Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence 95% of victims are women 25% of women report being physically assaulted or raped by an intimate partner Occurs at all levels of society but more common in lower socioeconomic level

Characteristics of Potential Batterer • Unable to express feelings • Physically or psychologically abused as a child • Mother battered by father • Known to display violence against others • Commits acts of violence against objects, animals . . . things other than people • Loses temper frequently and more easily than seems necessary

Characteristics, con’t. • Has control issues • Drinks alcohol excessively • Unusual amount of jealousy displayed • Demands time and knowledge of how time is spent • Becomes enraged when advice is ignored • Appears to have a dual personality

Characteristics, con’t. • Sense of fear when he becomes angry . . . Does not making him angry dictate your behavior? • Rigid gender stereotype roles • Humiliates you in front of others • Attempts to keep you from family and friends • Forces you to have sex

Everyone has the right to live free from abuse. . . “I wish I would have broken up with him the first time he called me stupid. I see now he was trying to control every part of my life, to keep me afraid of changing things. It’s taken a lot to realize that I deserve a better life.” Quote from an abused woman

Emotional Abuse • Emotional abuse happens when someone insults, humiliates or uses “mind-games” to control another person. • May occur in 20% of all relationships • Happens regardless of income, education and ethnicity • Emotional abuse does not always lead to physical abuse but physical and sexual abuse almost always involves emotional abuse.

What are the Signs? • The Abuser: • Wants all the control. • Discounts feelings and views. • Confuses and frightens the partner. • The Abused: • Often can’t admit there’s a problem. • May lose confidence or feel afraid.

If you are being abused . . . • Don’t blame yourself. • Refuse to be abused. • Think about leaving. • Think about your safety. • Seek help. Healthy disagreements are mutual . . . Abuse isn’t equal! Children who see emotional abuse between adults are at risk to be depressed and become abused or be abusive later in life. www.etr.org

Sexual Violence/Rape Any time someone forces another person to have sex, it is sexual violence/rape! • Most are women • Acquaintance rape is more common than stranger rape. • Many women don’t realize it is rape when someone they know forces them to have sex. • Knowledge and preparation = Power

What to watch for . . . You can’t tell by looking but here are some warning signs: • No real respect for women • See women as sex objects • Continue touching even when asked to stop • Think violent behavior is normal • Drink and use drugs • Encourage women they are with to drink and use drugs

Drugs and Rape • Rohypnol (“roofies,” “roaches,” “larocha”) • Gamma-hydorxybutyric acid (“G”) Drugs cause sleep and amnesia. To avoid being drugged: • Do not accept drinks from strangers or casual acquaintances. • Never leave a drink unattended.

Protecting Yourself from Rape By Someone You Know: • Set your sexual limits ahead of time. • Be clear with the person about your limits and mean it . . .no mixed messages with dress or behavior • Be alert for warning signs. • Don’t go alone with someone you barely know. • Have money and a back-up plan for getting home. • Be careful of alcohol or other drug use. • Do not be pressured into sex.

Date rape, by any other name, is still RAPE!!! Sex is not alright just because . . . • He spent a lot of money on her. • They have dated a long time. • He is so aroused he thinks he can’t stop. • She has had sex with him before. • She says she will have sex but changes her mind. • She led him on. • She is stoned or drunk. • She is wearing suggestive clothing.

Protecting Yourself from Rape By Strangers: • Know your neighbors and watch out for each other. • Don’t let strangers into your home/apartment/room. • Be alert always! • Stay on well-lighted streets with other people. • Walk with confidence. • Don’t leave drinks unattended. • If possible keep a cell phone when walking or driving alone.

If someone attacks you . . . • Try to stay calm and think clearly. • Fight, scream or run away if you can. • Don’t plead or cry. It probably won’t help. • Trust your feelings. • If you have to submit, remember you are not responsible in any way for the rape.

If you are raped . . . • Remember you are the victim of a crime. Don’t blame yourself! • Preserve all evidence. Do not shower. • Get medical attention. • Report the rape to authorities. • Seek help and support • Victims are never forced to file a law enforcement report even if Public Safety is involved UWG Public Safety – 770-836-6600 Rape Crisis – 770-834-7273 National Sexual Assault Hotline – Free and confidential 24/7 1-800-656-HOPE www/rainn.org

What is Sexual Coercion? It is being persuaded to have sex when you don’t really want to. Forms: • Pressure • Threats • Flattery • Put-downs • Guilt trips/”owed” favors

Are you having sex when you don’t really want to? • Do you feel pressure from friends or person you are dating? • Do you ever feel like the person you’re dating doesn’t truly respect you? • Do you want to have sex because you’re curious or just to “get it over with”? • Do you feel like “everyone else is doing it”? • If you have decided to have sex, do you ever feel bad or have doubts about your decision? • Are there times you don’t want to have sex, but feel like you can’t say no?

Responses to Sexual Pressure • “I really like you. I’m just not ready to have sex.” • “If you really care about me you’ll respect my decision.” • “I said no. I don’t owe you an explanation.”

Website Resources • www.westga.edu/~health • www.rainn.org Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network – hotline and on-line help & information • www.abanet.org/ • domviol/home.html • www.gnesa.org/ (Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault)

Domestic Violence