Effective Parenting Skills

1. Effective Parenting Skills

2. What is Parenting? • Parenting is a process – the process of caring for children and helping them grow and learn. • An important aspect of developing parenting skills is learning to nurture children. A parent or caregiver nurtures a child by proving encouragement and enriching experiences. Nurturing also involves showing love, support, concern, and understanding.

3. Parenting Styles

4. Select the following parenting style according to the description given. • The choices are: Authoritarian, Permissive, Democratic

5. A parent that expects unquestioning obedience. Authoritarian

6. A parent that is more concerned with being their child’s friend than parent. Permissive

7. The parent’s word is law; parents have absolute control. Authoritarian

8. Parents set limits and enforce family rules. Democratic

9. Listens to concerns and requests of children. Gives reasons for decisions and home rules. Democratic

10. Non-controlling, non-demanding; children walk all over the parents. Permissive

11. When Children are Deprived • Unfortunately, some children grow up with parents who have not learned parenting skills and who do not encourage learning. By the time they are four years old, these children are measurably behind others in development. • Deprivation – the lack of healthy, nurturing environment. • Do not confuse deprivation with poverty. Deprived children can come from wealthy families as well.

12. Providing Love and Support • In many ways, nurturing is the same as loving. Love is the sum of the caring and positive things we do for the benefit of others. • Love can be shown in many different ways. Hugs, kisses, and smiles are clear indicators of a parent’s love. Listening patiently and attentively, giving time and attention are also examples.

13. Overparenting • Overprotective and over attentive – showing the child with too much attention, too many toys, and too many treats. These parents make excuses for the child’s inappropriate behavior and try to shield the child from difficult experiences. • An overprotective parent forgets that children learn from trial and error and that mistakes are an essential part of the growth process. • These children then lack independence because parents have always made choices for them.

14. Communicating Positively • Children are most responsive when you speak in kind, respectful tones and use simple language. • Get on the child’s level, sit or kneel so that you are eye-to-eye. • Be simple. Use words the child can understand. • Be clear. Think in terms of the child’s point of view. • Be positive and polite • Give praise and love.

15. Question Set #1 • What are the 3 types of parenting styles? Describe them. • How does a parent or other caregiver nurture a child? • What is deprivation? • What is overparenting? What negative affects can overparenting have on children? • List five guidelines to follow when communicating with young children?

16. Guiding Children’s Behavior • Discipline – the task of helping children learn to behave in acceptable ways. • Discipline does not mean making children behave. Children can not be forced to act according to adult standards. However, when caregivers combine firmness with understanding, children can learn to control their actions. • Gradually, children begin to understand why certain actions are right or wrong. They develop and conscience – an inner sense of what is right. • The ultimate goal of discipline is to help children achieve self-discipline – the ability to control one’s own behavior.

17. Encouraging Appropriate Behavior • Set a good example • Children are great imitators. They learn best by being shown what to do rather than by just being told. • Tell what is expected • They need to be told what is expected of them in ways they can understand. • Praise appropriate behavior • It helps children feel good about themselves. Praise is an example of positive reinforcement – a response that encourages a particular behavior.

18. Setting Limits • Limits should keep children from hurting themselves, other people, or property. • Keep these questions in mind when setting limits: • Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore, and grow? • Is the limit fair and appropriate for the child’s age? • Does the limit benefit the child, or is it merely for adults’ convenience? • Be prepared to repeat the limits or rules several times. • Limits should be presented to the child in a calm, direct tone of voice that indicates the limit is real and to be respected. • When introducing a limit, it is best to follow these steps: • Be understanding of the child’s desires. • Set the limit and explain it. • Acknowledge the child’s feelings. • Give alternatives.

19. Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior • Questions a caregiver should ask when responding to a child’s misbehavior: • Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong? • Was the behavior intentional, or was it simply beyond the child’s control? • Punishment is negative reinforcement – a response that tends to discourage a particular behavior from being repeated. • Techniques for dealing with inappropriate behavior: • Natural consequences • Loss of privileges • Ignoring • Time-out

20. Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior • Issues Concerning Discipline • Spanking – mixed views • 1st, caregivers should never use spanking as a way to vent anger or frustration. • 2nd, there are many effective, positive guidance techniques that can be used as alternatives to spanking. • Poor Disciplinary Measures • Bribing • Making children promise to behave • Shouting or yelling • Shaming or belittling • Ex. “If this keeps up, you’ll never amount to anything.” • Threatening to withhold love

21. Consistency • Children lose trust and confidence in a parent or caregiver who constantly changes limits or fails to enforce limits in a consistent manner. • If a parent or caregiver laughs at a child’s behavior one day and punishes the same behavior the next day, the child will feel confused and insecure.

22. Question Set # 2 • What is discipline? • List three keys to effective discipline. • List four guidelines for praising a child’s good behavior. • List three questions parents should ask themselves as they choose specific limits for children. • Do you think it is possible to raise a child without using any form of punishment? Why or why not?

23. Providing Substitute Care • With many single parent families and more parents working, there are higher needs for substitute care. • Home-Based Care • There are three main types of home-based care: • Care in the child’s own home. • Nanny – a specially trained person employed to provide live-in child care services. • Family child care • A child arrangement in which a small number of children are cared for in the caregivers’ home. • Play groups • A child care arrangement in which a group of parents take turns caring for each other’s children in their own homes.

24. Providing Substitute Care • Center-Based Care • Child care centers • A facility designed primarily to provide care for children of working parents. • Preschools • A child care center that provides educational programs, usually for children aged 3 to 5. • Parent cooperatives • A child care facility in which part of the supervision is provided by the parents of enrolled children, who take turns donating their services. • Head start centers • In the 1960’s, the federal government began Head Start – a program of locally operated child care facilities designed to help lover-income and disadvantaged children function effectively at home, in school, and in the community. • Montessori preschools • An educational facility for 3 to 6 year olds that provides special learning materials which children are free to explore on their own.

25. Effects of Substitute Care • Many specialists advice that a parent should stay home to provide child care as long as possible. But that is not possible for many parents. • Fortunately, long-term studies find that GOOD substitute care has no adverse effect on children’s intellectual and emotional development.

26. Question Set # 3 • What is a nanny? • How is family child care different from a play group? How are they similar? • List one advantage and one disadvantage of a parent cooperative? • When was Head Start created and why? • What type of learning does a Montessori School provide?