Writing Module One Clear Narrative, “Characters,” and “Actions

1. Writing Module OneClear Narrative, “Characters,” and “Actions An Introduction to The Craft of Argument, by Joseph M. Williams and Gregory Colomb The Cain Project in Engineering and Professional Communication SPRING 2008 WORKSHOP SERIES

2. Three Modules On Clear Writing: Common Objectives • Introduce Little Red Schoolhouse (LRS) method • Review key LRS topics and terminology: concepts of “characters” and “actions” • Examine one aspect of the writing and editing process more closely, working through selected examples

3. The Little Red Schoolhouse • Began at the University of Chicago • Developed by Joe Williams, Greg Colomb, Frank Kinahan, and Peter Blaney • Adopted and adapted at, among others, the University of Chicago, Duke University, the University of Illinois, the University of Virginia, and the Georgia Institute of Technology • Formulates practical solutions to common difficulties of writing experienced by students across disciplines

4. LRS Helps Writers • Recognize and solve common problems • Achieve better writing through better reading and revision • Gain increased awareness of what makes their writing readable and EFFECTIVE

5. Writing For The Reader • As readers, we respond to writing that is clear, direct, and coherent. • As writers, we need to learn how to reproduce these qualities in our own work.

6. Talking About Style • Sometimes we lack the vocabulary for talking about writing with our peers, editors, and collaborators. • Learning ways to talk about good writing simplifies the composition, editing and review processes.

7. My introductions ramble My paragraphs lack structure My audiences never seem convinced Focus on topic sentences Learn to use transition sentences Increase authority with well-chosen evidence and acknowledgement and response See And Solve Problems

8. Module One: Agenda • Understand the Importance of Story • Introduce Characters and Actions • Name the Problem: Nominalizations

9. Storytelling Is Fundamental From a very early age, we instinctively seek out key information in narratives: • Who is this about? • What is he or she doing? • Why?

10. All Sentences Tell Stories • Format and details vary, but professional and academic narratives all tell stories. • Our expectations for information and action in each operate in similar ways. • We look for clear subjects as our new “characters.” • We look for strong verbs as our new “actions.”

11. Stories Work Through Structure • We understand a story better when we can easily recognize Characters and Actions • Until we know what is happening and to whom, we are likely to feel lost. • Story structure is apparent on both the sentence and the paragraph level.

12. Inadequate Storytelling • Takes a long time to convey a sense of what’s being described or explained • Doesn’t make the problem clear • Doesn’t give readers reasons to be invested in reading • Doesn’t offer a solution to the problems it dramatizes for the reader

13. Predictable Structure • Readers find classic narrative easy to understand because it satisfies certain fundamental expectations. • If asked to retell a fairy tale, even very young children can tell us “who,” “what,” and even “why.” • Complex professional prose can be this clear if it follows a few key principles.

14. Story And Professional Prose • Some of the same reasons we might cite for enjoying a movie or a novel also hold true for a scientific report or a legal argument. • We are motivated to read, and feel we understand the point of an argument when we quickly grasp: • Who is concerned, and • What is at stake.

15. Consider This Poor Example: The suggestion of recent evidence has been a role for nanobacteria in a growing number of human diseases, including renal stone formation, cardiovascular diseases, and cancer. Promoted by this large body of research studies is the view that nanobacteria are not only alive but that they are associated with disease pathogenesis. (Adapted from Martel, J., and Young, J., 5549)

16. Contrast With… “Recent evidencesuggestsa role for nanobacteria in a growing number of human diseases, including renal stone formation, cardiovascular diseases, and cancer. This large body of research studiespromotesthe view that nanobacteria are not only alive but that they are associated with disease pathogenesis.” (Published in Martel, J., and Young, J., 5549)

17. Notice how the published sentences Lead with a clear subject Follow immediately with a descriptive verb. Character: Recent evidence Action: suggests Character: This large body of research studies Action: promotes We know the main characters and actions RIGHT AWAY. Simple Improvements

