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Helping Children Cope with Separation during Deployment. FACILITATOR’S NAME Date. Objectives. Identify several ways deployment affects family, parenting, and child feelings and behavior. Discuss strategies to use to assist children to cope with separation caused by deployment.
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Helping Children Cope with Separation during Deployment FACILITATOR’S NAME Date
Objectives • Identify several ways deployment affects family, parenting, and child feelings and behavior. • Discuss strategies to use to assist children to cope with separation caused by deployment.
Challenges of Deployment • Whole family stress - worry and changing roles. • Service Member - focus moved to duty, concern for family, safety. • Home front caregiver - worry, added responsibilities, less support. • Children - worry more and be afraid and sad
Before & During Deployment: Challenges for Children COMMON BEHAVIORS • Questions about all adult’s whereabouts • Frequent questions about Service Member • Distancing self from caregiver to be deployed; defiance with that caregiver • Acting out behaviors • Demanding attention • Testing limits with adults COMMON FEELINGS • Denial • Anger • Confusion • Anxiety or worry • Isolation • Irritability • Tearfulness or sadness • Bad temper • Clingy, wants attention • Physical complaints
During Deployment: Separation Issues • Difficult for all members. • Emotions and behaviors from pre-deployment continue. • Usually increase as deployment is closer, settle with deployment, and then intensify. • Age affects how the person recognizes and responds to separation.
During Deployment: Babies, Toddlers, Preschoolers Approximately Ages 0 – 4 • Feeding and/or sleeping difficulties, increased irritability, or low energy • Aggressiveness, clinginess, changes in eating or sleeping habits, or crying more often What can you do? • Be emotionally available for them • Help toddlers feel loved, safe, and comfortable with their feelings • Show sensitivity - warmth, genuine positive effect, playing and having fun
During Deployment: Younger Children Approximately Ages 5 - 10 • Sadness and loneliness - trouble sleeping, illness complaints, crying • Confusion and worry - questioning, demanding more attention, clingy • Irritability and anger - testing, arguing, acting out at home and school • Moody, aggressive, or whiny - may get stomachaches, headaches
Helping Younger Children • Help the child identify how he or she is feeling;listen and support them • Keep the deployed present • Keep in touch through technological communication • Provide consistency and structure
During Deployment: Older Children Approximately Ages 11 - 13 • More aware of danger and stress • More competition for adult attention • Added responsibilities • Worry, depression, and stress • Crying, changes in eating, keeping to themselves (isolation) • Irritability, seeking attention, and challenging adults
Helping Older Children • Be aware! Be involved! • Encourage talking • Provide other ways to express feelings • Acknowledge them • Keep structure • Follow through on rules and discipline
During Deployment: Teens Approximately Ages 14 - 18 • Face more demands • More awareness of dangers and adult stress • Increased depression, anxiety, and feelings of being alone • Isolation - ignore or deny stress • Not want to be a burden • Resentment - arguing and angry outbursts • Danger of risk-taking behavior (drinking, abusing substances)
Helping Teens • Remember - not adults • Balance - being a teen and helping family • Express appreciation for help • Encourage them to talk • Help build support system • Structure and discipline • Even if they act like they don’t want support, provide it
Strategies for Deployed Parents • Stay connected • Stay involved • Limit information you share • Work with home caregiver
Saying Goodbye • Face-to-face clearly stated goodbye • Discuss as a family what the goodbye will look like • Prepare the youngest children members by talking about what will happen at the goodbye
General Guidelines • Structure • Open, positive, and supportive • Family=Team • Rules and discipline • Keep deployed parent present • Self-care
Seeking Assistance • Establish support system prior to deployment • Team up with school staff • Counseling is always beneficial • Seek professional help: difficulty with daily living, significant decline in school and home functioning • Seek immediate professional help: statements of not wanting to live, isolation, risky-behavior
Objectives • Identify several ways deployment affects family, parenting, and child feelings and behavior. • Discuss strategies to use to assist children to cope with separation caused by deployment.
Helping Children Cope with Separation during Deployment FACILITATOR’S NAME Date