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Guy Fi : The Fictions that Rule Men’s Lives

Guy Fi : The Fictions that Rule Men’s Lives. Christopher Kilmartin, Ph.D. ckilmart@umw.edu. Antifreeze. The Mars and Venus Fiction. All men are alike. All women are alike. All men are different from all women. The Gender Belongs Everywhere Fiction. Drinks Mannerisms Goals in life

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Guy Fi : The Fictions that Rule Men’s Lives

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  1. Guy Fi: The Fictions that Rule Men’s Lives Christopher Kilmartin, Ph.D. ckilmart@umw.edu

  2. Antifreeze.

  3. The Mars and Venus Fiction • All men are alike. • All women are alike. • All men are different from all women.

  4. The Gender Belongs Everywhere Fiction • Drinks • Mannerisms • Goals in life • Preferred activities • Colors • Ways of talking

  5. Violence Fictions • Men are naturally violent. • It’s natural for men to fight. • Men can’t help themselves when they get angry. • Women like “bad boys.” • Violence solves problems.

  6. Emotional Fictions • Tear ducts on men are like nipples on men. • Men have to deal with their feelings in places outside of themselves. • Manly is as manly does.

  7. Where do these fictions come from? The marketplace: What is being sold as a: • Product? • Lifestyle? • Identity? • Life script? • How is the product made desirable, e.g., with visual strategies?

  8. Marketers want everything to be for sale • Identity • Sexuality • Self-esteem • Relationship quality • Happiness • Competence • Self-confidence

  9. Where do these fictions come from? • Historical Hangover.

  10. Masculinity, Athletics, and Drinking • Confirmatory and Compensatory drinking. • “Putting up numbers.” • Goal setting. • Competition. • Social Pressure.

  11. How does this relate to your work? • Men abuse alcohol twice as often as women and abuse other drugs four times as often. Male student athletes abuse substances at a higher rate than those in the general population. • Men are more likely than women underestimate risks to their health. • Men engage in much more violence and other risk behaviors than women. • Gender is a better predictor of negative health outcomes than sex.

  12. What is gender? • The social pressure to behave and experience the self in ways that the culture defines as appropriate for your body. • It is very difficult to resist a pressure that you cannot name. • We are not doing a good job of naming it for men.

  13. Gender is a significant factor, yet: • It is rarely addressed in discussions of health behavior. • Resetting “default options” requires: • Knowledge. • Motivation. • Skill.

  14. We need to teach men to resist gender pressure when: • It conflicts with an important life goal. • It hurts another person. When do we invest time and energy in learning a skill? When we value the outcome.

  15. Preparing for the future • NCAA goal is to focus on the whole person, not just the athlete. • Which men will be able to use their fathers’ and grandfathers’ formulas to deal with work and family pressures? Few, other than those who become professional athletes. • Sending college students out into the world without gender awareness is like sending them out without computer skills. • Men who cling to archaic versions of masculinity run the risk of being left behind.

  16. Remember the Antifreeze: New Questions • How can we educate athletes generally about cultural pressure and specifically about gender pressure? • How can we incorporate masculine gender awareness into our current efforts? • How can we bring this information to athletes with compassion and empathy? • How can we educate coaches and support staff about the importance of gender? • How can we redefine positive aspects of the masculine role: courage, independence, loyalty?

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