“We need to talk…” about having those difficult conversations

1. “We need to talk…” about having those difficult conversations Cassie Delaney Cathcart-Pola Chelsea Titus

2. Who we are • Cassie Delaney Cathcart-Pola • @cathcart_cassie • Cdc222@txstate.edu • Chelsea Titus • @chelseatitus • Chelseatitus@txstate.edu

3. What is a difficult conversation? • A conversation which has the potential to elicit strong emotions, these can include: • Controversial topics • Hardships • Constructive criticism • Insensitivity towards others • Policy violations • Intentional conversations (beyond surface-level conversation)

4. ...sound familiar? • Even when we know the importance of these conversations, we still avoid them.  • Think back to your last difficult conversation…did any of these thoughts run through your mind? • I'll address it if I see it again...  • I'll see if someone else can talk to them • If this conversation doesn’t go well, the results could have a negative impact on me • The other person will probably be emotional, and I try to avoid emotions

5. What does TXST do? • Roommate agreements • 1:1 coaching discussion w/RD and RA  • Intentional resident conversations • RA Training in Summer and Winter • Facilitated discussions on "hot" topics lead by campus partners  • Lead large and small-scale events

6. Let's discuss... the Crucial Conversations Model • The Crucial Conversations Model discussed in 2 minutes "A crucial conversation is a discussion between two or more people where the stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong." • Model created by: Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Swizler​ • ​

7. Seven Essential Steps • Start with the Heart  • Stay in Dialogue • Make it Safe • Don't get Hooked by Emotion • Agree on a Mutual Purpose • Separate Facts from Story • Agree on a Clear Action Plan

8. What does using the Crucial Conversation Model teach? 

9. How do we prepare RAs for these Conversations?

10. Food for Thought • Look at your institution... • How do you currently teach student staff members about difficult conversations? • What are the strengths and areas for improvement with your current methods? • What are the trends around conflict and difficult conversations that already exist? • Think about national trends... • Who are our incoming residents? • What skill sets do they already possess when it comes to difficult conversations? • What skill sets still need to be developed? • How can our Para-Professional staff members contribute to their own learning and their residents learning around difficult conversations?  • Why does the ability to hold difficult conversations matter? • Who are your campus partners and how can they assist you in teaching this?

11. Think/Pair/Share

12. References   • Arnold, P. (2013). Summary of Crucial conversations – Tools for talking when the stakes are high. Retrieved from https://slooowdown.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/summary-of-crucial-conversations-tools-for-talking-when-the-stakes-are-high-by-kerry-patterson-joseph-grenny-ron-mcmillan-and-al-swizler/ • Patterson, K. (Eds.) (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high, New York : McGraw-Hill. • VitalSmarts. (2017). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. Retrieved from  file:///C:/Users/cet65/Downloads/Crucial-Conversations-Overview%20(1).pdf

13. THANK YOU

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