Mindful Coaching: How mindfulness can transform coaching practice

1. Mindful Coaching: How mindfulness can transform coaching practice Iain McCormick Executive Coaching Centre

2. Mindful The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something. Oxford Dictionaries Online Mindfulness involves paying attention to our thoughts and feelings so we become more aware of them, less enmeshed in them and better able to manage them. UK Mental Health Foundation Be Mindful report

3. Meditation Meditation is a practice of concentrated focus upon a sound, object, visualization, the breath, movement, or attention itself, in order to increase awareness of the present moment, reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance personal and spiritual growth. Medical Dictionary Online

4. Benefits of meditation Changes in the brain Changes in the body Decreases cortisol and distress Activates parasympathetic system promotes relaxation Boosts the immune system Improves a range of medical conditions - type II diabetes, asthma, chronic pain Improves psychological conditions, anxiety, insomnia etc. • Increases grey matter concentration • Reduces cortical thinning with ageing • Improves attention • Enhances compassion • Lifts mood Indicative research suggests that meditation improves coaches’ performance

5. Presence in coaching Presence is the ability to be fully conscious and create a spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style which is open, flexible and confident. International Coaching Federation Developing concentrated focus during regular meditation practice can be very beneficial to developing presence in coaching

6. Curiosity, enquiry and non-judgement Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning William Arthur Ward One of the main jobs of the coach is to enable the executive to think creatively, non-judgementally and being open to what emerges Myles Downey, Effective Thinking Curiosity, enquiry and non-judgement are at the heart of both coaching and mindfulness

7. Practice: The Body Scan • Begin by bringing your attention to your body. You can close your eyes if that’s comfortable for you. You can notice your body seated wherever you are, feeling the weight of your body on the chair, on the floor. Take a few deep breaths • You can feel your feet on the floor, notice the sensations of your feet touching the floor. The weight and pressure, vibration, heat • You can notice your legs against the chair, pressure, heaviness, lightness • Notice your back against the chair. Bring your attention into your stomach area. If your stomach is tense or tight, let it soften. Take a breath • Notice your hands. Are your hands tense or tight? See if you can allow them to soften • Notice your arms. Feel any sensation in your arms. Let your shoulders be soft • Notice your neck and throat. Let them be soft. Relax • Soften your jaw. Let your face and facial muscles be soft • Then notice your whole body present. Take one more breath. Be aware of your whole body as best you can. Take a breath. And then when you’re ready, you can open your eyes

8. Attunement and resonance • There is no difference in terms of effectiveness between many different psychotherapies –the therapeutic relationship seems to be the common effective ingredient Hyun-nie and Wampold (2001) • Attunement • The intention to help • A neutral stance of positive regard • A desire to connect • Supporting the other with kindness and compassion Siegel (2010) • Resonance • The client and ourselves becoming a ‘functional whole’ Siegel (2010) • Resonance is the deep understanding of the other person as if by echo

9. Practice: The Witness Meditation • Begin by bringing your attention into your body. You can close your eyes if that’s comfortable for you. You can notice your body seated wherever you’re seated, feeling your weight on the chair, on the floor. Take a few deep breaths • Notice that there is a part of your mind that is able to observe the contents of own mind without being a part of them. Notice what you are feeling. What is eddying and flowing • What are my thoughts? • What are my emotions? • What are my bodily sensations? • Who is the Witness? • Does anything lie beyond the Witness? • Don’t overthink it. Just ask the questions and see what comes up

10. Compassion • Our brains have evolved to be caring and to need caring… This caring has been such a successful strategy that it has flourished into complex potentials within the human brain, including the competencies that give rise to our abilities for compassion Gilbert 2009 the Compassionate Mind • True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore a truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively The Dalai Lama • Compassion and respect for the client are central to the coaching process Doug Silsbee (2010)

11. Practice: Compassion Meditation • Close your eyes. Sit comfortably with your feet flat on the floor and your spine straight. Relax your whole body. Without straining or concentrating, just relax and gently follow the instructions. Take a deep breath in. And breathe out • Receiving Loving-Kindness; Keeping your eyes closed, think of a person close to you who loves you. It could be someone from the past or the present; someone still in life or who has passed. Imagine that person is standing on your right side, sending you their love. That person is sending you wishes for your safety, for your well-being and happiness. Feel the warm wishes and love coming from that person towards you. Now imagine that you are surrounded on all sides by all the people who love you and have loved you. Picture all of your friends and loved ones surrounding you. They are standing sending you wishes for your happiness, well-being, and health. Enjoy the warm wishes and love • Sending Loving-Kindness to Loved Ones: Now bring your awareness back to the person standing on your right side. Begin to send the love that you feel back to that person. You and this person are similar. Just like you, this person wishes to be happy. Send all your love and warm wishes to that person. Repeat the following phrases, silently: May you be safe, may you be healthy, may you be happy, may you live your life with ease   • Sending Loving-Kindness to Neutral People: Now think of an acquaintance, someone you don’t know very well and toward whom you do not have any particular feeling. Send all your wishes to that person, repeating the following phrases, silently: May you be safe, may you be healthy, may you be happy, may you live your life with ease • Sending Loving-Kindness to All Living Beings: Now expand your awareness and picture the whole globe in front of you as a ball. Send warm wishes to all living beings: May you be safe, may you be healthy, may you be happy, may you live your life with ease • Take a deep breath and breathe out. And another deep breath in and let it go. Notice the state of your mind and how you feel after this meditation • When you’re ready, you may open your eyes

12. Being and doing • Be yourself. Life is precious as it is. There is no need to run, strive, search or struggle. Just be Thich Nhat Hanh. Zen Monk • Coaching is frequently about doing, results, goals yet there is a need for balance and peace in our lives

