/

39. Parentology • There are no ‘perfect parents’, formulas, easy answers or a ‘right’ way to parent. There is a right way for your family. We want to help you find your way. • 2) Live the You-Them-You Perspective. We promise to share our side, our stories and our secrets, to give you a glimpse into our world. • 3) Constantly challenge what we think we know. ‘Radical’ means to question the status quo and what isn’t working. This is how we grow as a family and as human beings. Source: http://www.radicalparenting.com/about-radical-parenting/

40. Building Trust with Teens Be Authentic Be Unique Be Yourself

41. Questions to ask your teen about social media • What kinds of social media are you busing and how? • How do you screen friend requests on Facebook or MySpace? • What do you enjoy about social media that you’re using? • What kind of information do you put on your profiles that you want other people to know about you?

42. Tips for Parents • Get to know their "online friends" just as you get to know all of their other friends. • If they insist on meeting their online friend in real life, consider going with them. When they think they have found their soul mate, it is unlikely that your telling them “no” will make a difference. Offering to go with them keeps them safe. • Learn enough about computers so you can enjoy them together with your kids.

43. Remember what you did when you were fifteen that your parents would have killed you for if they’d known.