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“…Life is like a river, and most people jump on the river of life without ever really deciding where they want to end up. So, in a short period of time, they get caught up in the current: current events, current fears, current challenges. When they come to forks in the river, they don't consciously decide where they want to go, or which direction is right for them. They merely "go with the flow." They become a part of the mass of people who are directed by the environment instead of by their own values. As a result, they feel out of control. They remain in this unconscious state until one day the sound of the raging water awakens them and they discover that they are 5 feet from Niagara Falls in a boat with no oars. At this point, all they can say is, "oh, shoot!" But by then it's too late. They are going to take a fall. Sometimes it's an emotional fall. Sometimes it's a physical fall. Sometimes it's a financial fall. It is likely that whatever challenges you have in your life currently could have been avoided by some better decisions upstream.” (Robbins, 41-42).
Live Your Dreams Link www.values.com VALUES Which ones are helping you to live your dreams?
Unfinished sentences • Blank “Activity paper” is needed for today • On Saturday’s I like to…. • If I had 24 hours to live, I’d…. • If I had my own car and all the gas I needed, I’d… • If I had a million dollars….. • I would risk my life for…. • If I could choose to be an animal, I would be…Why?
1. Values are anything in life that is important to us.- Ideas and qualities that we feel strongly about. The greatest Link
What is the purpose of this? The concert link
2. Values are the basis for guiding our decision-making. • They provide direction, consistency, and meaning to our decision. • They are the criteria and motivation to judge our behavior and actions. • They get our attention! • Your most important values are in the center of your personal “steering wheel” • Values help us to identify our wants and our needs.
So, what is my life centered on? • Forced Choice Assessment on your activity paper. • Begin in the middle of the front page (#6 and 12) • Choose the answer that first comes to mind without spending time thinking about it. • Yes, do the back side evaluation, too.
3. Who / what influences your value’s? a. Ages 1-7: (imprinting) Parents have the greatest influence on the development of a child’s values. b. Ages 8-13: (modeling) Teachers, heroes, media, and sports c. Ages 14-20: (socializing) Peers influence values. • Adolescence is a time when there is often a questioning of parental values. d. Ages 21+: 90% of values are set unless something significant or drastic happens. It’s Okay Kid…. (8)
4. So, when are our values discovered? Our values are revealed and discovered through our personal Choices, decisions, and experiences.
5. When behaviors are in opposition with values, internal conflict arises. Alphabet soup
Value Cycle Choice Act against your values Act within your values Have a clear conscience Be self-confident Have peace of mind Gain trust Build self-esteem Feel guilty Be ashamed Have legal problems Lose trust Lost self-esteem Results in: Unhappiness or lowering of values to justify the actions Results in: Happiness and contentment for keeping values in tact.
What do they Value? • Pete told his friend Brett about a problem he was having. Dan wanted to know what Pete had told Brett, but Brett decided to keep Pete’s problem private. • Alex decided to go home soon after he arrived at his friend’s party because they were making plans to prank several of the neighbors and then vandalize a local park. • Whenever they go to a fast-food restaurant, Jackie’s friends have hamburgers, fries, and soft drinks. Jackie usually chooses yogurt and a tossed salad. Knowing what our values are and then learning to live by them is one of the most powerful ways to gain inner peace and decrease stress levels.
What if your values go against your friend’s, parent’s or family values? 6. Disagreements over values can create conflict among family members and friends. • 7. People can maintain their own values and still show respectfor the values of others. (ie: parents and friends)
8. Values should be consistent with your actions. You will never be disappointed with yourself if you follow your values.
Assignment #5 and 6 • #5 = Value scenarios in your study guide. • #6 = (STATE ASSIGNMENT) Value letter • You are dying and leaving behind young children that you will never be able to influence and teach. • Explain 4-5 of your top values in letter form to your children. • Underline your values within the letter. • Remember to complete Reflection #3
Story about Ben Franklin • Ben Franklin listed 13 values that he felt was the most important to live by. He called them The 13 Virtues. • http://www.fisherhouse.com/books/franklin.html
To Know Your Values • It is something that is important to you? • Does it make you feel good about this begin important to you? • Does it make you feel good when you act or behave on this value? • Does it make you feel good to know that other people show you respect because they know it is important to you? • Have you ever acted or behaved in line with this value? How did it make you feel? • Is it something you feel strong enough about to do it when all the other people are doing something else? • Is it in line with your idea of who you are and who you wish to became?
