Ch 10

1. Ch 10 Listening

2. Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. Joyce Brothers

3. Listening and Communication Purposes and Payoffs of Listening • Learning • Relating • Influencing • Playing • Helping

4. For discussion • Listening is so simple, it is hard. Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not?

5. Stages of Listening Process • Receiving • Understanding • Remembering • Evaluating • Responding

6. Stages of Listening—Receiving • Focus Attention on Speaker’s V & NV • Avoid Distractions • Focus on Speaker, Not What You’ll Say Next • Avoid Interrupting

7. Stages of Listening—Understanding • Relate New Information to What You Know • See Speaker’s Point of View • Ask Questions for Clarification • Paraphrase Speaker’s Ideas

8. Stages of Listening—Remembering • Take Notes • Tape Messages • Memory is not Reproductive • Memory is Reconstructed

9. Stages of Listening—Evaluating • Resist Premature Evaluation • Give Speaker Benefit of the Doubt • Distinguish Facts from Inferences • Identify Speaker’s Biases and/or Prejudices

10. Stages of Listening—Responding • Support the Speaker with Back-Channeling • Express Support for Speaker • Respond Honestly Even in Disagreement • Own Your Responses • Provide a Supportive Atmosphere

11. Problem-Causing Listening • The Static Listener • The Monotonous Feedback Giver • The Overly Expressive Listener • The Reader/Writer

12. For discussion • Do you routinely multitask? What do you think of the information in the text that we never really multitask, just do two things ineffectively?

13. Styles of Listening • Empathic and Objective • Punctuate from Speaker’s Point of View • Engage in Equal, Two-Way Conversations • Seek to Understand Thoughts and Feelings • Avoid “Offensive Listening”

14. Styles of Listening—Nonjudgmental and Critical • Keep Open Mind • Avoid Filtering or Oversimplifying • Recognize Own Biases • Avoid Uncritical Listening

15. Note the different requirements in the following situations: • You’re lost, and you ask a stranger for directions. Your child comes to you crying. You are in trouble and someone offers to help. Your spouse is being affectionate and playful. Opposing council is cross-examining you in court.

16. Styles of Listening • Surface and Depth • Focus on Verbal and Nonverbal • Listen for Content and Relational Messages • Note Statements that Refer Back to Speaker • Don’t Disregard Literal Meanings

17. Styles of Listening • Active and Inactive • Paraphrase Speaker’s Meaning • Express Understanding of Speaker’s Feelings • Ask Questions

18. For discussion • Reviewing the personal listening preferences in the text, which do you use most often? With which do you feel the most comfortable? Least comfortable? Are you able to adopt different styles to different situations? 

19. TQLR • T -- Tune in (The listener must tune in to the speaker and the subject, mentally calling up everything known about the subject and shutting out all distractions.) • Q -- Question (The listener should mentally formulate questions. What will this speaker say about this topic? What is the speaker's background? I wonder if the speaker will talk about...?) • L -- Listen (The listener should organize the information as it is received, anticipating what the speaker will say next and reacting mentally to everything heard.) • R -- Review (The listener should go over what has been said, summarize, and evaluate constantly. Main ideas should be separated from subordinate ones.)

20. Activity • Listening to the sounds in your environment. What do you hear?