13. Practice: Walking Meditation • Standing/Start - to begin, simply stand, being aware of your weight being transferred through the soles of your feet into the ground. Being aware of the subtle movements that go on to keep us balanced and upright • Walking - then you can begin to walk at a fairly slow but normal pace. We’re not changing the way that we walk, we’re simply going to be aware of it • Awareness of your feet – pay attention in the soles of your feet, being aware of the alternating patterns of contact and release; being aware of your foot as the heel first makes contact, as your foot rolls forward onto the ball, and then lifts and travels through the air • Awareness of your body – slowly pay attention to other parts of your body: legs, torso, arms, face. How do they feel as you walk? • Now come to a stop. Just experience yourself standing. Just notice what it’s like to no longer be in motion. Feeling once again the weight traveling down through the soles of your feet into the ground; simply standing and experiencing yourself and then bringing this meditation session to a close

14. Nurturing the coach • Getting in the right headspace before a session is important • The Mindful Minute - • Close your eyes • Focus on your breath: Deep inhales and slow exhales • Repeat 6-8 times (or more if you have more than a minute!) • Optional: Use a timer and set for one minute. Timers work well to make sure you don’t get lost in meditation if you have something scheduled soon after • Enjoy a more peaceful state as you slip back into your day

15. Mindfulness in the coaching session • Preparation for coaching • Maintaining focus in the session • Remaining empathic and compassionate in the session • Teaching mindfulness to clients • Only teach mindfulness if it is directly relevant • Highlight the current research • Use language relevant to the client • Keep it secular unless the client wishes otherwise • Be realistic about the time clients can put into practice

16. The FEEL Model Liz Hall has developed the model to illustrate what we are trying to achieve in mindfulness • F – Focus on what is going on – thoughts, feelings, sensations • E – Explore gently what is going on for you being open and non-judgmental • E – Embrace what is going on without grasping or pushing – accept what has arisen • L – Let go of the sensations and feelings no matter if they are good, bad or indifferent

17. Working with clients on stress • Discuss how widespread stress is and its bodily impacts • Discuss the research on mindfulness and stress, if relevant • Start the next part of the session with a Mindful Minute or similar • Encourage the client to sit quietly when they feel a ‘stress attack’ focusing on feelings non-judgmentally and letting them go • Discuss Gilbert’s three-emotion regulation system

18. Gilbert’s three-emotion regulation system

19. Developing the soothing system Find a piece of music which evokes feelings of contentment, and set aside a quiet time when you can listen to it – perhaps lying on the couch with the phone turned off, or with headphones in a park if your home is very busy. Allow your muscles to relax, and your breath to slow with the music. Over the coming months, come back to this piece of music from time to time when life gets overly hectic

20. Building mental wellbeing • Connect – connect with the people around you: your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships • Be active – you don't have to go to the gym. Take a walk, go cycling or play a game of football. Find an activity that you enjoy and make it a part of your life • Keep learning – learning new skills can give you a sense of achievement and a new confidence. So why not sign up for that cooking course, start learning to play a musical instrument, or figure out how to fix your bike? • Give to others – even the smallest act can count, whether it's a smile, a thank you or a kind word. Larger acts, such as volunteering at your local community centre, can improve your mental wellbeing and help you build new social networks • Be mindful – be more aware of the present moment, including your thoughts and feelings, your body and the world around you. Some people call this awareness "mindfulness". It can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/improve-mental-wellbeing/

21. Helping clients with complexity, uncertainty and change Use client mindfulness practice to: • Approach, accept and let go of uncertainty • Normalize the desire for control and help use mindfulness to ‘gain control’ by deliberately choosing responses and storylines of resilience and creativity • Discover a ‘still quiet place’ • Let go of the fear of rejection, failure, embarrassment • Stay with not knowing and the unknown • Be less attracted to longed for outcomes • Create innovative solutions • Reappraise and reframe

22. Working with leaders We are moving to more collaborative, coaching-style leadership where self awareness, conscious and compassionate leaders succeed • Boyatzis (2012) model of resonate leadership suggests that the role is stressful causing damaging cycles of dissonance – mindfulness is the renewal • Boyatzis suggests actively cultivating hope, compassion, playfulness and mindfulness • Scouller (2011) integration between the personal, private and public layers – self mastery involves • Gaining control over distracting mental habits • Reducing identification with impulses • Dissolving limiting beliefs in the false self

23. Working with leaders • Scharmer’s Theory U (2017) involves: • Listening to self, others and the collective • Suspending the inner voice for judgement • Sensing – connecting with the heart • Open mind, open heart, open will • Connecting with the deepest sense of self • Lee and Roberts’s Authentic Leadership (2010) • Standing back paying attention to one point of focus • Acknowledging difficult thoughts and feelings • Understanding mental states that underlie your behaviour • Understanding personal triggers and their history • Being open to multiple perspectives • Shifting attention to see events then patterns then structure • Fostering a reflective approach in others/teams

24. Working with leaders • Heifetz Adaptive Leadership (1994) - • Stay clam, focused and clear headed – not on autopilot • View things from the balcony not the dancefloor • Manage yourself as you interact with others • Collaborate with others – move from command and control • Approach problems creatively

25. Creativity • Help clients move to an approach state – open, welcoming of ideas and approaches • Invite clients to play around with ideas, experiences and levels of enjoyment • Start coaching with short mindfulness exercises • Encourage clients to do mindfulness at home and bring mindfulness into work

26. Mindful Coaching: How mindfulness can transform coaching practice Iain McCormick Executive Coaching Centre