Five-star Etiquette for Five-star Dining

1. Five-star EtiquetteforFive-star Dining A Workshop on Formal Dining Protocol

2. President Coolidge & Table Manners President Coolidge invited some Vermont Friends to dine at the White House. They were worried about their table manners and decided to do everything President Coolidge did. The meal passed smoothly until coffee was served. Coolidge poured his coffee into a saucer. The guests did likewise. Then, Coolidge leaned over . . . and gave it to his cat!!

3. Workshop Objectives I After completing this workshop, you will be able to: • Label each item in a formal place setting. • Identify relationships between silverware, tableware, and possible menu selections. • Categorize menu items into the five main courses.

4. Workshop Objectives I After completing this workshop, you will be able to: • Explain proper responses to typical dining dilemmas. • Demonstrate proper usage of every element of a formal place setting during a mock meal. • Demonstrate proper dining behaviors during the course of the meal.

5. “Good Manners …… “…have much to do with the emotions. To make them ring true, one must feel them, not merely exhibit them.” -Amy Vanderbilt The Columbia World of Quotations, 1996,from Vanderbilt’s New Complete Book of Etiquette, 1963.

6. Table Rules • Diners should wait to be seated until directed to do so by their host or by their waiter if in a restaurant. • Ladies should follow the waiter first with men following. • It is proper for a gentleman to seat the lady on his right and, if applicable, the lady on his left. (Many times the head waiter in a restaurant will assume this role.

7. Place Setting for aFormal Dinner I 1) Napkin 2) Fish Fork 3) Dinner Fork 4) Salad Fork 5) Soup Bowl and Plate 6) Dinner Plate 7) Dinner Knife 8) Fish Knife 9) Soup Spoon

8. Place Setting for aFormal Dinner II 10) Bread and Butter Plate 11) Butter Knife 12) Dessert Spoon and Cake Fork 13) Sterling Water Goblet 14) Red Wine Goblet 15) White Wine Goblet

9. Ordering Your Meal • Never order an expensive entrée unless you are encouraged to do so by your host. • Likewise, ordering the cheapest item on the menu is not recommended either. • Consider any dining difficulties a particular food might present.

10. Knife Know-how • Want to look sharp? Hone your dining techniques by learning the correct method for cutting meat. • American style requires the diner to place the knife in the right hand and fork in the left hand. Hold the knife loosely in the palm of your hand with the three outside fingers gently cradling it. Extend and place your index finger along the top edge of the blade to provide stability and strength. The thumb should wrap below the knife and slightly encircle the three outside fingers.

11. Knife Know-how and Knowledge • When cutting meat, proper etiquette protocol requires the diner to cut one small bite at a time. • American style: Place knife on upper right edge of dinner plate with the blade facing inward and move the dinner fork to the right hand. Eat the piece of meat. Repeat this process for each individual bite.

12. If you see a small fork on the far left of your plate, fish (likely shrimp cocktail) will be the first course. If you see a spoon on the far right of your plate, soup will be the first course. If you see a medium-sized fork on the far left of your plate, salad will be the first course. If you see a medium-sized fork on the far left of your plate, salad will be the first course. Course One: Appetizer

13. Appropriate Dinner Activities • Conversation is the only appropriate activity when dining with others. • Reading a newspaper, talking on your cell phone, or otherwise diverting your attention from your dining partner is the epitome of poor manners.

14. Serving Up Some Advice • In the words of your mother, “Don’t talk with food in your mouth.” • Keep your mouth closed while chewing food. • Never sip a beverage while food is still in your mouth.

15. Your entrée looks so delicious, you hardly can wait to delve in. Upon taking the first bite, you realize the food is scalding hot (or is spoiled)!! What should you do? You begin to choke on a piece of meat or you swallow the “wrong way.” A quick sip of water does not solve the problem. What should be your next course of action? Dining Dilemmas I Emily Post’s Etiquette p. 118, copyright 1984

16. You begin to take your first bite of a menu item and notice foreign matter in your food, i.e. a hair in your salad or a fly in your soup. How should you handle this situation? After finishing your meal, you realize a piece of food is stuck in your teeth. The particle of food is causing much discomfort. You must do something, but what??? Dining Dilemmas II Emily Post’s Etiquette p. 119, copyright 1984

17. The inevitable has finally happened!! You accidentally dropped some hollandaise sauce on the dining table. You know it needs to be removed, but how? It is allergy season and sneezing attacks hit you from time to time. Your spring formal is tonight and you are afraid that you will sneeze your dinner roll right off the table. How do you plan to handle this situation? Dining Dilemmas III

18. Formal Dining I:DOs and DON’Ts * Thank the waiter each time you are served. * Blow on your soup to make it cool quickly. * Use your cell phone to keep in touch with friends. * Tear your bread before you butter it. * Leave the table with a quiet, “Excuse me.” * Discuss your food preferences.

19. Formal Dining II:DOs and DON’Ts * When dining with a large group, begin eating after three or four people are served. * Take liquid in your mouth with food to wash it down. * Push your plate away when you finish eating. * Sit up straight in your chair. * Use the proper utensils with each course. * Place a piece of silverware directly on the table

20. Etiquette: You have: . . . . . . . • Learned it • Practiced it • Experienced it. • One last thought: • My father, Ben Oswald, always told me when I was young, “Manners will carry you where shoes won’t.” He was right!!! 

21. How will this workshop affect you in the future? • A quick examination of current resources on etiquette reveals a re-emergence of society’s focus on etiquette. • Statements from employers interviewing a prospective employee over lunch or dinner confirms the importance of proper etiquette. An employee who is very capable of fulfilling a position, but who has no “polish” may be overlooked when an offer is made although he may have superior qualifications. • The ability to present oneself well to society is and always will be very important!!

22. DARE to . . . . . . .

23. Resources • Georgia Southern University • http://www2.gasou.edu/sta/career/diningetiquette.PDF • Manners International • http://www.ryangrpinc.com/etiquette_tips_table.asp?offset=0 • Hollywood Squares MS PowerPoint Template by Mark E. Damon, 2000, markedamon@hotmail.com • Downloaded from the Blaine County School District web site, Hailey, ID, http://www.bcsd.k12.id.us/district/downloads.html • Microsoft Design Gallery Live, http://dgl.microsoft.com • Professional Dining Etiquette, American University Career Center, Taken from Events Magazine ( May/June 1998) • www.american.edu/careercenter/online_career_library/DiningEtiq.pdf • Manners That Matter For People Under 21 by Dale Carlson & Dan Fitzgibbon • President Coolidge and Table Manners from Vermont Only, Mile Square Farm, Inc., 2003. • http://www.vtonly.com/lorejun8.htm