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. Listen to this short story maybe even a little funny about the day I met Gabi and Debbie with the magic stick. . . I went over one evening in all innocence, looked around here and there, when suddenly everyone was talking English, and they all went black and white. . . Everyone was there: Miss
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1. Gabi and Debbie
2. Listen to this short story – maybe even a little funny – about the day I met Gabi and Debbie with the magic stick.
3. I went over one evening in all innocence, looked around here and there, when suddenly everyone was talking English, and they all went black and white.
4. Everyone was there: Miss Ding Dong Scooterman, and that cowboy whatsisname. There was Dr Hapbaker, Mister Kashtan, Yirmi Kaplan and his dad too.
5. And Gabi and Debbie but they were standing apart.
Debbie seemed pissed, and Gabi troubled.
6. They said they’d lost some magic stick, and asked me if I’d mind helping them find it? Said Cool – there a prize for the finder?
7. They told me
That if I find it, they’d fly to any place in the world I wanted.
8. Found the stick in a flash, cos Gabi had put it in his back pocket, the fuckwit
Oohoo! I shouted like Homer Simpson in ecstasy
9. Let’s fly to Paris Sheraton Hotel – they’ve got a Bru La Po, and a massive brothel – that’s where I’d like to be.
10. Debbie cleared her throat and said, You have to understand. Actually we’d be happy to oblige, but we have a few limitations.
11. First of all, this is educational TV, so the message has to be positive. You don’t have in mind some place more Zionistic?
12. What Zionisty? I said what? Like Herzl?
Oops! We landed in Basle.
13. HaDag Nachash is doing the Zionist Hip Hop
HaDag Nachash is doing the Zionist Hip Hop
14. HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni
HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni
15. Herzl is leaning on his balcony – so mellow
The moment I saw him he got my back up
16. Is he not ashamed to chill out like nothing’s up when the whole country’s going up in fire – what is he – oblivious?
17. I looked him in the eyes from close up
What a hoot – the irises dilated and the white of the eye pretty red!
Psst, I whispered, looks like he’s stoned…
18. Gabi said
Shut up, play it cool
But I couldn’t hold back and I went for the visionary of the State with no holds barred.
19. With all the details of the awful state of the nation
I told him of the car accidents, I told him of the disabled’s strike
I told him of the Ľ million unemployed
and I told him of the corrupt politicians
20. Herzl didn’t respond, just smiled broadly
Stuck his hand deep into his pockets.
21. I tried to emphasise that there’s no peace, no security
That we’ve had enough of living in terror
Herzl just put me a tab on my tongue and said
22. If you take it, it is no dream!
23. HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni
HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni
24. I didn’t manage to understand what had happened to me
Suddenly I have a carbine in my hands
Found myself in the battle for Tel Hai
25. Wow – I don’t want a weapon – can’t be bothered – I’ve got a profile of 21
But Gabi told me that the story of Tel Hai is very significant, and it’s important to teach about it
26. I recognised Trumpledor immediately, what a weapon
Nu, nu, the one with the arm. Or actually, without.
27. How’s it going Yosef? I asked politely
But Trumpledor was edgy and angry
Suddenly the wind blew up a dust cloud
28. Trumpledor choked and croaked and spat out some green stuff right next to us and afterwards coughed and said:
“It’s good to gob for your country…”
29. HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni
HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni
30. Suddenly it all got too much for me.
My legs gave way, I fell to the ground and shouted Enough!!
This trip was supposed to have been a real treat
31. It’s no fun with you guys at all
You screwed me over, you screwed me over!
32. Debbie recovered first, and turned to me with a motherly look
You’re right, she said, now we’ll fly
Wherever you want, wherever you say.
33. Oh, at last!
Just not to Jerusalem 2002, I said.
But apparently they didn’t hear the ‘not’
34. Because precisely to here
To where?
Exactly to here
Where?
Precisely to here I returned.
35. HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni
HaDag Nachash oseh
Hip hop Tzioni