Session 8

1. Session 8 Courtesy Considerateness

2. Courtesy

3. Courtesy Courtesy is making the other person feel important. • Be honest but tactful. • Your letter is not clear at all; I can’t understand it. Murphy and Hildebrandt, Effective Business Communications.

4. Courtesy • Prefer expressions that are pleasant or courteous. Avoid expressions that might offend the reader. • You are delinquent. Murphy and Hildebrandt, Effective Business Communications.

5. Courtesy • Grant and apologize good-naturedly. • Your order for a customized driver’s seat means that we will have to work overtime and design the seat from scratch. But we’ll do it anyway because you are a valued customer.

6. Learn the Art of Refusing • Sequence ideas so that the positive are highlighted first. • Start with a common point of agreement. • Empathize with the recipient. Imagine how you would feel if you were to receive the letter or memo that you’re writing.

7. Focus on the rationale of “no.” Show the benefits of this to the receiver. • Indicate what you have done, what you can do, what you are doing, and what you will do.

8. Softening a Negative Message • State what you can do instead of what you cannot do. • We cannot set up a meeting before May 15.

9. Replace words that carry strong negative connotations. • If you have any problem, please call me. • You sent the wrong form.

10. Afraid Anxious Bad Delinquent Ignorant Impossible Never No Problem Reject Terrible Unfair Unpleasant Unreliable Unsure Negative Words to Avoid

11. bribery calamity discrimination exorbitant gullible high-pressure tactics incompetent insane lazy senile suspicious unbelievable unfair unheard of Words to use with caution

12. Letters of Complaint • Put it in writing courteously. • Make your letter or memo simple and firm. • Problem • Cost • Solution • State the facts. • Assume goodwill on the part of the organization.

13. Responding to Letters of Complaint • Acknowledge. • Explain. • Apologize and reassure.

14. Considerateness

15. Considerateness • Considerateness is being human. • Prepare every message with the recipient in mind. • Put yourself in his or her place. • Foster a YOU attitude. • Empathy • Human touch • Understanding human nature

16. The You Attitude • Effective writers make the audience believe that the most important person in their correspondence - in their business relationship - is "you," the reader. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

17. The You Attitude is a style of writing that: • Looks at things from the reader’s point of view; • Shows reader benefit and emphasizes what the reader wants to know; • Focuses on the positive; • Protects the reader's ego; http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

18. The You Attitude is a style of writing that: • Expresses appreciation for readers; • Applies psychology to humanize messages; and • Uses correct etiquette in all communication media. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

19. Focus on Reader's Point of View • Focus on what the reader receives or can do, not on what we've done. Don't completely avoid "I" or "we." Just de-emphasize it. • We shipped your order today. • Your order will arrive on Thursday. • You will receive your order on Thursday. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

20. Our shelter provides 100 adults' beds and 50 children's beds for the needy. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

21. Emphasize the Positive • When we emphasize the positive, we convince the reader we know what we're doing and are goal-oriented. • When we emphasize the negative, we sound unsure and indecisive. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

22. Not:It will be impossible to open an account for you until you send us your signature card. But: http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

23. Protect the Reader's Ego • Avoid "you" when it criticizes the reader. Instead, use an impersonal expression or a passive verb to avoid assigning blame. • Don't focus on the problem; focus on solving the problem. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

24. You failed to sign your check. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

25. Express Appreciation • Avoid calling your readers stupid (even if done unintentionally) • If you had read the instruction booklet… • You are probably ignorant of the fact that… • Avoid suggesting that they are lying (even if you don't say so directly) • You claim that you returned the item. • According to you, the item stopped working. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

26. Avoid indicating that they are complainers. • You complain that.... • We have received your complaint describing… • Avoid blaming them. • Obviously you overlooked... • You forgot to… • You failed to... • You neglected to... http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

27. 5. Avoid issuing ultimatums. • This will be the last memo sent on this subject. Anyone dressing inappropriately faces immediate disciplinary action! • Either comply with the regulations or face the consequences! http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/ principles/youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

28. Use Correct Etiquette • Answer your messages – e-mail, letters, and phone calls – promptly. • Leave clear messages on answering machines and voice mail. • State whom you are calling, your first and last names, your company and title, the reason for your call, and your phone number. • Keep your message brief. • Speak slowly. • Deliver bad news personally. • Follow up on important messages to make sure they were received. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/principles/ youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

29. E-mail Etiquette • Respect other people's electronic space by sending messages only when necessary. • Make your subject line informative. • Avoid overusing the label "urgent.” • Use short paragraphs. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/principles/ youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

30. E-mail Etiquette • Refrain from using all capital letters, which is the equivalent of shouting. • Quote a previous e-mail when responding to questions or requests. • Proofread every message. • Be careful about using the "reply all" button. • Check your e-mail often. • Clean out your e-mailbox regularly. http://emedia.leeward.hawaii.edu/hurley/eng209w/principles/ youattitude/youattitude.htm#etiq

31. Using Sensitive Language www.randomhouse.com/words/language/avoid_guide.html

33. Sexism Avoid using “man” or “men” and “he” or “his” to refer to people of either sex.

34. Sexism Use gender-neutral terms for occupations, positions, and roles. • layman • mailman • policeman • salesgirl • spokesman • weatherman • actress • housewife Avoid: • anchorman • bellboy • chairman • cleaning lady • clergyman • congressman • fireman • forefather • girl/gal Friday

35. Sexism Replace “he.” When a driver approaches a red light, he must prepare to stop.

36. Race, Ethnicity, and National Origin Avoid: • Indian • Oriental • colored • native

37. Age Avoid: • elderly • aged • geriatric

38. Sexual Orientation Avoid: • queer • dyke • fairy

39. Persons with Disabilities or Illnesses Avoid: • Mongoloid • polio victim • deaf and dumb

40. Patronizing or Demeaning Expressions Avoid: • the fair sex • sweetie • dear • dearie • honey • boy (when referring to or addressing an adult man)

41. Expressions that Emphasize Differences Include references to age, sex, religion, race, and the like only if they are relevant. Avoid: • the male nurse • Marie Curie, a great woman scientist. • secretary and her boss

42. Exercise • You have created a problem. • I am sorry that I am unable to help you. • At our grand opening, we're cutting prices by 50%! • You lack the credit references we require for opening an account with us. • A good secretary can anticipate the needs of her boss, even if he does not say anything. • Because you failed to pay your bill, your account is delinquent. • Niggers are the largest minority in the United States.