Failing Forward

1. Failing Forward By John C. Maxwell Beginning

2. What is “failure?” • Failure is often defined as, “falling short of one’s goals.” Who defines those goals? Is “failure” avoidable? • No, failure is unavoidable and is, in fact, essential for success. Is “failure” uncomfortable? • Yes! It is natural for our children to want to avoid failure because it is uncomfortable. • It is also natural for us as adults to want to “protect” our children.

3. Is “failure” a good thing? • Yes! • Failure teaches us how to: • Problem Solve • Seek help and ask questions • Learn to push ourselves • Appreciate success • Make better choices • While life is easier without “failure,” we cannot grow as learners and people. Our children are the same way!

4. Failing Backward vs. Failing Forward • Blaming others (friends, parents, teachers, etc.) • Repeating the same mistakes • Expecting to never fail • Expecting to always fail • Accepting tradition blindly • Limited by past mistakes • Quitting • Taking responsibility • Learning from mistakes • Knowing failure is a part of the process • Keeping a positive attitude • Challenging assumptions • Taking new risks • Persevering

5. Example: Is an F a failure? • Is it uncomfortable for your child? Yes • Will your child wish to do better? Most likely • Will you want to help your child do better? Absolutely • Does it label your child a “failure?” No • An “F” can only be labeled a failure if there is no reflection or review of the assessment and no changes to perform better next time.

6. Fear of Failure creates: • Paralysis- They stop moving forward for fear of failure • Procrastination • Purposelessness 4 Negative side effects of fear of failure: • Self Pity • Excuses • Misused energy • Hopelessness

7. How do our kids “think” they fail? • Grades, Tests, Quizzes, Homework, Projects, Etc. • Sports Teams- playing time, which team they made, performance, etc. • Social Interactions • Making Poor Choices: “In trouble” • Physical Characteristics – adolescence; avoiding being different

8. Student Reactions (Failing Backward): • Self Pity- This isn’t fair, Teacher/Friends hate me, I’m stupid • Excuses- Teacher didn’t teach that, I didn’t know, Coach likes him better • Misused energy- Continuing to re-hash ‘failure’, not moving forward • Hopelessness- “I’ll Never…”; “I’ll be in trouble forever”

9. How Can We Help Students Fail Forward? • Set-backs are normal (they are not failure) • Let’s put it into perspective (What is important) • Take Responsibility (reflect on your preparation, actions, performance. mistake) • Accept consequences • What’s the plan to move forward? (What do YOU need to do first and then who else can help?) • Follow through on the plan • Continue to evaluate and re-assess

10. Examples of Failing Forward • CNN article – Jennifer Egan – Pulitzer Prize author discusses how she will go through 50-60 drafts before a novel is published. • “The struggle, of course, is often about fear: the fear of getting it wrong, of hitting a dead end, of wasting time. Of failing.” • “Successful people, we imagine, are somehow blessed with more optimism, bigger brains and higher ideals than the rest of us. But it's not true. Successful people -- creative people -- fail every day, just like everybody else. Except they don't view failure as a verdict. They view it as an opportunity. Indeed, it's failure that paves the way for creativity.”

11. Examples of Failing Forward • Rudy – Move about Rudy Ruettiger who follows his dream of playing football at Notre Dame even though he lacks the grades, finances, and physical traits typically expected. • Pursuit of Happyness – The movie about the real life story of Chris Gardner, who struggled through challenging times to become a successful Wall Street broker.