Lecture 2: Attachment, Love, Loss,Change, and the Research Project

1. Lecture 2: Attachment, Love, Loss,Change, and the Research Project • Today’s Agenda: • a) Select Reading from Oxford Book of Death • b) Introduce Attachment Theory and its Affect on Love and Loss • c) Break • d) Completing the RAQ • e) Movie application “Good Will Hunting” Solowoniuk 2010

2. Part 1: Attachment

3. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves... • What is love? • Is the book talking about love or about attachment? • Are they correlated?

4. Here’s a quote that I think captures it... • “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. • Rumi

5. Attachment Theory • Definition of Attachment: • An enduring emotional tie to a special person, characterized by a tendency to seek and maintain closeness, especially during times of stress.

6. Roots of Attachment Theory • John Bowlby applied ethology to infants • Influenced by Konrad Lorenz • Infant’s innate behaviours are evolved responses which promote survival • These behaviours include: sucking, crying, smiling, clinging, and following. • Behaviours are modified from inception by the behaviour of the Primary Care Figure (PCF).

7. KonradLorenz

9. PCF reactions... • Bowlby found that temporary separations from PCF evoked distinctive type of reactions (separation anxiety) from infant, toddler, etc. • More importantly, he showed how infant/toddler’s reactions upon PCF return may evoke the very behaviour the infant/toddler intended to prevent.

10. Enter: Mary Ainsworth • “Is the child who clings to his mother - who is afraid of the world and the people in it, and who will not move off to explore other things or other people - more strongly attached or merely more insecure?” • Ainsworth • Made the distinction between strength of attachment and security of attachment. • The natural question that had to be asked was:

11. Development of the Strange Test • Developed experiment /method to classify patterns of attachment between infants and mothers: Strange Situation Test (SST) during separation. • Led to the development of 2 categories of attachment • 1 type being Secure and 3 types of Insecure.

12. Strange Situation

13. Secure Attachment • Infant / toddler uses caregiver as a secure base • May show distress at separation, but the baby can be soothed at reunion • Parents of these children display sensitivity to infants/toddlers needs • Some parents report having attachment issues of their own from the past, but have gotten over them. • Interestingly, their marriages are also less likely to be conflicted than those of the parents of insecurely attached children.

14. Insecure - Anxious / ambivalent • Infant/toddler(s) (IFT) found on the SST who have PCF’s who are over-anxious, insensitive to their child’s needs, and discourage exploration. • (IFT) • Shows great distress during separation • Clings and cries angrily upon return • Distress continues after reunion for much longer than securely attached infants

15. Insecure / avoidant • Are infant/toddler(s) (IFT) found on the SST who have MFC’s who do not show feelings, cannot tolerate closeness, punish child’s attachment behaviour. • (IFT) then learns to: • Inhibit their tendency to cling and cry • During the SST when (MFC) re-appears (IFT) appears indifferent and uncaring will even ignore (MFC). But this is not the true case as inside they are physiologically aroused. • Research has showed that (MFC’s) can be responsive to (IFT’s) under low levels of stress, but under high levels become less responsive.

16. Disorganized / disoriented • In this case the IFT has a MFC who often feel helpless, and are frightened by their own children. • The MFC often lacks in confidence with respect to their ability to care for and control their child and they may see their child as more powerful than themselves. • Ultimately, this conditions the (IFT) to develop disorganized and contradictory behaviour. • (IFT’s) may cry during separation but avoid the MFT upon return or they may approach the MFT upon return then freeze/fall, hit themselves, rock back and forth, etc. • This group shows the greatest distress and in adult life have the most problems in living.

17. The Disorganized / Disoriented MFC: Why? • Experience of their own childhood trauma • Active addictions • Loss of parent before birth of child • Currently experiencing a trauma / related problem

18. How Reliable is the SST... Is Attachment for Life • The SST and attachment theories are a science - not the truth. • They are based on observances, cutoff scores, etc. • SST doesn’t measure strength of attachment • All attachment patterns have a function...

