June 2012 Parent Workshop

1. Before we start, please record your answers to these two questions: 1. What are the 8 most rewarding things about being a parent of a gifted child? 2. What are the 8 most challenging things about being a parent of a gifted child? June 2012 Parent Workshop

2. You are not alone.

3. 8 BIG BENEFITS OF BEING GT - The KIDS SAID: Our schoolwork in GT classes is more challenging and we learn more We get to do special things – activities, field trips, experiments, projects Our regular schoolwork is easy for us to understand When we’re in special programs and classes, we meet new people and get to be with friends who understand us. We can help others with their work. Our friends and other kids look up to us. We look forward to a bright future. Our GT classes are usually smaller than regular classes so we get extra attention. Data from on a survey of 1000 gifted kids for The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide

4. 8 GREAT GRIPES OF GT KIDS - The KIDS SAID: We miss out on activities other kids get to do while we’re in GT class We have to do extra work in school Other kids ask us for too much help The stuff we do in school is too easy and it’s boring When we finish our schoolwork early, we often aren’t allowed to work ahead Our friends and classmates don’t always understand us, and they don’t see all our different sides Parents, teachers, and even our friends expect too much of us. We’re supposed to get A’s and do our best all the time. Tests, tests, and more tests! Data from on a survey of 1000 gifted kids for The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide

5. Modern Misconceptions about Giftedness – Chapter 1 • Gifted children won’t know they’re different unless someone else tells them. • They’ll make it on their own, without any special help. • They’ve got everything going for them. • They should be disciplined more severely than other kids when they err because they should know better.

6. Modern Misconceptions about Giftedness – Chapter 1 • They need to be kept constantly busy and challenged or they’ll get lazy. • They should be valued for their giftedness above all else. • They don’t need to abide by the usual regulations, and they shouldn’t be held to the normal standards of politeness. • They should be equally mature academically, physically, socially, and emotionally.

7. What is Giftedness? Chapter 2 What do you think giftednessmeans? Write your own definition for giftednesson the back of your entry ticket.

8. What is Giftedness? Chapter 2 • Lewis Termin (“father of gifted education”): • “the top one percent in general intelligence ability” • Joseph Renzulli (director, National Research Center on the Gifted & Talented) “an interaction among three basic • clusters of human traits- above average general abilities, • high levels of task commitment, and high levels of creativity.” • Marland Report“Gifted and talented children are those identified by professionally qualified persons who by virtue of outstanding abilities are capable of high performance. These are children who require differentiated educational programs and/or services beyond those normally provided by the regular school program in order to realize areas of their contribution to self and society.

9. What is Giftedness? Chapter 2 • Howard Gardner (Harvard University): • - His theory of multiple intelligences identified 8 types of intelligences: linguistic, musical, logical-mathematical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalist. • Francoys Gagne (University of Quebec): Defined giftedness as, “Having outstanding natural potential in at least one ability domain. Talent, or outstanding performance, is developed through systematic training and practice.One can be intellectually gifted yet not academically talented, due to underachievement.

10. VBCPS Definition of Giftedness United States Office of Education definition of Gifted and Talented Students "those who have outstanding abilities, are capable of high performance and who require differentiated educational programs (beyond those normally provided by regular school programs) in order to realize their contribution to self and society.“ 2010 Office of Gifted Education

11. Living With Your Gifted ChildChapter 3 • Endless Questions- • Put together a set of reference books, be honest with tougher questions. • Remember When? • Gifted kids have excellent memories, don’t make promises you can’t keep • Asynchronous (Out of Sync) Development- • Need others like them to play with and share ideas, don’t punish your child for acting childish (age appropriate) • Motor Skills Gap- • Try dictating, tape recorder, develop small muscles, practice keyboarding skills • Young Lawyers- • Set a few important rules and stick to them, listen carefully to child’s arguments

12. Living With Your Gifted ChildChapter 3 • Company of Adults- • Helping is fine, but don’t get caught in the trap of talking for your gifted child • Risk-Taking / Fear of Failure • Give them permission to try something and see what happens, model struggle • Fast Learners, Deep Learners • Help with meeting deadlines for school/own projects. Time-line with interim goals, break up projects • Sound Minds in Sound Bodies • Need lots of physical activity, use imagination • Intense Concentration and Relaxation • Help child learn to wind down, find a safe, quiet, peaceful place to relax, help them find balance • Neatness . . .Not! • Respect belongings, teach clutter-management / organization

13. The Gifted Label • The purpose of the label is to alert educators and parents that: • Regular curriculum not likely to develop and support potential for creative thinking and problem solving • May be special social and emotional needs understanding and coping with being intellectually advanced beyond age and peer group • Working with peers of similar ability can be a humbling experience. • The elitist attitude originates when the gifted student is the only one in class who gets the correct answer or is always the one who offers it first. Focus on who the child is as a person, not gifted • Knowing that other kids have similar response times can be a real growth experience. – KLMS can be a rude awakening.

