Grieving/Death

1. Grieving/Death “It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had. “

2. Elizabeth Kubler Ross • 1926-2004 • A volunteer after WWII in concentration camps specifically Maijdanek where she discovered the “butterflies” • Symbolized a transition between life and death • Wrote Death and Dying published in 1969 • May be required reading for many who work in medical, nursing or psychology programs.

3. Dignity and Respect • She challenged the medical profession to change their view towards death and treat the dying with dignity and respect. • She helped introduce concepts such as living wills, hospice care and home health care.

4. Criticisms • Everyone is a unique individual therefore reactions will be different for every person. • Stages or steps may in different order for some people. • Feelings may be ignored with the assumption “it is just a stage”.

5. The 5 stages of Death/Grief • Denial • Temporary reaction to knowing that one faces death. • Anger • Resentment and/or envy over impending death. • Bargaining • A defense mechanism for the purpose of postponing one’s imminent death. • Depression • A sadness and gloom take over as the patient’s dying has to be reckoned with. • Acceptance • The patient reaches acceptance of his/her imminent death after going through the other stages.

6. Living will • A legal document • Intended to spare people the indignity and cost of being kept alive when there is no hope for survival. • Avoids people from being put on life support when there is no chance of survival.

7. Euthanasia Means “good Death” Also is called “mercy killing” Illegal in most states.

8. Hospice A homelike place where dying people and their families are given emotional and physical support to cope with a mental illness. People have more control over their lives and can make better decisions concerning their health.

9. Mourning Process • Shock • One may deny that the death has occurred, collapse physically, violent emotional outbursts, or withdraw. • Intense Pain and Feelings of Loss • Two or three months after the death the bereaved person may withdraw from the world. • Resolution • One starts living a regular life again. Memories of the deceased bring joy and pleasure rather than the pain of grief.

10. Grief and Bereavement • Grief is a natural process to death and dying.  • It is a necessary response to helping heal from the overwhelming sense of loss when a loved one dies. • It is important to understand grief as part of the human experience.  If you are grieving, some things you can do to help yourself include:

11. Allow emotions • Seek comforting rituals • For some, seeking solace in the faith community • Reading and learning about death-related grief responses • Get enough rest • Journaling • Exercise and eat well • Talking to someone

12. My Life • 3 – FF to picture of camera. End when he says, “well this is me.” • 6 – Dr. explaining he won’t live long. End when Dr. says, “Don’t make it any more painful than it has to be.” • 21 – End when Gale says, “Oh, Mom.” • 24 – End when scene is over, “We all are” said by Father. • 26 – End at end of roller coaster ride, seeing light.

13. Step Mom • 16 – Kids told of mother’s cancer. End when Anna runs upstairs. • 27 – How each child reacts differently to death. End after the second child’s gift and talking.