Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc. 2735 Whitney Road Clearwater, Florida 33760

1. Parenting Styles Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc. 2735 Whitney Road Clearwater, Florida 33760 Phone: (727) 523-1130 Toll free: (800) 825-8687 E-mail: pirc@fndfl.org Website: www.fndfl.org

2. Family Network on Disabilities of Florida, Inc. (FND) is: • Family Driven • Non-Profit 501(c)3 • Membership Organization Jim Fay

3. The PIRC is YOUR…. Parent and Information Resource Center. We are funded by a grant from the U.S. Department of Education, Office of Innovation and Improvement as part of the NCLB legislation. Jim Fay

4. Agenda • Parenting Styles • Love and Logic • Problem Solving • What It All Comes Down To Jim Fay

5. Goal: • To increase and emphasize parents’ knowledge of effective parenting styles Jim Fay

6. Objectives: • Learn characteristics of effective parenting styles • Learn how to combine love and logic with children Jim Fay

7. Today’s Families: What Worked When We Were Kids May Not Work Today! WHY? Jim Fay

8. Parenting Styles • Helicopters: “These parents hover over their children, constantly rescuing them and constantly protecting them from their teachers, other kids, and the rest of the cruel world out there!” Jim Fay

9. Parenting Styles • Drill Sergeants: “When these parents tell their children to jump, they better jump!!” Jim Fay

10. Parenting Styles • Consultants: These parents are always willing to share alternatives and describe how they would solve the problem themselves. They leave it up to their children to decide what to do and then hold the children responsible and accountable for their decision. Jim Fay

11. Unspoken Messages… • Helicopters: “You can’t help yourself. I have to do things for you.” • Drill Sergeant: “You can’t think. I have to do your thinking for you.” • Consultant: “You are capable and can make wise decisions. You are a responsible person.” Jim Fay

12. Love and Logic Using love and logic to help children find solutions to problems… “Love allows children to grow through their mistakes.” “Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices.” Jim Fay

13. Four Principles of Love and Logic: • Shared Control – Parents gain control by giving away the control they don’t need. • Shared Thinking and Decision-Making – Parents provide opportunities for children to do the greatest amount of thinking and decision-making. Jim Fay

14. Four Principles of Love and Logic: • Equal Shares of Consequences and Empathy – An absence of parental anger causes a child to think and learn from his or her mistakes. • Maintaining A Child’s Self-Concept – Improved self-concept leads to improved behavior and improved achievement. Jim Fay

15. Love and Logic and Problem Solving • Helicopters tend to rescue kids from the consequences of their actions. • Drill Sergeants tend to avoid giving kids opportunities to make decisions or mistakes. • Consultants allow kids to make mistakes and to live with the consequences. Jim Fay

16. Children raised by consultant parents grow up to be adults who: • Know how to respect and take care of themselves • Are able to determine who “owns” the problem • Know that they have some control over their lives • Know that you gain control by giving away the control you don’t need • Know that the quality of their lives depends upon the decisions they make Jim Fay

17. You know your child best – you may need to be a helicopter at one time, a drill sergeant at another time, and a consultant in between! Spending time with your child and showing your child that you care is the most important thing a parent can do! What it all comes down to… Jim Fay

18. For More Information… Call 800-338-4065 or go to Parenting with Love & Logic and refer to the Helicopters, Drill Sergeants, and Consultants book by Jim Fay Jim Fay

19. For more information contact: PleaseCompleteEvaluation 2735 Whitney Road Clearwater, Florida 33760 Office: 727-523-1130 or 800-825-5736 Fax: 727-523-8687 www.fndfl.org Jim Fay