Spiritual Abuse-- Characteristics and Methods

1. Part I: It's characteristics and methods Presented by Robert H. Munson, ThD Administrator, Bukal Life Care & Counseling Center Spiritual Abuse

2. What is “spiritual abuse”? “The coercion and exploitation of others by the misuse of spiritual authority and power for benefit of the one in authority.” The definition recognize spiritual as greater than simply supernatural, but includes Tillich's view of spirit as POWER combined with MEANING.

3. For the most part, this presentation will focus on spiritual abuse that is tied to the religious... particularly as related to church, parachurch, and discipling relationships. In other words, abusive religious systems. However, it is good to note that spiritual abuse of one form or another is common in many settings and forms. For example, governments will often use a philosophy or mythology to pressure people to conform to the will of the leaders.

4. 1. Most if not all spiritual abusers do not see themselves as abusers. 2. Most who are spiritually abused do not see themselves as being abused... at least at first. 3. Although discipleship is normally good (theological training and religious acculturation), it is also the method by which abuse is justified and normalized in the individual. NOTES TO REMEMBER:

5. 4. Spiritual Abuse has been with us for a long, long time. Some interpretations of Revelation suggest that it will be with us until the return of Christ. (see Ezekiel 34, Matthew 23, III John). 5. Few groups or leaders really start out as abusive.... it develops gradually over time. Commonly, the seed of the problem was there in the beginning (in the structure of the organization or the personality of the leaders), but it took awhile for that seed to bear its destructive fruit. NOTES TO REMEMBER:

6. 5 Hallmarks of Abusive Religious Systems • Authoritarian: Unconditional obedience to the leadership. • Averse to Criticism:The person who dissents is a problem to fix-- not the issue brought up. • Image Conscious: Protecting the reputation of the leaders or church is more important than truth or justice. • Perfectionistic:Individual worth is determined by performance. Weakness or failure not excused. • Unbalanced: Group commonly distinguishes itself by overemphasizing a minor theological point. • -From The Watchmen Fellowship

7. 4 “Rules” of Spiritual Abuse List by Dr. Graham Barker or the “School of Counseling at the Wesley Institute of Drummoyne” Spiritual abuse, like other abuse systems have several unspoken rules: Don’t trust Don’t talk Don’t think Don’t question.”

8. Only the leadership has access, as God’s ‘anointed’ to the true revelation and/or the true interpretation of divine revelation. As such, only the leader or leaders can be trusted. #1. Don't Trust

9. If only the leader or leaders can be trusted, the individual cannot trust himself or herself. Any thoughts or personal experiences that contradict the message from the leader is false, and therefore dangerous. #1. Don't Trust

10. If one cannot trust oneself--- one’s thoughts and experiences--- one really should not think critically. One should just accept, without question, the ‘truth’ given by the leader. Such trust may go well beyond “spiritual issues” and extend to job, clothes, marriage partner, family decisions, and more. #2. Don't Think

11. Thus, to think critically about the group’s beliefs is seen as in some way doubting its truth. This doubt is not seen as a healthy part of learning and growing, but is seen as team disloyalty. #2. Don't Think

12. If truth only comes from the leadership of the group, then only falsehood could come from discussing group teachings or (especially) concerns with those outside fo the group. Again, this would be seen as disloyal to the group. This is especially true of exposing problems inside the group to outsiders. #3. Don't Talk

13. If all truth comes from the leader, and one is really not supposed to think critically about the beliefs or decisions of the group, then one should not question. To question the decisions of the leadership is, again, seen as disloyal and lacking in faith. Humiliation, punishment, or excommunication is likely. #4. Don't Question

14. 8 Methods for Mind Control “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism” by Robert J. Lifton describes 8 methods used in organizations that seek to mind/thought control. Quotes in this section are excerpts of this book as listed in: http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/brainwashing19.html

15. 1. Control of Communication and Content “Establish domain over not only the individual's communication with the outside (all that he sees and hears, reads or writes, experiences, and expresses), but also - in its penetration of his inner life - over what we may speak of as his communication with himself.” While, technically, a group cannot control its members’ thoughts, it can make the members feel guilty for having thoughts (“thoughtcrime” as the term is used in George Orwell’s book, “1984”)

16. 2. Mystical Manipulation “Higher Purpose” or “Special Revelation” is used as justification for requiring TOTAL FAITH. The purpose supercedes all other purposes. The mystical imperative suggests that ANY questioning or reflection not in line with the beliefs of the group is from the “dark side” (the enemy, from Satan, etc.).

