The Roommate Commandments

1. The Roommate Commandments How to Avoid, Handle, and Solve Conflict By Shawna Strickland and Jordan Weimar

2. I. Thou Shalt Speak • Communication is the basis for any relationship. • Keep it positive by talking to your roomie before things get unbearable. You’ll be surprised how much better it will go! • If you feel like you need help starting the conversation, see your RA. • Don’t forget to talk anything and everything, not just when there might be a problem. Roomies are friends, too!

3. II. Thou Shalt Be Understanding • Realize that you’re both sharing a very small space. • If your roomie comes to you about something, try to see it from their point of view as well. • Compromise is necessary from both sides. You’ll need to give some thought to what you can improve, too. • Try to give all situations a win-win outcome. • Remember, you’re in this together!

4. III. Thou Shalt R-E-S-P-E-C-T • Remember those contracts you wrote at the beginning of the year? Take a moment to revisit those or create a new one. • Respect your roomie’s boundaries, both within the room and in lifestyle. • You’ll both make new friends, and remember to respect your roomie’s new pals, too.

5. IV. Thou Shalt Sleep • If you’re an early bird, considering leaving a small light on at night and being understanding of a late sleeper in the morning. • If you’re a night owl, come back when you’re ready to settle in for the night. Avoid bringing fellow night owls over after roomie’s bedtime. • For both, try to avoid hitting “Snooze” too often. • Remember to turn your alarm off on the weekends, too.

6. V. Thou Shalt be True to Thyself • No one likes a faker. After all, who likes Paris Hilton? • Be yourself no matter what. It will make addressing the issues easier in the end. • Learn to appreciate the differences in your personalities. Opposites attract, right?

7. VI. Thou Shalt Ask • Every roomie has some awesome stuff, but remember to ask before touching. • It’s important to actually abide by equitable division of goodies if you’re splitting the expense. • Before wearing your roomie’s favorite shirt to a hot and sweaty club, think how you’d feel if you didn’t get it back for weeks.

8. VII. Thou Shalt Not Sex • Okay, so we’re not talking abstinence, just boundaries. • If roomie is present, tone down the PDA. • Avoid sexiling your roommate. No one likes to be in the lobby alone at two in the morning. • Define what is ok in terms of overnight visitors, and respect those terms. • Split up the fun between your room and your significant other’s place, too. • Practice safe sex, but dispose of the evidence.

9. VIII. Thou Shalt Take Out the Trash • Devise a plan to switch trash duties, then stick to it. • Don’t let one person get stuck with the dirty deed, whether it’s taking out the trash and recycling or vacuuming the room, etc. • If you need to clear space in the bathroom for the custodian, remember to take care of your own stuff.

10. IX. Thou Shalt be Clean • When a room smells more like a dumpster than a living area, it’s a bad sign. • Try to avoid dirty clothes everywhere. Nothing is less exciting than stepping on dirty underwear. • If you want to be messy, try to keep it on your side of the room.

11. X. Thou Shalt Uphold the Platinum Rule • Do unto others as they want done unto them. • Know that everyone does things differently, from handling conflict to eating their cereal. • Respecting these differences and treating your roomie as they want to be treated will set you both up for a positive experience.

12. Meet the Creators! • Thank you for using this bulletin board! Jordan and I both hope that you will find it helpful and useful on your floor. Please let us know if you do post the board; it’s always nice to hear about its success! • Shawna: slstrick@holly.colostate.edu • Jordan and I are both second year RAs in Parmelee Hall at Colorado State University in Fort Collins. (Fall 2008) At RA training, summer 2008. 80s workout theme day!