The Art Of Listening

1. The Art of Listening

2. I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. — Charles C. Finn

3. What is listening? Listening a neglected art? - Facts How important is listening? - Quotes What stops us from listening? Active listening Why listening is important? Listening vs life

4. The speaker is presenting his talk from Constructivist perspective and his own position and values influence his choice of material and the way he present it. It is neither possible nor desirable to be value-free in such an important area of human endeavor as education. However, it is up to you, the listener, to engage with the ideas presented from your own values and perspectives.

5. One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad.“ "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

6. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

7. What is Listening? Definition • listening (ILA, 1996): the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention • Effective communication is 2-way • depends on speaking and listening

8. Listening - a neglected art • We spend between 50 and 80 percent of our waking life communicating • On average, half of that communication time is spent in listening. • Despite all this, listening is the “poor relation” in communication training. • Lets see some facts

9. FACTS

10. Facts about Listening • Listening is our primary communication activity. • Our listening habits are not the result of training but rater the result of the lack of it. • Most individuals are inefficient listeners • Inefficient and ineffective listening is extraordinarily costly • Good listening can be taught

11. Facts about Listeningcontinued • Listening: Learned first, Used most (45%), Taught least. • Speaking: Learned second, Used next most (30%), Taught next least. • Reading: Learned third, Used next least (16%), Taught next most • Writing: Learned fourth, Used Least (9%), Taught most.

12. As seen in table below, listening is learned first and used most, but taught least.

13. LISTENING AND MEANING In a spoken message, 55% of the meaning is translated non-verbally, 38% is indicated by the tone of voice, while only 7% is conveyed by the words used (Mehrabian, 1981).

14. Spoken words only account for 30 -35% of the meaning. The rest is transmitted through nonverbal communication that only can be detected through visual and auditory listening (Birdwhistell, 1970).

15. LISTENING AND SPEECH RATES The average person talks at a rate of about 125 – 175 words per minute, while we can listen at a rate of up to 450 words per minute (Carver, Johnson, & Friedman, 1970).

16. LISTENING AND MEMORY On average, viewers who just watched and listened to the evening news could only recall 17.2% of the content when not cued, and the cued group never exceeded 25% (Stauffer, Frost, & Rybolt, 1983).

17. LISTENING AND LEADERS Listening is tied to effective leadership (Bechler & Johnson, 1995; Johnson & Bechler, 1998). Leaders listen with an open mind by not becoming emotional or defensive (Orick, 2002).

18. LISTENING AND EDUCATION Students do not have a clear concept of listening as an active process that they can control. Students find it easier to criticize the speaker as opposed to the speaker’s message (Imhof, 1998).

19. LISTENING AND HEALTHCARE Physicians interrupt 69% of patient interviews within 18 seconds of the patient beginning to speak. As a result, in 77% of the interviews, the patient’s true reason for visiting was never elicited (Lee, 2000).

20. How Important is listening?

21. Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment …a way of saying, “You are important.”

22. Listening builds stronger relationships…creates a desire to cooperate among people because they feel accepted and acknowledged.

23. Listening creates acceptance and openness…conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”

24. Listening leads to learning…openness encourages personal growth and learning

25. Listening reduces stress and tension…minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension

26. Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution …much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence.

27. Quotes

28. "When you've learned how to Listen, well that's when you've learned everything you need to know in your life!" -- Glynn David HarrisListener of the Year International Listening Association's 1999

29. The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. — Ralph Nichols

30. "Listening looks easy, but it's not simple. Every head is a world.“ -- Cuban Proverb

31. “When you listen to somebody else, whether you like it or not, what they say becomes part of you.” -- David Bohm

32. If in all our practices of life we could learn to listen . . . . if we could grasp what the other persons are saying as they them-selves understand what they are saying, the major hostilities of life would disappear for the simplest reason that misunderstanding would disappear. — Harry Overstreet

33. Listening means an awareness, an openness to learning something new about another person. Interrupting, even for clarification, can seem to be rude, but listening with the intent to learn is an approach to a different type of conversation. — Elizabeth Debold

34. Listening promotes being heard …”Seek first to understand, then be understood.” - Stephen Covey

35. I think I'll learn more from listening. Anything I would say I already know. — Anonymous student explaining while she did not wish to participate in a discussion, quoted in Christian Science Monitor

36. Effective listeners remember that "words have no meaning - people have meaning." The assignment of meaning to a term is an internal process; meaning comes from inside us. And although our experiences, knowledge and attitudes differ, we often misinterpret each other’s messages while under the illusion that a common understanding has been achieved. — Larry Barker

37. What stops us from listening? Barriers to listening? Bad/poor listening habits? What interferes with listening?

38. Equate With Hearing Uninteresting Topics Speaker’s Delivery External Distractions Mentally Preparing Response Finishing the speaker’s sentences. letting your ego get in the way. Listening for Facts Personal Concerns Personal Bias Language/Culture Differences Faking Attention Getting tuned out Barriers to Listening

39. Bad Listening Habits • Criticizing the subject or the speaker • Getting over-stimulated • Listening only for facts • Not taking notes OR outlining everything • Tolerating or creating distraction • Letting emotional words block message • Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

40. Bad Listening Habits • Pretending to pay attention when you are not • Trying to do other things while listening • Deciding the subject is uninteresting • Getting distracted by the speaker’s way of speech, or other mannerisms • Getting over-involved and thus losing the main thread of the arguments or thoughts • Letting emotion-filled words arouse personal anger and antagonism • Concentrating on any distractions instead of what is being said • Avoiding anything that is complex or difficult Of which bad listening habits are you guilty of? Make a note of where your weaknesses lie, and where you can do most to improve your listening skills.

