A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE

1. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A Minor Hockey Toolbox for Parents

2. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE

3. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A. EducateEducate the masses National Programs Branch Initiatives District/MHA Delivery B. Create and Communicate Association Philosophies • Team selection • Ice time • Code of Conduct • All involved including parents Remember – We can’t expect people to act within our expectations if we don’t let them know what our expectations are! Coaches Players Parents Officials Safety People Volunteers C. Engage Create Solid Partnerships Get parents involved Strong parent/coach relationships D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution E. Resolve Formal Response to Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction consistently

4. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A- Educate A. EducateEducate the masses National Programs Branch Initiatives District/MHA Delivery Chevrolet Safe and Fun Parents Approach Seminars • Easy to deliver • Can be hosted in less than 1 hour -add District/MHA philosophies and codes of conduct • Host at registration, or through the coach at the first team meeting! • All materials including manuals are free of charge March 7, 2006

5. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A- Educate A. EducateEducate the masses National Programs Branch Initiatives District/MHA Delivery Chevrolet Safe and Fun Parents Approach Seminars • Emphasizes parents relationships with: - players • coaches • parents • officials • Minor Hockey Associations • Other important information as it relates to being a parent in the game including identifying general EXPECTATIONS! March 7, 2006

6. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A- Educate A. EducateEducate the masses National Programs Branch Initiatives District/MHA Delivery Resource Tools to Educate the Masses Branch/District/MHA Constitution/Operations Manual AGM Focus Groups National Hockey Parent Day Safe and Fun Program Safety for All PSA Programming Development Programming Branch Programming Parent Handbook – To be Completed March 7, 2006

7. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE B- Create and Communicate B. Create and Communicate Association Philosophies • Team selection • Ice time Code of Conduct • All involved including parents Remember – We can’t expect people to act within our expectations if we don’t let them know what our expectations are! District/MHA Philosophy • Educate your coaches for consistency • Frame the need for your coaches to have parent meetings to clarify philosophies on: Ice time Player rotation with respect to positions Respect of officials Shift length Pre and post game routines March 7, 2006

8. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE B- Create and Communicate B. Create and Communicate Association Philosophies • Team selection • Ice time Code of Conduct • All involved including parents Remember – We can’t expect people to act within our expectations if we don’t let them know what our expectations are! Codes of Conduct/Behaviour Guidelines for acceptable and unacceptable behaviour Provide the foundation for accountability of the membership when enforcing a sanction becomes a reality Keep your code simple and straight forward Pledge forms can be effective in communicating your code Communicate your code whenever you can Alberta SMART Program a great template! Remember – We can’t expect people to act within our expectations if we don’t let them know what our expectations are! March 7, 2006

9. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE B- Create and Communicate B. Create and Communicate Association Philosophies • Team selection • Ice time Code of Conduct • All involved including parents Remember – We can’t expect people to act within our expectations if we don’t let them know what our expectations are! Resource Tools to Createand Communicate Branch/District/MHA Constitution/Operations Manual PSA Programming such as Relax... Codes of Conduct Guiding Principles for Parents of Value Roles and Responsibilities for Parents of Value Alberta SMART Program BCAHA Team First Program Dartmouth Fair Play Program Franc Jeu Program Parent Approach Manual Parent Handbook – To be Completed March 7, 2006

10. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage C. ENGAGE Create Solid Partnerships Get parents involved Strong parent/coach relationships March 7, 2006

11. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage C. ENGAGE Create Solid Partnerships Get parents involved Strong parent/coach relationships Their Childs Development Team March 7, 2006

12. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage So what can we do to positively deal with parents? March 7, 2006

13. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage COMMUNICATION Team Meetings • Pre Season • Mid- Season • End Of Season • Special Meetings March 7, 2006

14. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage C. ENGAGE Create Solid Partnerships Get parents involved Strong parent/coach relationships Stress to parents that they need to: Encourage kids to participate and respect their choices Enjoy their participation and focus on new skills, improving performance and having fun Support our players emotionally by helping them to deal with fear, anger, guilt, embarrassment and happiness March 7, 2006

15. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage C. ENGAGE Create Solid Partnerships Get parents involved Strong parent/coach relationships • Discuss concerns with them with the intent of helping positively address the situation • Model respectful behaviour for their children • Communicate in a professional and courteous manner • Ask questions if they are unsure Teach coaches to encourage parents to: March 7, 2006

16. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE C- Engage C. ENGAGE Create Solid Partnerships Get parents involved Strong parent/coach relationships Resource Tools to Engage in Creating Solid Relationships • NCCP Team Meeting • Safe and Fun Parents Approach Seminar • Branch Mentorship Programs • Evaluation Templates March 7, 2006

17. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution Solving minor issues at the team level…..before things escalate! March 7, 2006

18. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution • Conflict is inevitable but anger and grudges are not! • Conflict resolution is important but people taking responsibility for their own behaviour is more important. • When conflict does occur how we respond determines if a conflict escalates or is resolved. • Recognizing your own personal power can influence how you deal with conflict. March 7, 2006

19. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution • Every conflict has two components: • How people think • How people feel • To resolve conflict we need to consider how people feel (their emotions) • The key is to avoid escalation of a disagreement • Sometimes the best thing to do is to “walk away” to let the other person cool down • The expression of anger and how each person manages their anger will determine how intense the conflict becomes March 7, 2006

20. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution • Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy human emotion. • Out of control anger is destructive. • Anger is “an emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage”. • When you get angry, your heart rate, blood pressure and hormone levels increase. These determine your response. March 7, 2006

21. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution HOW TO DIFFUSE ANGER? • Before you speak or do anything else, stay cool and calm • Take several slow, deep breaths and relax for a few seconds to slow down your heart rate • Take a few seconds to think about how you can diffuse the situation and avoid a confrontation • Maintain eye contact and watch your body posture • It is okay to walk away from this fight • Consider all the options for responding and their possible results IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT WHEN EITHER PERSON IS ANGRY. TAKE A BREAK AND ATTEMPT TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT LATER, IF APPROPRIATE. March 7, 2006

22. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution • Acknowledge what you have heard and the other person’s position • Ask for clarification to understand their reason or rationale • Summarize what you have heard and verify that this is correct • State your position IF the person is ready to listen • State what points you agree on • State points of disagreement • When the person responds, acknowledge what they have said • Continue until you have resolved the issue or agreed to disagree • Bring in a neutral person if possible March 7, 2006

23. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE D - Respond D. Respond Informal Response to Complaints Communication Conflict Resolution Resource Tools to Respond • Branch Mentorship Programs • Informal Meeting of the Parties • Conflict Resolution Training – To Be Completed • Ombudsman March 7, 2006

24. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve E. Resolve Formal Response to Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction consistently If all the steps we just talked about are put in place the number of formal complaints should be reduced, however; We must be prepared to deal with formal complaints in a fair, consistent manner! March 7, 2006

25. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve E. Resolve Formal Response to Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction consistently • Policies and procedures provide a road map for your MHA. • Should reflect the philosophies of your MHA. • Provide continuity to the activities of the organization. • Ensure consistency if followed appropriately. • Help to identify the expected behaviour in an organization. • Include a complaint handling procedure. March 7, 2006

26. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve E. Resolve Formal Response to Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction consistently Complaint Procedures Your association needs to define a process as to how complaints will be handled. What triggers a complaint investigation The reporting of unacceptable behaviour by a director, spectator, coach, player, parent, or official Clear definitions of unacceptable behaviour The reporting process The completion of an incident report form The method of enforcement Provide a description of who has the power to assess discipline in the association This could include getting facility owners concurrence and support for discipline The method to be used to handle the complaint Process should include an appeals process Include this in the association bylaws as they are the governing documents of the association March 7, 2006

27. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve E. Resolve Formal Response to Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction consistently • Ensure you have procedures that are fair • Know and follow association procedures • Identify expected behaviour • Use good judgment when sanctions are necessary • Communicate! March 7, 2006

28. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE E - Resolve E. Resolve Formal Response to Complaints Follow procedures consistently Sanction consistently Resource Tools to Resolve by Formal Response to Complaints • Branch/District/MHA Constitutions • Branch/District/MHA complaint policies and procedures such as Game and Conduct Management, SMART, Team First • Minor Hockey Association Survey March 7, 2006

29. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7 year oldhockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is?What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

30. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.

31. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a jerk. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded.

32. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette The coach continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that anotherboy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to callyour coach 'a dumb jerk', is it?'' Again the little boy nodded.

33. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE A Final Word Ice Hockey Etiquette "Good," said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother and father!”

34. A MINOR HOCKEY TOOLBOX FOR PARENTS – THE PRESENTATION TEMPLATE Any comments or suggestions to improve this template, please contact any member of the Hockey Canada “Parent Education Committee” Mike Bruni – Chair Joe Drago Frank Lento Dr. Vern Stenlund Jack Forsyth Brian Whitehead Joe Kompon Todd Jackson – Hockey Canada Staff