Being A Woman Being Successful Learning the Game

1. Being A Woman Being Successful Learning the Game FAPAC 2012 National Training Conference April 30 – May 4, 2012 Atlanta, Georgia Presenter: Oliver C. Allen, Jr.

2. Objectives Discuss statistics that impact women in the workforce Learn the common mistakes that have been a trend with women Learn how to prepare for the game of work Learn how to play the game And whatever you want to talk about Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

3. The Statistics Know the facts but do not become bound by them! Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

4. The Glass Ceiling is Cracking, but… Significant improvement since 1970 Ratio of women’s earnings as compared to men is 81.2% (as of 2011) 23.4% of women 23 years old held Bachelor’s degree compared to 14% of young men Stuck at doing service, factory work, farm work & teaching until the before the slow change during the last century Increased education and experience Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

5. The FactsSource: www.bls.gov Employed Asian women were more likely to work in the higher paying management, professional occupations in 2009 than were employed White, Black, or Hispanic women Forty-seven percent of Asian women worked in managerial and professional jobs compared with 41 percent of White women, 34 percent of Black women, and 25 percent of Hispanic women. Meanwhile, Hispanic (32 percent) and Black (29 percent) women were more likely than White and Asian women to work in service occupations (20 and 21 percent, respectively). Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

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9. Educational attainment of young women ages 18 to 23 from 1998 – 2008, percent distribution Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

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11. Learn the Game of Men & Win The Business Game Manual for Men. Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

12. Common Mistakes Stop the Madness! Based on the book Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101 by Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D. Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

13. Tippy’s Tip Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game It’s a myth that you have to give up your life to have a successful career All work and no play makes for a very dull day and a very dull YOU

14. Common Mistakes • Ask questions as a safe way of expressing an idea • Such questions typically take the form of, “What would you think if we… ?” or “Have you considered… ?” • By asking a question rather than making a statement, women relinquish ownership of and the outcomes for their ideas Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

15. Common Mistakes (cont) Don’t know where the imaginary boundaries are and don’t understanding the unspoken rules Giving lengthy explanations which may cause your audience to mentally checkout Preambles, combined with explanations, are lethal Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

16. Common Mistakes (cont) Asking permission Have you ever noticed that men don’t ask for permission? They ask for forgiveness. It’s a variation on asking questions to play it safe—but potentially more self-defeating Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

17. Common Mistakes (cont) Women Viewpoint – “If I don’t do it, no one else will.” This only ensures that you’ll be doing it—and for a long time While women are doing the grunt work, men are building their careers. They are no fools Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

18. Common Mistakes (cont) Working without a break Volunteering for low-profile assignments Polling for decisions Prematurely abandoning career goals Don’t keep up with their industry by reading current and updated information Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

19. Preparing for the Big Game Game time may mean some pain time but hang in there! Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

20. Game Prep • Learn the team culture • Get on the team • You have to sell yourself • Wear the right attire even though men don’t have to • Once you are on the team, find your comfort level and style • Set your goals • IDP is a necessity • Mentor is a necessity Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

21. Game Prep - Key Points Most women at a disadvantage Forced to be more flexible Men do not have to use the manual; they invented the manual Men from youth are trained to compete and win at all cost Women are trained to nurture and socialize Women wait to be recognized; men don’t Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

22. Game Prep - What is Winning To women it is loving what you do To men most often it is contingent upon material success What is winning to you? Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

23. Game Prep - The Emotion Factor • Men can show emotion and even cry • Men figure it must be a good reason for a man to cry • Men strive to protect themselves from emotional pain • Men are far more sensitive to being hurt than most women realize. • Men compartmentalize their emotions to cover a vulnerable interior that he feels a strong need to protect • Unfortunately, this is a major stressor and causes many health risk for men • If women cry it takes on a different meaning to men • Men expect women to cry Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

24. Game Prep - The Emotion Factor (cont)Based on the bookFor Women Only in the Workplace: What You Need to Know About How Men Think at Workby Shaunti Feldhahn • Women compared to a computer may have several windows open simultaneously • However, a large percent of women have a hard time closing down thoughts that nag them • A man opens one window at a time. • He works on it, closes it, then opens another • Usually, has no trouble closing out thoughts that bother him Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

25. If You Decide to Play… Make your decision from a position of power rather than weakness Know that family may be an obstacle Know men usually don’t feel obligated to stay home Women tend to not get notice just because of their good work; must speak out Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

