DIVORCE & THE EFFECTS ON CHILDREN

1. DIVORCE & THE EFFECTS ON CHILDREN By, Taylor DePascale

2. Topic questions: • Do children of divorced parents have a lower rate of having a successful life? • Does divorce also change children's judgment on healthy relationships? • Are children of divorced parents more likely to end up divorced as well? • Does divorce have an affect on the children’s intimacy later in life?

3. Statistics on Divorce • The divorce rate shown peaked in the 1980’s and slowly decreased as it approaches the year 2000 • In the 1980’s, almost 4 million American couples with children are divorced(1987 Census Bureau statistics)

4. Data from student survey: Students whose parents are divorced showed a lower number of relationships than of those whose parents are together Students of divorced parents show that they have had shorter relationships They also stated that the relationships failed in their minds because one of the partners had trust issues or was not willing to open up to other

5. Children's behaviors associated with parent’s divorce: • Depression • Denial • Embarrassment • Anger • Regression • Guilt • Hyper maturity • Difficulty concentrating

6. All these traits can have a negative impact on children's relationships later on in life because… Children simply follow what they know/have learned from their own parents Children may develop psychological disorders, like depression that prevent them from having successful relationships They may also lack trust and security because they did not have it when they were younger

7. Do children of divorced parents have a lower rate of having a successful life? • Children of divorced parents, tend to not do as well in school and can even lack social experience • They also show higher drop out rates than children with parents who stay married • Past studies show that children in their age group also rate them as less enjoyable to be around (Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, Harvard University Press 1981) • Adolescent teens are also three times more likely to need psychological help within a the first year (Peter Hill, Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development, Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993)

8. Example: Emily’s parents have never really gotten along well, and ended up getting divorced when she was 10. She now lives with her mother and only sees her father during holidays. Her mother is forced to work two jobs to support her and her siblings and doesn’t spend a lot of time with her. Emily has begun to slack off in school because she has lost focus over the last few years and doesn’t see the point in it anymore. Her mother is too busy to help her when she needs it so she just gets further behind. Emily eventually drops out and gets her own job to help out her mother and support her siblings.

9. Are children of divorced parents doomed to be unsuccessful at their own relationships/marriages? Even though it may not be genetic, children learn to build relationships based on their environment This means that if a child is brought into an environment where the parents don’t get along and eventually divorce, the child is more likely to pick up the bad habits of the parents Children need to be in a loving, caring environment where both parents can demonstrate what a healthy relationship is

10. Example: Chris’s parents got divorced when he was 7. The few memories he remembers about involved arguing. Chris has close relationships with both his parents and looks up to them. Chris has never been in a relationship that lasts more than a few months, they usually never end well either. He tends to over react and constantly point out what his girlfriend does wrong. . Chris also gets jealous if his girlfriend talks to other guys and doesn’t trust her. This usually ends in an argument, which eventually ends the relationship.

11. Does divorce have an effect on the children’s intimacy later in life? For college students who have had a a lot of experience with parental conflict, the level of intimacy in their romantic relationships declined. These students also tended to be more cautious about intimacy in future relationships (Burgoyne & Hames, 2002; Ensign, Scherman, & Clark, 1998) Young adults with divorced parents tend to be very cautious of new people and are likely to over-analyze intimate situations, more than those whose parents are still married

12. References: Bruce, Matthew, Flora, Renae & Stacey, Christine. Divorce as it Influences the Intimate Relationships of College Students http://www.kon.org/urc/bruce.html Burgoyne & Hames, 2002; Ensign, Scherman, & Clark, 1998 Cherlin,Andrew J. Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, Harvard University Press 1981 Hill, Peter . Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development, Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993 Zimmerman , Jeffrey Ph.D., and Thayer, Elizabeth Ph.D., ADULT CHILDREN OF DIVORCE How to Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy Love, Trust, and Intimacy http://www.newharbinger.com/bookstore/client/client_images/NHpdfs//AdultChildren.pdf http://www.children-and-divorce.com/children-negative-effects-of-divorce.html