Dating & sex

1. Dating & sex Prerequisites and boundaries

2. God created man, women, & sex • Genesis 1 -2: God created man, woman and said it is Good • God said – the man and women are to join together and become as one unit • This is what the bible terms covenant – god’s view – sex equals a marriage covenant • Together they represent the full character of god – maleness and females together • Also they represent the relationship of the church and Christ

3. Intro: Foundation of trust God’s heart toward you - Jeremiah 31:3 – I have loved you with an everlasting love. Psalms 84:11 – I provide good things for my children. Jeremiah 29:11 – i have good plans for your life, trust me. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all your heart do not rely on your own insight (secular thinking: Judges 17:6 - each one did what was right in their own eyes)

4. Prerequisite 1 : be the right person Major life decisions • 1) who or what will be my god ? Lord and master. Luke 9:23 • 2) what will be my contribution to god’s world - career ? 1 peter 4:10 • 3) who will be my mate / companion through life/ husband or wife? Ephesians 5:29-32 • These 3 big decisions will guide the course of your life & potential to glorify god!!

5. Prerequisite 2 : god’s priorities Matthew 22: 36-40 • 1) love god • 2) love yourself • 3) Love others relationships

6. 1) Knowing and loving god • Are you growing in knowing and loving god? Or captured by other idols? • Priority - Seeking first his person and building his kingdom – Matthew 6:33 • Valuing knowing Jesus above all other pursuits – Philippians 3:8 • Staying devoted to Jesus – 2 Corinthians 11:3

7. 2) a Healthy self love • Are you developing a healthy self love / self care? Deut. 33;12 ( beloved – god’s heart) • Physically – 3 john 1:2 • Mentally – Philippians 4:8 • Emotionally – Philippians 4:6-7 • Spiritually – psalms 46:10

8. 3) Loving heart toward others • Are you developing healthy relationships with others: men and women – 1 tim. 5:1-2 • Winning an Oscar !! • Men – you are to treat all young women in the world as your sisters • Women – you are to treat all young men in the world as your brothers • You will only have one in your life you will love romantically !! Don’t make romance an idol!!

9. summary • dATING AND MARRIAGE THRIVE WHEN 2 HEALTHY PEOPLE ARE ABLE TO GENUINELY LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY (AS GOD DOES), • WITHOUT THE EXPECTATION THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS GOING TO MEET ALL YOUR NEEDS.

10. PREREQUISITE 3: TIMING • God has the right timing for each person. • Be willing to pursue personal growth until he clearly leads you into a relationship. • Scott’s story

11. Boundaries for healthy dating • foundational principles • Spirit led and empowered 2 Tim 1:7 • Wise and self disciplined 1 Peter 5:8

12. 1) Never date a person that you would say “ I would never marry _____, but it is fun to date them. • Non- Christian god • Immature or unhealthy believer • New babe in Christ who does not have jesus as their first love Guy gal

13. 2) Communicate a clear purpose • Friendship: I want to hang out as a brother or sister for coffee as friends • Get to know: I’m interested to know you better and would like to see if we can date • Serious interest: I have been attracted to you for some time & want to see if you are open to a serious dating relationship seeing if it might be of God for us to be together

14. 3) Set time boundaries • How often to text, talk, go on a date • How long of a date, never stay out too late, you are more likely to let your guard down • Too close, too soon – easy to move too fast emotionally and physically • Don’t let this person become your whole world

15. 4) Get an accountability partner • Be open about your interest as soon as possible before dating – don’t hide!! • Ask for advise from a trusted mentor, leader – am I ready, are they ready? • Meet regularly to keep accountable with the progress of the relationship • If god is leading toward a serious commitment get someone who can meet with both of you.

16. 5) A healthy mindset • “As a man thinks in his heart, so will he be” proverbs 23:7 • Set your mind on seeking to walk in purity of thought and motive – Phil 4:8 • Psalms 119:9,11 – memorize and meditate on truth • Focus conversation on getting to know person: life vision, interests, background

17. 6) Guard your heart • Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of LIFE – Prov. 4:23 • Protect your heart and emotions from getting ahead of where you need to be • Don’t give your heart away too fast – assume where the relationship is going • As jesus often to search your heart and motives to stay pure – Psalms 139:23-24 • Never say “I love you until you are clear you are ready to propose marriage.

18. 7) Body boundaries • Perspective: my body is a temple of the holy spirit 1 Cor. 6:19-20 • Guide: any form of tough that brings arouses your date sexually is too much! • Ephesians 5:3 – not even a hint of sexual immorality among you! • Never give into someone saying, “if you love me you would let me!” • 2 tim. 2:22 – flee / run from youthful lusts, and pursue right living, faith, love, peace

19. 8) Location, location, location • Always stay in public places on your date • Never sit in a parked car for an extended period of time • Never go into the dates bedroom

20. Summary • God has your best in mind – always surrender to his will and wisdom • Gen 1:27 – you are created to bear god’s image and bring him glory • Walk in accountability with a leader or older mentor