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The Positive Power of Humor. Rosemarie D. Poverman, MSW,LCSW 28 Union Ave. Manasquan, NJ 08736 732 223 1477 www.rosemariepoverman.com. Humor is an “Opener”. When you choose humor you choose to see the world from a different perspective. Creating an Optimal Counseling Climate.
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The Positive Power of Humor Rosemarie D. Poverman, MSW,LCSW 28 Union Ave. Manasquan, NJ 08736 732 223 1477 www.rosemariepoverman.com
Humor is an “Opener” When you choose humor you choose to see the world from a different perspective
Creating an Optimal Counseling Climate • Much in the delivery of social services concerns itself with the “state of the mind”. Therefore, it is vital to understand how to positively enhance “the state of mind” (for the service-recipient and the service-provider) to create an optimal climate for maximizing the delivery and utilization of such services
Not New • For many years, since Norman Cousins published his book Anatomy of an Illness (1979) researchers in the health care field have established connections between humor, laughter and health, including mental health (the state of mind).
The Humor Mindset • When we speak of “humor” in this sense it is not only about being “funny” as in “comic”. It is more. It is about humor as a state of mind. It is about an attitude and outlook of lightness, playfulness and joy. It is about the ability to flex the mental perceptions which frame life’s challenges, ordinary and extraordinary. Being able to engage such a humor mind set helps one to:
A Humor Mind-set helps to: • Improve attitude & mood. • Generate options & spark creativity. • Reduce anxiety & manage stress. • Cope with change. • Connect with others. • Defuse anger & develop resilience. • Maintain motivation. • Raise self esteem and self empowerment
Oh The Places You Will GoDr. Seuss • Congratulations! • Today is your day • You're off to Great Places • You're off and away! • You have brains in your head. • You have feet in your shoes. • You can steer yourself • any direction you choose… • …So be sure when you step. • Step with care and great tact • and remember that Life's • a great balancing Act.
YAHOO • “You Always Have Other Options
Using Humor in Counseling I* • Plan your humor and be prepared to use it spontaneously. • Be willing to risk using humor. • Assess the student’s level of humor and his/her ability to accept and integrate humorous interventions. • Be prepared to respond to his/her reaction to the humor
Using Humor in Counseling II* • Be capable of taking yourself lightly and your work seriously. • Use humor which is genuine and congruent. • In all counseling, especially with adolescents it is essential that the counselor be genuine. • *Adapted from Steven M Sultanoff, PhD www.mirthman@humormatters.com Irvine California
MOOMBA MY ONLY OBSTICAL MUST BE ATTITUDE
HUMOR MINDSET SKILLS • Look for the humor in a negative situation. • Focus on your successes, no matter how small. • Simplify. Let go of unimportant things. • Detach. Take a mental step back from difficult situations. • Get flexible. Restructure perceptions to maximize choices. • Lighten up. Avoid being overly serious about yourself. • Seize every opportunity to laugh. • Allow joy. Happiness can exist for no reason or without a prerequisite such as the right time or place. • Remember “...trouble is unavoidable, misery is optional...”
Make My Day ! Thermometer or Thermostat?
Setting the Climate • I have come to a frightening conclusion. I am the decisive element in the classroom.It is my personal approach that creates the climate.It is my daily mood that makes the weather. • As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. • I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. • In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or de-humanized. • A quote from: Between Teacher and Child (Haim Ginott)
The Magic of a Smile Smiling is infectious You catch it like the flu When someone smiled at me today I started smiling too. I passed around the corner And someone saw my grin When he smiled I realized I'd passed it on to him I thought about that smile Then I realized its worth, A single smile, just like mine Could travel round the earth. So, if you feel a smile begin, Don't leave it undetected Let's start an epidemic quick, And get the world infected!
THE VALUE OF HUMOR & LAUGHTER IN THE SCHOOL SETTING I • Humor makes class (life, work, school) more interesting. • The job of the teacher is to get students laughing and when their mouths are open to give them something on which to chew. • Humor helps both students and teacher enjoy class (life, work, school) more. • Laughter (lightheartedness) reduces tension and anxiety.