17. 3. Demand for Purity “The experiential world is sharply divided into the pure and the impure, into the absolutely good and the absolutely evil. The good and the pure are of course those ideas, feelings, and actions which are consistent with the totalist ideology and policy; anything else is apt to be relegated to the bad and the impure.” This sort of dualism is common with people both inside and outside of abusive groups. Abusive groups take advantage of this over-simplistic ethical view for their own purposes.

18. 4. Cult of Confession “Confession is carried beyond its ordinary religious, legal, and therapeutic expressions to the point of becoming a cult in itself. There is the demand that one confess to crimes one has not committed, to sinfulness that is artificially induced, in the name of a cure that is arbitrarily imposed. Such demands are made possible not only by the ubiquitous human tendencies toward guilt and shame but also by the need to give expression to these tendencies. In totalist hands, confession becomes a means of exploiting, rather than offering solace for, these vulnerabilities. “

19. 5. The Sacred Aura “The totalist milieu maintains an aura of sacredness around its basic dogma, holding it out as an ultimate moral vision for the ordering of human existence. This sacredness is evident in the prohibition (whether or not explicit) against the questioning of basic assumptions, and in the reverence which is demanded for the originators of the Word, the present bearers of the Word, and the Word itself.”

20. 6. Loading the Language “The language of the totalist environment is characterized by the thought-terminating cliché. The most far-reaching and complex of human problems are compressed into brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed. These become the start and finish of any ideological analysis.” The use of “bumper sticker” philosophy is used to quell nuanced thoughts. For example, the phrase, “Let go, and Let God” may sound clever, and even spiritual, but there are relatively few situations where it would be helpful rather than misleading.

21. 7. Supremacy of Doctrine over Person “The underlying assumption is that the doctrine - including its mythological elements - is ultimately more valid, true, and real than is any aspect of actual human character or human experience. … Rather than modify the myth in accordance with experience, the will to orthodoxy requires instead that men be modified in order to reaffirm the myth.”

22. 8. Earned Existence “The totalist environment draws a sharp line between those whose right to existence can be recognized, and those who possess no such right. … Yet one underlying assumption makes this arrogance mandatory: the conviction that there is just one path to true existence, just one valid mode of being, and that all others are perforce invalid and false.” People are valued based on what they do, not who they are.

23. Some Characteristics of a Spiritual Abuser -Need to control others -Authoritative style -Commanding personality -Inability to tolerate criticism/dissension -Surrounds with a small, exclusive clique -Self-proclaimed expert, “anointed” -Secretive about “private” life

24. Many religious traditions have components that make them susceptible to spiritual abuse -Separatist traditions can drift into an abusive isolationist structure. -Hierarchal or apostolic structures can encourage unthinking obedience. -Prophetic groups open the door to secret revelation that quashes critical thinking. -Holiness movements can drive towards a perfectionistic mindset. -Apocalytic groups can reject the value of structures and relationships in the here and now.

25. Signs to Look Out For -Are the leaders open and accountable? -Do they encourage critical thinking? -Are they willing to consider new ideas and initiatives? -Are they open to a diversity of opinion and interpretation? -Are trainers open to dialogue and learning?

26. People don’t typically choose to be part of a spiritually abusive group. People are often “love-bombed” into a flock of sheep, only to find out later, that some of the sheep are wolves in disguise. People are not fools, stupid, or “unspiritual” for getting into such a group. They are often very moral and idealistic, unhappy with other groups they have seen. Abusive groups often seek out “the best and the brightest.” Just leaving an abusive group is not necessarily enough. The abused are mistrusting of others who appear to be kind and helpful-- they have been fooled before. They need special care in recovery. Correcting Myths About the Abused(From Stephen Martin)

27. TThe word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel … 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? … You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd … Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD … because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock … I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock … I myself will search for my sheep and look after them … I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak … I will shepherd the flock with justice … I will save my flock, and they will no longer be plundered … You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are people, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign LORD.'" (Excerpts from Ezekiel 34)

28. References Enroth, Ronald M. “Churches that Abuse.” Zondervan. http://www.reveal.org/development/Churches_that_Abuse.pdf The Watchmen Fellowship http://www.rickross.com Barker, Graham. “The Insidious Harm of Spiritual Abuse” Alive Magazine Lifton, Robert J. “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism.” Martin, Stephen. “Wolves in Sheep's Clothing” . www.wellspringretreat.org