18. Module One: Agenda • Understand the Importance of Story • Introduce Characters and Actions • Name the Problem: Nominalizations

19. Craft of Argument Key Terms:Characters And Actions • We understand narrative best when it is easy to identify the important characters and actions • The Character is the main subject or “doer” in your sentence (but it is not always a person) • The Action is the thing done. Usually, the action is the verb, but frequently we bury the most important action in nominalizations • To make it easy for readers to understand your writing • Match important actions to VERBS • Make important characters into SIMPLE SUBJECTS

20. Crucial Alignments: Actions And Verbs Instead of: Our loss of funding prevented continuation of the research program. Write: Because welost funding, we could not continue the research program. In the first sentence, “loss” and “continuation” are used as nouns instead of describing the main character’s action through the more powerful noun+ verb pairings “we lost” and “we could not continue.”

21. Choose Concrete Characters Over Abstract For example: Shifts in position in recent decades in three bands of fast-moving wind known as jet streams were revealed by a new analysis of weather data that were collected between 1979 and 2001. (Adapted from “Atmospheric science: Jetting away.”) Noun= Shifts in position Verb=were revealed

22. And A Simple Revision “Three bands of fast-moving wind — known as jet streams — have shifted position in recent decades, according to a new analysis of weather data that were collected between 1979 and 2001.” (Published in “Atmospheric science: Jetting away.”)  Notice how the important subjects and verbs a)appear early,and b)occur close to each other.

23. Structure Of The Sentence • Readers expect a certain sentence structure • By fulfilling their expectations, we streamline their ability to process the important pieces of information provided by our writing

24. Experiment For Impact • What if it isn’t immediately clear what your MAIN subject should be? • Ask yourself what the most important action of the sentence really is… what do you want to emphasize? • Make sure that the verb in your sentence describes the action of that subject/character.

25. When You Put Character First… • You introduce readers to the main actors in the drama they need to follow. • You create a context in which the reader can understand what you will go on to say.

26. On Characters And Actions In an ideal world: • CHARACTER=SUBJECT • ACTION=VERB • Why is this so important?

27. Negative Effects Of Mis-match • Readers find your writing indirect, abstract, complex, dense, or unclear • Readers have to work overtime to formulate your story into a narrative that they can remember • Readers have to fill gaps in the story with their own knowledge or imaginations • Readers are more likely to misinterpret your sentences and meanings.

28. Clear Sentences Easy-to-understand sentences are not the product of some subtle mystery. We prefer them because we can recognize their key information: • “As John [character] remarked [action] earlier...” • “As Mary [character] argued [action] … ” • “As our results [character] demonstrate [action]… ”

29. Solve The Problem • If your characters do not correspond to your main subject/noun • If your actions do not correspond to your main verb… THE FIRST STEP IS TO LOCATE THEM!

30. Diagnosis And Revision • As Joseph Williams explains in Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace, to transform characters into subjects, you have to know three things: • When you haven’t • Where to look (for characters) • What to do when you find them (or don’t!)

31. Williams’ System For Finding And Relocating Characters • Skim the first seven or eight words • Identify the main characters • Locate actions involving those characters • Organize your new subjects and verbs into a sentence using conjunctions such as if, although, because, when, how, and why

32. Step One: Skim the first seven or eight words. The introduction of a novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator enables the study of thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. Development of thermal convection at its equator is noted in the soap bubble, which is subject to stratification. (Adapted from Seychelles, F.,Amarouchene, Y., Bessafi, M. and Kellay, H.)

33. Step Two: Identify the main characters The introduction of a novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator enables the study of thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. Development of thermal convection at its equator is noted in the soap bubble, which is subject to stratification.

34. Step Three: Locate actions involving those characters The introduction of a novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator enables the study of thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. Development of thermal convection at its equator is noted in the soap bubble, which is subject to stratification. The main characters are buried among other nouns and hard to identify.