26. If You Decide to Play…(Cont) Do what you love; however, understand the consequences Use your relationship skills to your advantage Remember, its business, not personal for men Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

27. It’s Not Personal (Defined) Many women tend to have a holistic view of the world, one where personal, family, and work matters are all viewed as part of the big picture called life When women are feeling attacked, underappreciated, or disappointed at work, and someone says, “It’s not personal,” that doesn’t speak true to women Men, on the other hand, tend to have a very different view. It is as if they exist in two different worlds: Work World and Personal World Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

28. Tippy’s Timely Tips You have to ask for what you want Men start the game right-away; so should you Remember its just business NOTE of Interest: Men act as though they are in charge even though they are not. Don’t be intimidated Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

29. Tippy’s Timely Tips • A man will prepare for a subject but does not usually stress to know everything • Will tap dance when he doesn’t know an answer • Will talk loud and long when he doesn’t know an answer • Women when they enter the game only have their knowledge to rely on in the beginning • Tend to learn everything they can about a subject • Usually, don’t have to worry about being caught off-guard • However, no one knows everything • Will begin to doubt readiness when she doesn’t know an answer Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

30. Game Time Lets Play! Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

31. Tippy’s Tip Learn to play chess. It will help you develop a more strategic mind. Lois P. Frankel Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

32. Playing the GameBased on the book Play Like a Man; Win Like a Woman by Gail Evans • Ask for what you want • Speak out • Speak up • Toot your own horn • Don’t expect to make friends • Accept uncertainty • Take a risk • Be an imposter • Think small • Don’t Anguish (whine) • Support the team leader • Don’t assume responsibility w/o authority • Sit at the table • Laugh Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

33. What Men Can Do at Work But You Can’tBased on the book Play Like a Man; Win Like a Woman by Gail Evans They can cry you can’t They can fidget you can’t They can yell you can’t They can have bad manners you can’t They can be ugly you can’t Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

34. Do You Need a Mentor Identify a mentor Must be someone successful playing the game Must be someone you can openly discuss the rules in your organization Learn to play a sport, if you have not already; it will help you understand the concepts Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

35. What’s In the Rules Women play it safe and have a tendency to avoid risks and obey all the rules to the letter and expect others to as well Men bend and win However, one must remain within the ethical codes of the organization Play the game within bounds, but at the edges Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

36. Winning Points With the Boss • Women focus on work from 9 A.M. - 5 P.M. • Men take time to talk about football or last weekend’s golf scores with the boss • They are building relationships that will later work for them • They are bonding with the boss in a way that allows him (Different w/her) to better know his team members • As a result, when growth opportunities became available, he picked them because he was familiar and comfortable with them Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

37. Tippy’s Tip Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game Spend 5 percent of your day building relationships

38. Speaking Different Languages(At Home) Her Him I’m sure some people notice you But I am listening to you right now That’s not true. We went out last week That’s ridiculous. You are not helpless Of course I do. That’s why I’m here • Everyone ignores me • No one listens to me anymore • We never go out • I am so tired. I can’t do anything • You don’t love me anymore Based on the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray, Ph.D. Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

39. Speaking Different Languages(At Work) Leaves Doubt More Confident I believe it would be best.. I intend to… I would advise you to… The opposition would say My proposal is that we… • It feels like we should… • I might… • You could consider… • One could argue that… • I was thinking… Based on the book Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101 by Lois P. Frankel Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

40. Tippy’s Final Tip • Be a woman • Your social skills can be used to your advantage • Use you win/win about life • Use you intuition • Be yourself • Your integrity is a big part of you • Be true to yourself • Find a comfortable fit between you and your environment Being A Woman, Being Successful, Learning the Game

41. Resources Anticipating, Managing & Profiting From Change Bureau of Labor Statistics. Women at Work, 2011 Bureau of Labor Statistics. Women in the Labor Force Data Book, 2011 Evans, G. Play Like a Man Win Like a Woman, New York: Broadway Books, 2000 Feldhahn, S. For Women Only in the Workplace, Colorado: Multnomah Books, 2011 Frankel, L. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101, New York: Warner Business Books, 2004 Gray, J. Men Are From Mars , Women Are From Venus, New York: HarperCollins Publishers

42. Oliver C. Allen, Jr. PHONE: (202) 307-8888 EMAIL: Oliver.C.Allen2@usdoj.gov