14. Falling Through the Cracks • Giftedness is not always obvious – challenges may mask giftedness & many do not fit the stereotype: low achievers from poverty very quiet students 2E students very high energy ADHD ESL • Be sure your child’s needs are met in the classroom – ask questions • All children have a right to learn new information, make at least a year’s growth in a year, and to learn how to struggle with difficult tasks. • GRTs are your gifted child’s advocate – our job description!

15. 2E • 3 Clues to 2E - Gifted & LD • Evidence of an outstanding talent or ability • Evidence of a discrepancy between expected and actual achievement • Evidence of a processing deficit • Need strategies: tutoring, consistent programming, peer group support, mentorships, integrated studies, individualized attention, and kind words. • Crave honest, positive comments and encouragement, not nagging. • Focus on what they can do, rather than on what they can't do.

16. Gifted Girls • Our society does not always support or value smart women • High ability women may come across as unfeminine, aggressive, pushy – the same behavior our society rewards in boys and men • Problems more likely in middle and high school years – dating may exacerbate issue – don’t want to seem smarter than potential boyfriend • Parental role to support girls with opportunities to nurture strengths

17. Gifted Girls: Ability vs. Self-image • Perception of ability and self-image need to match • Need to understand and embrace giftedness • Have friends who value her abilities & are not threatened by them – gifted peers on a regular basis when possible • Keep focus on school achievement not just excelling socially (sign that girl needs help with the above) • Find role models in community and books • Encourage wide range of activities and interests

18. More on Gifted Girls • Encourage interest in math and science – subscribe to science magazines, museums, experiments, workshops… • Discuss gender stereotypes when encountered (esp TV & rock videos/concerts) • Encourage her to spend time w/ male role models on activity they both enjoy – even if typically masculine • Support her passion or healthy obsession with an interest or hobby • Show you value her abilities, hard work, and worth as a person

19. Coping With Problems You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mohandas Gandhi • How can I raise a self-confident kid? • How can I understand and cope with my child's super-sensitivity? • How do I deal with perfectionism? • When does normal gifted behavior cross over into the danger zone? • When and how should I get help? • Sally Yahnke Walker Ph.D.. The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids: How to Understand, Live With, and Stick Up for Your Gifted Child (Kindle Locations 720-722). Kindle Edition. Book pages 65-82) [Next 3 slides]

20. Self-CONFIDENCE: -Help your child find role models whether through books, historical figures, or contemporaries, family members, successful teens, teachers, coaches, etc. -Help find them to find a passion/interest to develop and focus on (ex. Community service that makes a difference, team sport, visual/performing arts, etc.) -Volunteer together (model) - Help develop friendship skills and also allow time to for creative discovery with plenty of unscheduled free time - Praise work-ethic and process, not just the end-product

21. Super-sensitivities = OVEREXCITABILITIES: • Psychomotor • Sensual • Intellectual • Imaginational • Emotional

22. Dealing with OVEREXCITABILITIES: • First - Don’t get overexcited or too worried about it ! • Focus on the positives of your child’s strong feelings, energy, passion • Validate your child’s uniqueness • Respect her abilities and positive interests by helping her to have the time to spend doing what she loves – don’t overschedule • Model appropriate and polite social or communication skills • Use “teachable moments” to discuss tact and diplomacy with critical observations of others or processes, avoid cynicism • Teach stress management as well as time management • Intense learners need a comfortable or calm environment; help your child to have a haven of safety to explore and/or decompress.

23. Dealing with PERFECTIONISM: • One of the most destructive problems some gifted kids face • Trying to achieve some ideal version of success • Setting unrealistically demanding goals – setting up failure and feelings of worthlessness • May avoid new experiences • Never risk something that isn’t familiar • Can be the root cause of underachievement and procrastination • Children need to know learning means taking risks • Learning takes practice, trial and error, thus not achieved on first attempt; model your own mistakes and positive coping skills for same • Missing a goal does not mean failure (just restructure) • Compliment the work process and do not solely focus on grade or outcome; self-worth is not dependent on performance/grades • Do not overpraise all accomplishments and do not criticize • Ask questions • Some can develop tics, ulcers, or nervous disorders without an outlet to relieve stress • Exercise, relaxation, good eating habits, fun and laughter help

24. Need help? • Counseling can be very beneficial to gifted students, and it is not an imperfection to seek help. • Gifted students also possess a strong perseverance that can be accessed as a positive coping strategy with proper guidance and support. • A counselor can assist gifted students in understanding and coping with their unique intellectual, social, and emotional needs during various stages of their development… Working from a holistic growth perspective, school counselors [can help students] make sense of the [components of their personality and worth] beyond the merely intellectual [to understanding and acknowledging] their social and emotional realms as well. (2007 Association for Counselor Education and Supervision Conference, October 11-14, Columbus, Ohio, handout, page 5.)