35. Step Four: Organize your new subjects and verbs so that the actions are expressed in verbs Introductionbecomesto introduce Development becomesto develop

36. In The Published Version: The main characters appear early and are described by the main verbs. “A novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator is introduced to study thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. The soap bubble, subject to stratification, developsthermal convection at its equator.” (Published in Seychelles, F.,Amarouchene, Y., Bessafi, M. and Kellay, H.)

37. Module One: Agenda • Understand the Importance of Story • Introduce Characters and Actions • Name the Problem: Nominalizations

38. What Are Nominalizations? • Nominalizations are abstract nouns that are derived from either VERBS or ADJECTIVES. • They frequently have endings like -tion, -ment, or -ence. • Examples include calculation (from calculate), finding (from find), and dependent (from depend).

39. Are All Nominalizations Bad? No, but nominalizations frequently diminish the power of your narrative by obscuring the most important characters and actions of your story. LRS focuses on nominalizations (and their impact on characters and actions) because they directly influence how readers perceive the information and the arguments you present.

40. PREDICT  TOLERATE  CALCULATE  Prediction Tolerance Calculation Verb  Nominalization

41. PRODUCTIVE  MALLEABLE  RESILIENT  Productivity Malleability Resiliency Adjective  Nominalization

42. Sample How quickly can you identify characters and actions on the next slide? What makes it easy or difficult?

43. Analyze Character And Action There is disagreement among many experts about the utility of emissions cap-and-trade policies.

44. Easier To Understand Experts[important character/ “doer”]disagree[important verb] about whether emissions cap-and-trade policies[second important character]are useful [a verb and an adjective replace the nominalization “utility”].

45. Recognize And Evaluate You can take a nominalization like: Our REQUEST [noun/nominalization]is[weaker verb] that you analyze the data. And change it to: We[subject/character]request [stronger verb] that you analyze the data.

46. Review: Character And Action To make sentences clear and easy to understand, align the main character and action with the main subject and verb.

47. The Moral • Make sure readers get the story! Characters and actions should • Occur early in the sentence, and • Correspond with the main subject and verb. • Target and eliminate nominalizations to ensure precise, descriptive verbs. • Highlight characters and actions to add impact and increase understanding.

48. Examples Taken Or Adapted From: • “Atmospheric science: Jetting away.” Nature 453. 7191 (2008): 5-5. Web of Science. University of Virginia, Charlottesville, VA. 6 May 2008 http://www.isiwebofknowledge.com. • Martel, J. and Young, John D. “From the Cover: Purported Nanobacteria in Human Blood as Calcium Carbonate Nanoparticles.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 105.14 (2008): 5549-5554. Web of Science. University of Virginia, Charlottesville, VA. 6 May 2008 http://www.isiwebofknowledge.com. • Seychelles, F., Amarouchene, Y., Bessafi, M., and Kellay, H. “Thermal Convection and Emergence of Isolated Vortices in Soap Bubbles.” Physical Review Letters 100. 14 (2008). Web of Science. University of Virginia, Charlottesville, VA. 6 May 2008 http://www.isiwebofknowledge.com. • Williams, J. (2005). Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. (8th ed.). New York: Pearson. • Williams, J., Colomb, G. (2003). The Craft of Argument. (Concise ed.). New York: Addison Wesley Longman, Inc.

49. Lead through Excellence In Engineering Communication • More resources are available for you • under “Engineering Communication” at Connexions at http://cnx.org • at the Cain Project site at http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~cainproj • in your course Communication Folder in OWLSPACE.

50. Little Red Schoolhouse: Further Reading Comprehensive instruction in the LRS approach is available in the many editions of the following texts: The Craft of Argument, by Joseph M. Williams and Gregory Colomb Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace, by Joseph M. Williams The Craft of Research by Wayne Booth, Gregory G. Colomb, and Joseph M. Williams