Stuff White People Like

1. Stuff White People Like Kalli Bergevain Marissa Postler Zach Schwaller

3. A brief summary of the text. • Basically a giant list • Self affirmation • Originality • Non – Racism • Each item ends with how to please a white person/speak to a white person/act around a white person

4. Coffee There is no doubt that white people love coffee. Yes, it’s true that asians like iced coffee and people of all races enjoy it. But I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it – like cigarettes. White people all need Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean. They are also fond of saying “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.” White guys will also call it anything but coffee: “rocket fuel,” “java,” “joe,” “black gold,” and so forth. It’s pretty garbage all around. If you want to go for extra points – white people really love FAIR TRADE coffee, because paying the extra $2 means they are making a difference.

5. Even though most white people prefer to say that they don’t watch television, one thing they agree on is that Arrested Development was the best show on TV. They love it so much! The love it for a number of reasons. Firstly, since the show was cancelled before it jumped the shark, it’s effectively like a rocker that dies at 27. Also, the show got terrible ratings, meaning that it wasn’t ‘mainstream,’ which makes white people love it unilaterally. Other examples of shows like this are Twin Peaks and The Ben Stiller Show. They also love it because there are a few references to white popular culture, and if there is one thing that white people love, it’s cultural references that they understand (see Garden State, The Onion, and Juno for examples). If you are ever a white person’s house, and you see an orange box in their DVD collection, you should say “oh, you have Arrested Development, I love that show!” To which you will be offered a glass of wine, and perhaps an invitation to 80s night. Also of note: the hip hop group Arrested Development is also loved by white people. Arrested Development

6. Farmers Markets This one is a no-brainer and served as the inspiration for the photo on the far right. That photo described the woman as a “local herb merchant.” Everything about that description is white. White people like Farmers Markets for a number of reasons. The first is their undying need to support local economies (see future post), and the idea of buying direct from the farmer helps them assuage the fears instilled in them from reading Fast Food Nation (and yes, every white person has read this book). White people also like Farmer’s Markets because it is outdoors (they love being outdoors), they can bring their dogs and children in expensive strollers, and they get to see other white people. If they are single, this is a good place to meet other single white people who share their passion for sustainability.

7. What exactly is a white person? • White Person \hwit – per-sen\ n : A white person is generally one of North American descent. This type of person is trendy. He or she wears the right clothes, and is on top of the latest styles. White people are also rather into coffee, tea, public radio, being liberal, foreign cultures, and modernism. The white person is environmentally conscious, and is always trying to reduce their carbon footprint. Such a person is also on the lookout on how to improve other people and their lives. White people are always concerned about their originality, although these people do not realize that every other white person shares the same concern. Therefore, no white person is truly unique. Almost everything that a white person does is based on self – affirmation and avoiding racism. White people are also part of the middle class, making between 30,000 and 100,000 dollars a year. However, most fall in to the upper areas of that range. These people have various credit cards and plenty of luxury goods. Yet, white people still believe that others have much more than they do. The white person can also be described in the book, Stuff White People Like, by Christian Lander. See also, Hipster.

8. The group thought that the book was… • Slightly depressing, yet somewhat entertaining • Made us realize just how white we really were • Rather predictable after a while • Should have just stayed a blog • Book made it seem like white people were too into themselves and selfish, why would anyone want to be friends with them? • Also, non – white people were portrayed as conniving and only out to use white people • Intended audience is not white people trying to befriend a white person • Rather, intended audience is the actual white person stereotype

9. To recommend or not recommend? • Only for light reading • Reader must be very lighthearted, even though we all are • Must be able to laugh at self 1/2

10. Stuff White People Like Quiz • Coffee • Religions Their Parents Don’t Belong To • Film Festivals • Assists • Farmer’s Markets • Organic Food • Diversity • Barack Obama • Making You Feel Bad for Not Going Outside • Wes Anderson Movies • Asian Girls • Nonprofit Organizations • Tea • Having Black Friends • Yoga • Gifted Children • Hating Their Parents • Awareness • International Travel • Being an Expert on Your Culture • Writer’s Workshops • Having Two Last Names • Microbreweries • Wine • David Sedaris • Manhattan (and Now Brooklyn, Too!) • Marathons • Not Having a TV • ‘80s Night • Wrigley Field • Snowboarding • Veganism/Vegetarianism • Marijuana • Architecture • The Daily Show with Jon Stewart/The Colbert Report • Brunch • Renovations • Arrested Development • Netflix • Apple Products • Indie Music • Sushi • Plays • Public Radio • Asian Fusion Food • The Sunday New York Times • Liberal Arts Degrees • Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops • Vintage • Irony • Living by the Water • Sarah Silverman • Dogs • Kitchen Gadgets • Apologies • Lawyers • Documentaries • Japan • Natural Medicine • Toyota Prius • Bicycles • Knowing What’s Best for Poor People • Expensive Sandwiches • Recycling • Coed Sports • Divorce • Standing Still at Concerts • Michael Gondry • Mos Def • Difficult Breakups • Being the Only White Person Around • Study Abroad • Gentrification • Oscar Parties • Threatening to Move to Canada • Bottles of Water

11. Musical Comedy • Multilingual Children • Modern Furniture • The Idea of Soccer • Graduate School • Hating Corporations • Bad Memories of High School • T-Shirts • The Wire • Shorts • Outdoor Performance Clothes • Having Gay Friends • St. Patrick’s Day • Dinner Parties • San Francisco • Music Piracy • Rugby • New Balance Shoes • Beards • Having Children in Their Late Thirties • Red Hair • Noam Chomsky • Non-Motorized Boating • The Boston Red Sox • Scarves • Cleanses • Self-Deprecating Humor • Integrity • Pretending to be a Canadian When Traveling Abroad • The Criterion Collection • Natural Childbirth • High School English Teachers • Native Wisdom • Trying Too Hard • Portland, Oregon • Free Health Care • CheGuevera • The New Yorker • Non-American News Sources • Subtitles • Premium Juice • The ACLU • Plaid • Platonic Friendships • Reusable Shopping Bags • Acoustic Covers • Dave Chappelle • Tibet • Nintendo Wii • Conspiracies • The Simpsons • Avoiding Confrontation • DJs • Carbon Offsets • Following Their Dreams • Not Having Cash • Adopting Foreign Children • LEED Certification • Expensive Strollers • Singer-Songwriters • Eating Outside • Books • Music Festivals • Glasses • McSweeney’s • Hardwood Floors • Bakeries • Modern Art Museums • Cheese • Therapy • Public Transportation That is Not the Bus • Dive Bars • Self Importance • Rock Climbing

12. Now calculate how white you are! • ________ / 150 = _________% • Zach and Kalli were 63% white • Marissa was 33 % white