In the name of Allah

1. In the name of Allah

2. Scientific & Technical Presentation Leila Sharif Sharif University of Technology E-Mail: l_sharif@sharif.edu http://ce.sharif.edu/courses/84-85/1/ce221/

3. The Craft of Editing Editing isn’t a cosmetic process. It’s a thinking process. Richard Rhodes, author Making of the Atomic Bomb

4. Although editing is a large subject, we will focus on the editing that occurs in the sign-off process Editing documents: Reviewing Line editing Online editing Proofreading Reducing friction: Actions by authors Actions by editors

5. Before editing someone’s document,you should first consider your constraints Audience of Document Format of Document Process to Publish Document Formality of Document Other Editors of Document Politics and Ethics

6. Three aspects of the writing affect the way that editors assess documents Content Style Form

7. Is the content appropriate? Is the content correct? Is the content complete? Editing for content involves deciding what message to send

8. Focus on language Focus on structure Focus on illustration Editing for style involves deciding how to communicate the message

9. Editing for form concerns whether the communication is properly presented Focus on punctuation Focus on grammar Focus on usage Focus on format Focus on spelling

10. Difficulty of Change Importance of Change Consistency of Change Disposition of Writer What variables determine how much change you make?

11. consistency hierarchy clarity effect effect effect affect most important deletee e next most important least important A well-done edit has three characteristics: clarity, consistency, and hierarchy

12. devised for sentence too long This construction / #the au* *au: are you implying that Chem E contaminated the soil? One convention is to circle comments,but not added words or letters Last year, city engineers came up with a plan to address the tetrachloroethane-contaminated soil required to be excavated for planned thoroughfare constructionthat will occur within right-of-way adjacent to Building 1817, which houses the Genetics Laboratory.

13. Editors Identifying pet peeves Negotiating gray areas Establishing boundaries Controlling tone Understanding authors Reducing the friction between editors and authors calls for action on both sides Authors Identifying constraints Submitting outlines early Allotting time for editors Mulling over criticisms

14. When editing someone’s writing, consider tone Editor Edit one another as you would wish to be edited Lead with the positive Author

15. Structure of a Scientific Document

16. Structure: the Strategy of Style If a man can group his ideas, then he is a writer.Robert Louis Stevenson Ending Middle Beginning

17. The organization of a scientific document can be viewed as a beginning, middle, and ending Conclusions Back Matter Ending Middle Sections Middle Title Summary Introduction Beginning

18. orients readers to document Title tells readers what happens in document Summary prepares readers for the middle Introduction Beginnings prepare readers for understanding the work

19. Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Electron Avalanches in Electrical Gas Discharges A strong title orients readers to your area of work Effects of Humidity on the Growth of Avalanches

20. Effects of Rhodamine-B on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper A strong title also separates your work from everyone else's work Studies on the Electrodeposition of Lead on Copper

21. Several names for summaries exist Summary Technical Abstract Informative Abstract Abstract Descriptive Abstract Executive Summary

22. This paper describes a new inertial navigation system that will increase the mapping accuracy of oil wells by a factor of ten. The new system uses three-axis navigation that protects sensors from high-spin rates. The system also processes its information by Kalman filtering (a statistical sampling technique) in an on-site computer. Test results show the three-dimensional location accuracy is within 0.1 meters for every 100 meters of well depth, an accuracy ten times greater than conventional systems. Informative Although several names exist for summaries, there are essentially two approaches This paper describes a new inertial navigation system for mapping oil and gas wells. In this paper, we will compare the mapping accuracy and speed for this new system against the accuracy and speed for conventional systems. Descriptive

23. A document's introduction prepares readers for the discussion Topic? Importance? Background? Arrangement? Introduction

24. Medical histories not considered Women may not experience the same effects Other effects, such as exercise, not considered The introduction defines the scopeand limitations of the work scope Proposed Study on Effects of Alcohol on Life Expectancy Ten-year study Three classes of drinkers: non-drinkers moderate drinkers heavy drinkers Men surveyed limitations

