British Association of Sexual Educators Sex Toys for the Disabled Mary Clegg

1. British Association of Sexual EducatorsSex Toys for the DisabledMary Clegg

2. Mary Clegg PG.Dip. PST Porterprook Psychosexual Therapist Chair British Association of Sexual Eductors www.maryclegg.com mary.clegg@baseuk.org

3. BASE’s Aims • Promote, provide and support quality, positive sexual education in the UK for all ages throughout life • Encourage sharing of knowledge, information and resources for Sexual Educators • To recognise skilled sexual education

4. Mission Statement • Support for sexual educators in their specific fields • Sharing of positive sexual education that is significantly more than information about sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy prevention • Providing access to sexual education information that is appropriate and accurate so that people can make informed choices • The provision of information about sex in a user-friendly and accessible manner • Creating an environment of openness and frankness about sex • Encouraging and participating in national debate on sexual issues

5. Relationship breakdowns cost money(sexual difficulties may be involved) • Silent Marker for other illness • There is evidence that the Patient/Health • Professional relationship could be enhanced • by addressing their sexual concerns • It makes sense to routinely ask about our patients • sex lives

6. Sexual rights are enshrined in the draft WHO statement on sexual health and could be described as“The enjoyment of sexual activity of one’s choice without causing or suffering physical or mental harm.”

7. BASE into action • Silent Witness a series of introductory lectures on sexual health topics called Silent Witness mainly because sexual health is a subject that is still largely taboo and not talked freely about and that some sexual problems are a silent marker for more serious health issues. • Teaching Packs As a result requests for provision of teaching material we have developed lesson plans. We have given them material on sexual physiology to ensure that year 10s have the most accurate and relevant knowledge about sexual pleasure, relationship communication and prevention of disorders later in life. • Website We have set up a dynamic and rapidly expanding website which can act as a forum/information resource/guide to training and events • New resources We are actively sourcing new material, information /leaflets in a number of areas • Networking At a recent meeting three individuals all working with clients with learning difficulties, but in very different structures and posts, met and are now liasing and working in supportive, mutual partnership in their sexual educator roles.

8. Contact us! Email: info@baseuk.org Web: www.baseuk.org Phone: 01264 334192

9. Choosing Sex Toys for a disabled person

10. Some disabled people have experienced success with regaining a positive self-image of themselves as sexual beings by reading erotic books, playing with sex toys, watching erotic films and paying attention to what makes them feel good. Even though most books and films do not include people with disabilities, they can give us ideas about feeling sexy and what may turn us on.Dr. Linda R. Mona

11. Handout on tips and hints • What are the barriers • What do clients need from a sex toy • Share experiences if possible mary@maryclegg.com

12. Who is the sex toy for? • The Client • Their partner to use • With the client or on their own • Friend or family member Then they need to be involved in the decision making process

13. What sort of sex toy to buy and why • Can the client do it for themselves • Do they have allergies • Do they need a carer

14. Privacy • Set up • Positioning • Cleaning • Packaging- Is the packaging easy or diffiuclt to open? • Where are they going to store it • Who will know the client has it • Does there need to be continuity of care

15. 1. Clean your own sex toys.Some toys are easier to clean than others. 2. Battery powered vibrators that are waterproof can be immersed in water and cleaned while you are bathing or taking a shower. 3. A non-waterproof vibrator is more difficult to clean because if you get any water near the cap it will probably damage it. 4. If you can get a condom onto a toy it will extend its life and make clean up easier. 5. Some cylindrical toys for men are hollow all the way through and very easy to clean just by running a wet cloth through the toy a few times. 6. Others have one end open but the other closed. These are harder to get completely clean. Caring for or cleaning sex toy

16. What are the products made of • Be wary of claims made about products • There have been no clinical studies • Always ask – get more information • If in doubt use a condom

17. Latex • Very common allergy • Found in condoms, gloves and sex toys • Look out for silicone products • Use non-latex condoms

18. Dyes and added perfume Some manufacturers use scent to disguise cheap rubber products Some have Phthalates (the more it smells of rubber the more it is likely to contain)

19. Adaption • Take a toy and change some aspect of it (build up a handle, change the switch, or attach the toy to something else) http://www.possum.co.uk/assistive2.html • Homemade adaptations -using grab bars, reachers, foam, tape, gloves, blue tac or velcro) • Find a toy intended for something else and see whether it suits the purpose • Remember the person using the toy and the person who may be assisting them

20. Be creative - consider: Buying a longer toy Buying a toy with a ring Buying a remote controlled toy

21. Psychological aspects • Packaging • Shape, size and colour • Triggers to past experiences

22. Can you tell what is happening in your body? You don’t necessarily need to be able to monitor your own body responses to use a sex toy, but if you have decreased sensation in parts that you aren’t able to directly see or touch, you may want to take that into consideration when choosing a sex toy.

23. Physical Aspects Mobility and motor control Fatigue Decreased sensation Increased sensation Privacy Allergies

24. Mobility and motor control • Does the toy need to be able to reach or bend? • Can the toy stay in place without being held? • How easy or hard are the controls to manipulate?

25. What is wanted from the toy? 1. What dexterity is there? 2. Where could it touch and is it reachable? 3. Can it be pressed against the body in addition to holding it? 4. Could the toy be manipulated for penetration?

26. Possible Solutions • A vibrator that uses straps to hold it in place • Remote control • Pillows – special furniture – wedges • Toys that can be strapped to the hand or within a glove • Vibrators inside a sponge and taped

27. Amount of movement required Long Flexible shafts – including reaching devices Dildo harnesses attached to a bed, chair or thigh Dildos with suction bases Love Swings

28. Fatigue • Weight • How far from the body would it be held? • What if it is dropped? • Can you position it to minimise fatigue safely?

29. Decreased sensation • Will it be enough but not too much • How well can it be controlled • Will someone be needed to check • Having reduced sensitivity doesn't have to mean reduced sexual response • It is easier to be injured with excessive pressure or rubbing without feeling it USE Lubrication!

30. Increased sensation • Make sure that the toy has a good range so that it can be turned down low • Toy materials may make a difference – hard or soft, rough or smooth • Muffling or diffusing may help

31. Education on use • Ensure that the toy is suitable for the cognitive ability of the client • They understand how and when to use it • That they are offered support

32. Where to buy them • Go inside a sex toy shop to have a look – great for a guide on the materials and vibration strength • Ask friends for advice • Make sure sex toy retailer can answer simple questions honestly • Shop around for a deal once a decision has been made

33. Know what you are getting for the money • How durable is it • Is there any return policy • Is it safe • What are its limitations • Noise levels

34. Safety • Correct use • Electricity – over heating or burns • Mobility • Damage to skin

35. Privacy • Noise • Use it by themselves • Minimise intrusion • Disposal of waste • Where will it be stored?

36. Summary • There are physical and psychological aspects to using and purchasing toys • They can be very useful and add a different dimension and aspect whether solo or in partnersex