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Forgiveness, Who Does It, and How They Do It . Michael E. McCullough University of Miami Coral Gables, Florida. “Which do you usually do when you feel that someone has deliberately done something wrong to you?” Try to Forgive 48% Try to Overlook It 45% Hold Onto Resentment 14%
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Forgiveness, Who Does It, and How They Do It Michael E. McCullough University of Miami Coral Gables, Florida
“Which do you usually do when you feel that someone has deliberately done something wrong to you?” Try to Forgive 48% Try to Overlook It 45% Hold Onto Resentment 14% Try to Get Even 8% Forgiveness in the Population (Poloma & Gallup, 1991)
The “Flight From Tenderness:” “Somehow it feels more tough-minded to study discord. The scientist fears that if he looks at affiliative sentiments he may seem sentimental; if he talks about love he may seem emotional; and if he studies personal attachments he may seem personal. Better leave the whole matter to poets, to saints, or to theologians.” Gordon W. Allport (1950), A Psychological Approach to the Study of Love and Hate
Forgiveness • Pardon (A Legal Term) • Condonation (Justifying an offense) • Excusing (Extenuating circumstances) • Forgetting (Decay of memory) • Denial (Motivated Lack of Awareness) • Reconciliation (Restored Relationship) • Surrendering Justice Concerns
Forgiveness Is: • A intrapsychic event occurring in the context of an interpersonal transgression • These transgressions typically elicit negative changes in interpersonal motivations (avoidance, revenge, benevolence)
Forgiveness Is: • A intrapsychic event occurring in the context of an interpersonal transgression • Typically elicit negative changes in interpersonal motivations (avoidance, revenge, benevolence) • Forgiveness Is Motivational Change • Increased benevolence, reduced revenge and avoidance • Precedes (and can stimulate) prosocial changes in behavior toward the transgressor
Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations (TRIM) Inventory Avoidance “I keep as much distance between us as possible.” “I avoid him/her.” Benevolence “I want us to bury the hatchet.” “I want us to have a positive relationship again.” Revenge “I’ll make him/her pay.” “I want to see him/her hurt and miserable.”
Who Does It? • Agreeableness • Proneness to Negative Emotions • Religion/Spirituality
How Do They Do It? Empathy is Key Interventions + Apology + Empathy + Forgiveness + - Closeness Rumination
Forgiveness: Implicit Temporal Dynamics • “A motivational transformation. . . “ McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997 • “ Cancellation of a debt“ • Exline & Baumeister, 2000 • ...overcoming resentment...and [trying] to have a new stance of benevolence, compassion, and even love. • Subkoviak, Enright, et al., 1995
Forgiveness, Forbearance, and Time Given a set of TRIMs yij: yij = β0j + β1j(Time) + rij Intercept (β0j) : Initial post-transgression levels of revenge, avoidance, benevolence = Forbearance. Slope (β1j(Time)): linear change in revenge, avoidance, benevolence = Trend Forgiveness.
Post-Transgression Predictors of Forbearance and (Trend) Forgiveness
Forgiveness and Dyadic Satisfaction/ Commitment, McCullough et al., 1998
Mathematical Model of Relational Closeness and Reconciliation Given a set of measures of closeness/commitment yij yij = β0j + β1j(Time) + rij Intercept (β0j) : Initial levels of closeness and commitment Slope (β1j(Time)): change in closeness and commitment over time = Reconciliation.
Promoting Forgiveness via Group Interventions • Non-Clinical (< 6 hrs.) vs. Control Group: d = .24. • Clinical (>6 hrs.) vs. Control: d = .76. • Importance of empathy promotion
The Future • The Well-Being Assumption • The Self-Report Assumption • The Physical Health Assumption
The Well-Being Assumption • Does Forgiveness Lead to Mental Health and Well-Being? • Cross sectional vs. longitudinal data • Associative longitudinal growth modeling • Do forgiveness trajectories predict the unfolding of mental health and well-being following transgressions?
The Self-Report Assumption • Is Self-Report the Best Way to Measure Forgiveness? Do self-reports converge with other measures? • Alternatives to Self-Report • Retributive/avoidant/benevolent behavior in the laboratory • Reductions in facial expressions of negative and positive (affiliative) emotion
Physical Health Assumption • Does Forgiveness Lead to Physical Health? • Forgiveness and Physiology • Forgiveness and Health in Real-Time • Physiological reactivity to transgression-related laboratory challenges • Cardiovascular reactivity • Neuroendocrine • Immunologic
The Future: “When we imagine a perfect state of being we invariably imagine the unconditional triumph of love.” Gordon W. Allport (1950), A Psychological Approach to the Study of Love and Hate