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Boundary Awareness Training

Boundary Awareness Training. Welcome. Introductions. What led you to enter the ministry? What do you most enjoy? What is most difficult about ministry? What do you expect to happen/not happen in our time together? Our norms. What are Boundaries?. Boundaries are Biblical.

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Boundary Awareness Training

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  1. Boundary AwarenessTraining Penny J. Cannon GVA Boundary Awareness Trainer

  2. Welcome Introductions

  3. What led you to enter the ministry? What do you most enjoy? What is most difficult about ministry? What do you expect to happen/not happen in our time together? • Our norms

  4. What are Boundaries?

  5. Boundaries are Biblical Responsible “to” vs “for” (Galatians 6:2, 5) Sacrifices vs enabling (Luke 13:9) Moses lacked boundaries (Exodus 18: 14- 27) The expectations of others (Romans 12:2)

  6. Why Do We Need Boundaries? Create a safe place Limit vulnerability Define relationships Prevent exploitation

  7. Issues of Power --What is power? --What is your power? --What is the power imbalance in your congregation/ministry?

  8. Professional Role Set apart Guardian of sacred symbols/rituals Representative of God Vessel /channel of divine power Interpreter of scriptures Initiator of pastoral contact

  9. Defining and maintaining boundaries is always the responsibility of the professional. • With power comes accountability.

  10. Power and Vulnerability • Age • Maturity • Economic resources • Social standing • Race/ethnicity/color • Gender • Sexual orientation • Language • Culture • Social networks • Physical abilities • Mental capacity • Education • Religious affiliation • Geographic location • Marital status • Name recognition/fame • Entire congregations can be vulnerable

  11. Abuse of Power Overtaking the will of another through manipulation, deception, induction of guilt, dominance, coercion, intimidation or violence. Spiritual power abuse means cloaking behavior in spiritual language.

  12. Potential Boundary Violations • Sexual misconduct

  13. Sexual Abuse • Behavior of a sexual nature perpetrated by a person in a relationship of trust with the victim and where there is an imbalance of power.

  14. Sexualized Behavior • Includes seductive conduct where there is no sexual contact. • Feeds the sexual fantasies of the one initiating the behavior.

  15. Sexual Harassment • Legal term defined as generally involv- ing two types of behavior: • Giving someone unwanted attention of a sexual nature that creates a hostile or harmful environment for the subject of the attention (may be a one time incident or a series of occurrences). • Requesting sexual favors in exchange for favorable treatment or punishing someone for refusing to give in to requests for sexual favors.

  16. Touch • What is your level of comfort? • Who sets the limits? • Do boundaries change with gender, age, sexual orientation?

  17. Potential Boundary Violations • Sexual misconduct • Abuse of authority

  18. Abuse of Authority • Make all the decisions, “king” or “queen” • I decide - all of worship, who gets church positions, color of the carpet . . . • I never delegate, I always delegate • I need more time off, more money, free services . . . Abuse of power and authority lead to most other boundary violations

  19. Potential Boundary Violations • Sexual misconduct • Abuse of authority • Conflict of interest

  20. Conflict of Interest

  21. Potential Boundary Violations • Sexual misconduct • Abuse of authority • Conflict of interest • Leave taking

  22. Leave Taking • Leaving the church but not the area • Retirement • Removal from position • Different area of ministry • Illness • Family changes

  23. Potential Boundary Violations • Sexual misconduct • Abuse of authority • Conflict of interest • Leave taking • Financial misconduct

  24. Financial Misconduct • Persuading finance committee to get creative with benefits and tax plans. • Misappropriating funds • Having full information of giving by congregants • Channeling funds to family members

  25. Potential Boundary Violations • Sexual misconduct • Abuse of authority • Conflict of interest • Leave taking • Financial misconduct • Dual relationships

  26. Dual Relationships & Dating • Who benefits from the relationship? • Friendship – confidante, get the word out, find an ally, complain to, . . . • Meet a social need • Find a mate – is dating ever acceptable?

  27. Gifts What kind? How valuable? With or without strings attached? How can you tell? When is saying “no” unkind? How can you respond?

  28. Social Media • Facebook • Tweeting, Texting • Email • Newsletters, prayer chains • Blog

  29. Issues of Self-care Most boundary issues result from a lack of self-care and not setting protective boundaries for one’s self.

  30. Know yourself • Identify the pressures of your ministry • Recognize your strengths • Deal with criticism • Learn to manage conflicts

  31. Create a Plan • Find colleagues for study and support • Have a spiritual director or therapist • Develop a structured support system in your ministry

  32. Care for Yourself • Get a life – Have a life • Set boundaries – no apologies needed “Pray always and do not lose heart.” . . . and get some sleep!

  33. “A boundary can protect those on either side.”

  34. Boundary AwarenessTrainingPlease complete evaluations Penny J. Cannon GVA Boundary Awareness Trainer

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