25. A strong introduction tells readers why the research is important This paper presents a design for a platinum catalytic igniter in hydrogen-air mixtures. This igniter has application in nuclear reactors. One danger at a nuclear reactor is a loss-of-coolant accident. Such an accident can produce large quantities of hydrogen gas when hot water and steam react with zirconium fuel rods. In a serious accident, the evolution of hydrogen may be so rapid that it produces an explosive hydrogen-air mixture in the reactor containment building. This mixture could breach the containment walls and allow radiation to escape. Our method to eliminate this danger is to intentionally ignite the hydrogen-air mixture at concentrations below those for which any serious damage might result. importance

26. [Sandia, 1985] In the middle of a report, you present your work Make sections and subsections Choose a logical strategy Heading Subheading Subheading Heading Subheading Subheading Subheading Heading

27. Chronological [Maizels, 2001] Spatial [Pratt & Whitney, 2000] Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports

28. Parallel Parts Flow Corel Corporation [Sandia, 1985] Common strategies exist for the middles of scientific reports

29. Parallel Descriptive Introduction Past Designs for Particle Beam Fusion New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Forming Line Pulse Generating Particle Beam Transporting Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets Results of New Design Conclusions and Recommendations Section headings should be descriptive and parallel Non-Parallel Non-Descriptive Introduction Background Marx Generators Line Pulse Beam Generation Transporting Beam Pellets Results Conclusions

30. When you divide a section into subsections, all the pieces should be of the same pie New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Generating Particle Beam Irradiating Deuterium-Tritium Pellets New Design for Particle Beam Fusion Charging Marx Generators Generating Particle Beam Pellets

31. Organization is hidden when headings occur in a long list without secondary headings Performance of the Solar One Receiver Introduction Receiver’s Efficiency Steady State Efficiency Average Efficiency Receiver’s Operation Cycle Start-Up Time Operation Time Operation During Cloud Transients Receiver’s Mechanical Wear Panel Mechanical Supports Tube Leaks Conclusion Performance of the Solar One Receiver Introduction Steady State Efficiency Average Efficiency Start-Up Time Operation Time Operation During Cloud Transients Panel Mechanical Supports Tube Leaks Conclusion

32. Materials and Methods Discussion Results Many journal articles follow a set organization named IMRaD Introduction

33. In a strong ending, you analyze resultsand give a future perspective Conclusions Analyze results from overall perspective Analysis of Results Future Perspective Several options: Make recommendations Discuss future work Repeat limitations

34. Use appendices to supply backgroundfor secondary audiences Appendix A Concern About the Greenhouse Effect For almost a hundred years, experts have been concerned with the increasing concentrations of gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrogen oxides in the earth's lower atmosphere. These gases are natural by-products of combustion. Figure A-1 illustrates the correlation between global temperature and carbon dioxide concentrations...

35. Use appendices to supply secondary or tangential information to primary readers Appendix B Project Stormfury In 1961, the United States Weather Bureau and the Department of Defense (Navy) began a project to reduce the strength of hurricanes. The project, called Project Stormfury, uses cloud seeding, a process used to produce rainfall and reduce hail in thunderstorms. In Project Stormfury, silver iodide crystals, similar in structure to ice, are dispersed by airplanes in the upper reaches of cloud formations just outside the hurricane's eye where the winds are highest. Initial results showed that wind speeds decreased between 15–30% after seedings...

36. For secondary readers, use a glossary to define unfamiliar terms Glossary burst point: the exact point in space where an atomic bomb is detonated. clear visibility: a viewing range of twenty miles. fallout: the descent to the Earth's surface of radioactive particles from a cloud contaminated with the fission products of a nuclear explosion. hypocenter: the point on the earth's surface directly below the burst point; also called ground zero.

37. [Luzzati, 1950] Watson did not give enough credit to Franklin Failing to cite the contribution of others can be a fatal flaw in your career [Franklin, 1952] James Watson surreptitiously looked at Rosalind Franklin’s work

38. Illustrations

39. Illustration:The Meshing of Words With Images Keep it as simple as possible, yet no simpler. Albert Einstein X-ray photograph of DNA [Rosalind Franklin, 1952]

40. Pressurizer Date Time Power Level 4/25 1:00 am 3200 MW 4/25 2:00 pm 1600 MW 4/25 11:10 pm 1600 MW 4/26 1:00 am 30 MW 4/26 1:19 am 200 MW 4/26 1:23 am 2,000,000 MW Coolant Loss Reactor Vessel Steam Generator Core Figure 1. Simplified diagram of nuclear reactor [Wolfson, 1991]. Two types of illustrations exist: tables and figures Table 1. Reactor power levels in Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991].