II • Humor motivates and energizes. • Humor gives a “hook” on which to trigger recall. • Humor encourages creativity. • Humor helps students (staff) accept new ideas (change).
III • Laughter helps build relationships. • It is really difficult for a student or colleague to turn off and become hostile when they are regularly enjoying a good laugh with one another. • Laughter (laugh at self) helps show that mistakes are a normal part of learning. • Humor provokes thought.
IV • Laughter improves health (stress reduction). • Everyone appreciates a sense of humor (“match.com’) • Laughter feels good
CAVIATS OF USING HUMOR IN THE SCHOOL SETTING • Everyone (especially students) may not understand the difference between positive and negative humor. • Students sometimes look at laughter as a signal to get of control. • These guidelines help to use humor most effectively: • Don’t try too hard. • Do what fits you and your personality. • Don’t use private humor that leaves some people ‘out’. • Make humor a regular part of class (life, work, school) rather than something special. • Make humor relevant. • Humor can sometimes be distracting when it bears no natural relationship to the situation or issues at hand.
10 Ways to Kill A School’s Spirit • 1. Keep your mind rigid at all times. • 2. Never let options get in the way of old thinking. • 3. Use sarcasm & put downs to beat others. • 4. See laughter & light-heartedness as a waste of time. • 5. Over react to negatives so they can be set in stone. • 6. Be sure to be trivial & lose the big picture. • 7. Be overly serious & disconnected. • 8. Blame-storm. • 9. Rely on dark forecasts to fend off positive thinking. • 10. Punish others for their creativity & humor.
Save the Counselor ! Adapted from Happiness Tips:Tal Ben-Shahar • 1. Give yourself permission to be human. • 2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning.. • 3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. • 4. Simplify! • 5. Remember the mind-body connection. • 6. Express gratitude, whenever possible.
Bibliography: Humor in Psychotherapy and Counseling On The Web Resources for on going and current research in using humor in the behavioral and medical sciences Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor www.aath.org The Humor Project Inc. www.humorproject.com The International society for Humor Studies http://www.hnu.edu/ishs/ .
Bibliography: Humor in Psychotherapy and Counseling • In Print • Araoz, Bordan, Gladding et al, “Humor in Counseling” (Practice & Theory Journal of Counseling and Development) Sept. 2006 • Carr, Alan, Positive Psychology, Florence Kentucky: Routledge Publishers 2004 • Dobson, Keith S., Evidence-Based Practice of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, New York, NY: Guildford Press, 2009 • Elkind, David, The Power of Play, Cambridge, MA: De Capo Press, 2007 • Ellis, A. Overcoming resistance: A rational emotive behavior therapy integrated approach, New York: Springer 2007 • Martin, Rod, The Psychology of Humor: An Integrative Approach, Philadelphia, PA: 2007 • Schaefer, Charles E., Play Therapy With Adults, Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2004 (“Integrating Humor into Psychotherapy” Sultanoff, Steven M)
Brinkman & Kirschner, Dealing with People you Can’t Stand New York, NY: McGraw Hill 2002 Burgess, Ron, Laughing Lessons Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing 2000 Loomans, Diane & Kolberg, Karen, The Laughing Classroom Tiburon, CA: H J Kramer, Inc., 1993 Lundberg, Elaine & Thurston, Cheryl Miller, If They’re Laughing They Just Might Be Listening Fort Collins, CO: Cottonwood Press, Inc., 2002 McKay, Gary & Dinkmeyer, Don, How You Feel Is Up To You Atascadero, CA: Impact Publishers, Inc., 2002 Maginn, Michael Managing in Times of Change New York, NY: McGraw Hill, 2007 Metcalf, C.W., Lighten Up Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing Co., 1992 Paulson, Terry L. Making Humor Work Menlo Park, CA: Crisp Publications, 1989 Seligman, Martin, Learned Optimism New York, NY: Pocket Books, 1990 Silberg, Jackie, The Learning Power of Laughter Beltsville, MD: Gryphon House, Inc., 2004 Bibliography: additional – in print