19. Function of Insecure Attachments • WHY WOULD CHILDREN CONTINUE TO ACT APPARENTLY INSECURELY ? • ANXIOUSNESS / AMBIVALENCE (Cling / Stay close / Protest) • AVOIDANT (Stands of own two feet / seek dependence / inhibit feelings) • DISORGANIZED / DISORIENTED (Stands of own two feet / seek dependence / inhibit feelings / act inconspicuous / withdraw / freeze / ) • Thoughts folks?

20. Attachments in later childhood • Major theme in the book and partly the course - how does attachment predispose one to chronic or complicated grief? • This will be the topic of study for about 3 - 4 weeks. • But, first let’s look at how attachment patterns show up in adult life. Some of this is theoretical some of this has been validated through studies.

21. Attachments in later childhood what do we think we know? • Attachments patterns that have been established by two years of age appear to remain stable and predict quality of relationships in later childhood • Anxious / ambivalent school children seem to lack confidence and assertiveness necessary for interaction with peers. • Avoidant children show more aggression to other children and teachers rate them as more hostile, impulsive, and withdrawn. • Meanwhile, disorganized children appear to be a risk for psychiatric problems in later childhood (12 and beyond). • Further research has demonstrated that attachment patterns are indeed hard to break and that the assumptive world that the child experienced between 0 - 2 is the lens in which they view world as older children. • This is important because ... It’s all about building trust!

22. Trust in Self and Others • The goal of the parent is to? • According to Parkes: • “The principle function of parenting is to provide a secure base from which developing children will learn the extent to which they can rely on themselves and the extent to which that can rely on others” (pg. 17)

23. Four Categories of Basic Trust Other Trust Self Trust High High Secure Attachment Insecure Anxious / Ambivalent Low High Avoidant High Low Disorganized Low Low

24. A word about Trust • Problems can arise from a lack of trust, but trusting too much can also lead to similar problems. • For instance, self doubts of anxious / ambivalent children will make them more willing to seek help when help is needed, but they also may open themselves to exploitation. • Similarly, the securely attached may be too willingly to trust society and never question it’s rules or leaders.

25. Part II: Loss and Change / A Brief Overview

26. Why Grief? • Love = attachment Who does well? Who doesn’t ? Loss Grief

27. Determinants of Outcome after Bereavement: Research says... • Risks factors for complicated / chronic bereavement • Personal vulnerability of the bereaved • Attachment to the deceased • Events / circumstances lead up to and including death • Social supports and other circumstances taking place after death • Dependent relationships • Ambivalent relationships

28. ALL IN ALL EMPIRICAL STUDIES... • SHOW A VARIETY OF FACTORS INFLUENCE THE EXPRESSION of Grief... BUT THEY DON’T EXPLAIN WHY?

29. Grief as a process of change • early research and theory building never meant to denote that normal grieving had stages • Tow

30. According to parkes the study of grief, loss, and bereavement is often muddled because it appears at times that we are not studying the same phenomena. • Thus he posits a definition of grief: • Grief involves a serious loss and a reaction of intense pining or yearning for the object lost (separation anxiety). • He thens says if these components are missing the person can be said to not be grieving...

31. Bereavement • Bereavement means: the state or fact of being bereaved due to the death of a loved one. • it denotes a period of time. • During this period of time we are grieving but often their are other reactions due to the fact of bereavement: • threats to our security • major changes to our lives • Major changes in our family • horrific memories of terrifying events • blame toward other s for death • shame and/or guilt for our own complicity or neglect None of these is part of grief though they may complicate grief and cause lasting problems!

32. Complicated Grief (Prigerson et al. 1995) • Seven symptoms constitute complicated grief: • Searching • Yearning • Preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased • Crying • Disbelief regardingthe death • Feeling stunned by the death • Lack of acceptance of thedeath. • All of these symptoms significantlyimpair global functioning (i.e., mood, sleep, occupation, self-esteem, relationships, etc)

33. Other Grief Theories: Trying to Answer the why? • Psychosocial transition theory • Our Assumptive World • Reauthorizing Narratives • Meaning making • Shattered Assumptions • Illusions are unveiled • Dual Process Model of Grieving • Loss orientation and Restoration coping • Continuing Bonds • Deceased are carried within

34. The Research Project • Test clinical impressions/hypothesis which suggest that: • Love and loss are intertwined • Childhood attachments patterns / separation from parents / relationships in later life influence how we cope with stress and loss, and; • Understand the problems/dynamics which cause people to seek help after bereavement in adult life. • And ultimately, to understand the chains of causation and to clarify the reasons why some people come through the pain of bereavement and emerge stronger and wiser than before while others suffer lasting damage to their mental health.