41. Tables can present words as well as numbers Table 2. Sequence of events in the Chernobyl accident [Wolfson, 1991]. Date Time Power Level Event April 25 April 25 April 25 April 26 April 26 April 26 1:00 a.m. 2:00 p.m. 11:10 p.m. 1:00 a.m. 1:19 a.m. 1:23 a.m. 3200 MW 1600 MW 1600 MW 30 MW 200 MW 2,000,000 MW Operators begin power descent Power descent delayed for 9 hours Emergency core-cooling system disconnected Operators switch off automatic control Power descent resumed Power minimum reached Operators pull rods beyond allowable limits Operators start two additional coolant pumps Operators violate coolant flow limits Power surges by factor of 10,000 in 5 seconds

42. Table 2. Blood glucose levels [Carlson, 1982]. Breakfast 300 250 200 150 100 50 0 Dinner Lunch Diabetic Blood Glucose Level (mg/dl) Normal (mg/dl*) 100.3 93.6 88.2 100.5 138.6 102.4 93.8 132.3 103.8 93.6 127.8 109.2 Diabetic (mg/dl) 175.8 165.7 159.4 72.1 271.0 224.6 161.8 242.7 219.4 152.6 227.1 221.3 Time (hour) midnight 2:00 4:00 6:00 8:00 10:00 noon 2:00 4:00 6:00 8:00 10:00 Normal 12:00 6:00 am 12:00 6:00 pm 12:00 Hour * decaliters/milligram Figure 11. Blood glucose levels for normal individual and diabetic [Carlson, 1982]. When presenting numerical data, you choose between tables and graphs

43. 2000 1500 1000 500 0 Experiment Simulation 0 2 4 6 8 10 Line graphs are common in engineering and science Temperature (K) Distance From Burner (mm) Figure 3. Computational and experimental temperatures for laminar diffusion flames [Sandia, 1987].

44. Bar graphs compare wholes 30 Normal range 20 7-10 Cells% 10 112–175 211–366 Flight Duration (Days) Figure 4. Response of T-cells in cosmonauts after short-term and long-term flights [Konstantinova, 1991].

45. Task 1979 1981 1983 1985 1987 1989 Construction Test and Evaluation Power Production Figure 5. Schedule for the construction, evaluation, and production phases of the Solar One Power Plant. Gantt charts are a type of bar charts

46. Pie graphs compare parts of a whole P o w e r R e a c t o r Medical and research wastes (16%) I n d u s t r i a l M e d i c a l Industrial wastes (28%) G o v e r n m e n t Government wastes (2%) Power reactor wastes (64%) Figure 5. Volume of low-level nuclear wastes from various sources [League, 1985].

47. Natural Sources 85 mrem Medical Sources 70 mrem { Average dose: 160 mrem Fallout: < 3mrem Occupational: < 1mrem Nuclear power: < 1mrem Figure 6. Estimated annual dose of radiation in the United States [GPU Nuclear, 1985]. Graphs come in many forms

48. 4 1 Combustor 3 2 Compressor Turbine When presenting images, you choose between photographs, drawings, and diagrams

49. The main advantage of photographs is realism 60 seconds 59.5 seconds 59 seconds Figure 2. Space Shuttle Challenger, from about 59 seconds to 60 seconds into launch (January 28, 1986). On the right rocket, flame first becomes visible and then impinges on tank.

50. Combustor Simulator Turbine Vanes Secondary Flow Dilution Jet Primary Flow Secondary Flow Film-Cooling Holes One advantage of drawings is control of detail Figure 5. Wind tunnel experiment at Virginia Tech for evaluating film-cooling designs for the blades of gas turbine engines [Thole and others, 2000].