41. So Far: • We covered the facts of listening • Importance of listening from different perspective through quotes of great people and proverbs • You also know the barriers and bad habits. • Having known importance, barriers and bad habits of listening, what are the solutions for all these issues? Be a good listener? How ? • By being active listener/developing effective listening skills

42. Active Listening • Listening is not a passive activity • It is not the ‘unexciting’ or ‘unflamboyant’ part of the conversation • Listening well is the vital ingredient in a successful, productive and interesting conversation

43. RECEIVING SKILLS Listening  is composed of six distinct components • Hearing: The physiological process of receiving sound and/or otherstimuli. • Attending:  The conscious and unconscious process of focusing attention on external stimuli. • Interpreting:  The process of decoding the symbols or behavior attended to. • Evaluating:  The process of deciding the value of the information tothe receiver. • Remembering:  The process of placing the appropriate information into to short-term or long-term storage. • Responding:  The process of giving feedback to the source and/or other receivers.

44. Relational Receiving Skills • Non-Listening:  A style that is appropriate when the receiver has no need for the content and has minimal relationship with the sender. • Pseudo listening:  A way of "faking it" where the receiver feels obligated to listen even though they are preoccupied unable or unwilling to at that particular time. • Defensive Listening:  A style of listening used in situations where the receiver feels that he might be taken advantage of if he does not protect himself  by listening for information directly relevant to him. • Appreciative Listening:  A style that is appropriate in a recreational setting where the listener is participating as a way of passing time or being entertained. • Listening with Empathy:  A style that teaches an individual to enter fully into the world of the other and truly comprehend their thoughts and feelings. • Therapeutic Cathartic Listening:  A listening style used by psychological counselors to help people who are having problems dealing with  life situations. • Therapeutic Diagnostic Listening:  A listening style that is used to assess the needs of the sender.

45. Content Receiving Skills • Insensitive Listening or Offensive listening: A style where the listeners main intent is to select information  that can later he used against the speaker. • Insulated Listening:  A style where the listener avoids responsibility by failing to acknowledge that they have heard the information presented by the speaker. • Selective Listening:  A style where the listener only responds to the parts of the message that directly interests him. • Bottom Line Listening:  A style of listening where the receiver is only concerned about the facts.  "Just the facts man." • Court Reporter Syndrome:  A style of taking in a speakers  message and recording it verbatim. • Informational Listening:  A style that is used when the listener is seeking out specific information. • Evaluative Listening:  A style used to listen to information upon which a decision has to be made. • Critical Incidence Listening:  A style used when the consequence of not listening may have dramatic effects. • Intimate Listening:  The style that is appropriate when the speaker is communicating significant relational information being completely and wholly honest.

46. Ten keys to effective listening • Find areas of interest.The Poor Listener: Tunes out dry topics.The Good Listener: Seizes opportunities: "What's in it for me?" • Judge content, not delivery.The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor.The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over delivery errors. • Hold your fire.The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument.The Good Listener: Doesn't judge until comprehension is complete. • Listen for ideas.The Poor Listener: Listens for facts.The Good Listener: Listens for central theme. • Be a flexible note taker.The Poor Listener: Is busy with form, misses content.The Good Listener: Adjusts to topic and organizational pattern.

47. Ten keys to effective listeningcontinued • Work at listening.The Poor Listener: Shows no energy output, fakes attentionThe Good Listener: Works hard; exhibits alertness. • Resist distractions.The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily.The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions; tolerates bad habits in others; knows how to concentrate. • Exercise your mind.The Poor Listener: Resists difficult material; seeks light, recreational material.The Good Listener: Uses heavier material as exercise for the mind. • Keep your mind open.The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words.The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words; does not get hung up on them. • Thought is faster than speech; use it.The Poor Listener: Tends to daydream with slow speakers.The Good Listener: Challenges, anticipates, mentally summarizes, weights the evidence, listens between the lines to tone and voice.

48. The best, easiest and most effective way of showing interest is: • To listen to what they are saying • Really listen, • Focusing on what they are saying, • As opposed to planning our own reposts and anecdotes

49. We are blessed with two ears and one mouth - a constant reminder that we should listen at least twice as much as we talk.Unknown Author

50. Why Be A Good Listener? • To be recognized and remembered • To feel valued • To feel appreciated • To feel respected • To feel understood • To feel comfortable about a want or need