35. Bereaved participants • 181 patients who attended Royal London Hospital • 43 men • 138 women • 74% had been bereaved for over a year before entering into the study • average age 41

36. Relationship of the dead person to the respondent • Spouse or partner • Mother • Father • Child • Stillbirth • Miscarriage • Sibling • Other • Multiple n = 34 n = 31 n = 9 n = 25 n = 1 n = 3 n = 12 n = 12 n = 33

37. FINDING YOUR ATTACHMENT TYPE: INSECURE / SECURE Section 1: Parenting Section 11: Childhood Vulnerability 11, 15, 16, 28 17, 18, 19, 20 7, 8, 9a, 9b, 12 1, 3, 4, 5, 14 6, 4 10, 13, 25, 26, 27 Corresponding numbers Corresponding numbers • Parental distant control • Parental over protection • Parental depression / psych • Parental separation • Parental unusual closeness • Parental rejection / violence 5, 6 7, 10, 12, 15, 16, 24, 25 20, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 8, 14, 17,18, 19 9, 32, 33 11, 23 • Childhood illness • Childhood timidity • Childhood aggressive distrust • Childhood Dresden vase • Childhood unhappiness • Childhood care giving • Parental violent aggression If “yes” is chosen for any indicated number give 1 point, if “no” zero point

38. Scoring ExceptionsMost Yes/No questions are scored Yes = 1 No = 0 Except for: Section 1 question (1) No = 1Section 1 question (2a) No = 1Section 1 question (29) No = 1Section IIi question (6) No = 1 Section iii question (9B) NO = 1

39. FINDING YOUR ATTACHMENT TYPE: INSECURE / SECURE • If you score 11 or less attachment style = insecure • More than 21 attachment style = insecure • Average score from bereaved study participants was 17 • Other subcategories scoring to follow

40. SCORING YOUR ANXIOUS / AMBIVALENT SCORE • SUM THESE CATEGORIES • PARENTAL UNUSAL CLOSENESS SI - 6, 4 • PARENTAL OVERPROTECTIVENESS SI -17, 18, 19, 20 • CHILDHOOD TIMIDITY SII - 7, 10, 12, 15, 16, 24, 25 • DRESDEN VASE SII - 8, 14, 17,18, 19 • 10 MORE = INDICATES ANXIOUS AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT • SCORE = 7 WAS AVERAGE SCORE FOR BEREAVED PARTICIPANTS

41. SCORING AVOIDANT ATTACHMENTS • SUM THESE CATEGORIES • PARENTS INTOLERANT OF CLOSENESS SI - 28 • CHILD INTOLERANT OF CLOSENESS SII - 26 • CHILDHOOD AGGRESSIVENESS / DISTRUSTSII 20, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 • SCORE OF 6 OR MORE INDICATES AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT • SCORE 3.8 WAS AVERAGE SCORE FOR BEREAVED PARTICIPANTS

42. SCORING DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENTS • SUM THESE CATEGORIES • FAMILY EXPERIENCE DANGER / PERSECUTION SII - 4 • PARENTAL REJECTION / VIOLENCE SI - 10, 13, 25, 26, 27 • PARENTAL DEPRESSION / PSYCH SI - 7, 8, 9a, 9b, 12 • CHILDHOOD UNHAPPINESS SII - 9, 32, 33 • COMPULSIVE CAREGIVING SII - 11, 23 • SCORE OF 6 OR MORE INDICATES DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT • SCORE 4.5 WAS AVERAGE SCORE FOR BEREAVED PARTICIPANTS

43. part I Good Will Hunting: Group Emersion

44. Group Task and Questions • Form Group’s of 5 / 6 • Select Captain / Spokesperson • Task • Group is watch movie and provide evidence of attachment / grief details related to movie and characters. • Be as analytical as possible • Video will be watched over 2 classes / group who wins will be given a prize...