The Impact of Personalities in Bargaining

1. The Impact of Personalitiesin Bargaining Presented at: IASB  IASA  IASBO 79th Joint Annual Conference on: Saturday, November 19, 2011 by: Susan Harkin,  CFO-Crystal Lake CCSD #47 Luann Mathis, Business Manager-Prospect Heights School District 23 Brad Shortridge, Assistant Superintendent- Genoa-Kingston CUSD #424

2. Negotiations Yikes! Anyone look forward to negotiations?

3. Our Focus Today • The Art of Listening • Understanding the Personalities at the Table • Make Every Message Count

4. Listening Luann Mathis

5. How Well do you Listen? Activity

6. Listening Skills: The Key to Successful Negotiations • Hearing is with your ears, listening is with the mind • Keith Davis, Human Behavior & work • Listening is playing catch with words • To play catch, both parties must participate • Dr. Mortimer Adler

7. Skillful Active Listening Can • Calm tensions • Break Impasse • Get information needed to build creative ideas

8. Then - Why Don’t We Listen? • Our brain is faster than our mouth • We speak 125-150 words/minutes • We listen to 400 words/minute • Our brain can process 1,000-1,500 words/minute!! • Untrained listener understands/retains 50% of conversation! • Experts suggest that we all make at least one major listening mistake/day.

9. Pitfalls of Listening • Negotiating is a job of persuasion - persuasion means talking NOT listening • See talking as an active role • See listening as a passive role • Over preparation of what you are going to say • Emotional filters or blinders

10. Bad Habits – Are you one of these? • Attention Faker • Fact Gather • Criticizer • Boring • Blockers • Distracter • Note Taker • Mental Rehearser

11. We Educate our Students in • Reading, Writing & Speech • When in reality our skill set requirements are: • 9% Writing • 16% Reading • 30% Speaking • 45% Listening

12. Why Effective Listening? • Increase your Knowledge • Save Time • Reduce Stress • Real Dialogue • Trust • Understand • Self-Esteem • Influence & Power • Develop your Potential

13. To Be a Great Listener • One must develop listening skills: • Be Interactive • Be Attentive • It does not come easily!! • Skills will help you to better receive true meanings your speaker is trying to convey!

14. Attention Attention!! • Be motivated to listen • Ask questions if you must speak • Be alert to nonverbal clues • Allow speaker to tell their story first • DO NOT interrupt • Fight off distractions

15. Are you being Attentive? • Do not trust your memory. • Listen with a goal in mind. • Give speaker undivided attention. • React to message - not person • DO NOT get angry • It is impossible to listen and speak at the same time.

16. Are you listening to me?? • Interacting with speaker by: • Ensuring that you understand what they are communicating to you. • Acknowledge the sender’s feelings.

17. How do we Ensure & Acknowledge Speaker?? • Clarify information • Verify or paraphrase the speaker’s words • Reflect - be empathetic - acknowledge the speaker’s feelings. • To create win/win listeners MUST be empathetic • Empathy is a skill not a memory that affects the counterpart’s behavior and attitudes.

18. To be Empathetic: • Need to accurately perceive message content • Give attention to emotional components and unexpressed core meanings of the message • Attend to the feelings of speaker • BUT remain detached!!! Do not become sympathetic! • Make no judgments - pass along no opinions - do not provide solutions!

19. Empathetic but not Sympathetic?? • That’s right - they are two different things! • Webster defines them: • Empathy - the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experience of another. • Sympathy - An affinity, association or relationship between persons or things where in whatever affects one similarly affects the other.

20. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason - use them in their respective proportions!

21. Final Thoughts The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought and attended to my answer. • Henry David Thoreau Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it. • Jack Nichols

22. Understanding Personalities Susan Harkin

23. Ladder of Inference A common mental pathway of increasing abstraction, often leading to misguided beliefs. The automatic and unconscious process of forming beliefs.

24. At the Bargaining Table What if you…….. • actively listened? • understood the personality characteristics present? • were able to see other’s words through their own lens? How could that impact the bargaining process?

25. Personality Tests • Aim to describe • aspects of a person's character that remain stable throughout that person's lifetime, • the individual's character pattern of behavior, thoughts and feelings

26. Examples of Personality Tests • Woodworth Personal data sheet • Rorschach inkblot test • Myers-Briggs Type • Keirsey Temperament Sorter • 16PF Questionnaire • Five Factor Personality

27. True Colors – Valuing Differences and Creating Unity Uses color symbols to demonstrate different temperaments Appreciates differences of individuals Harnesses human potential by captivating motivation By creating a positive environment, provides knowledge as a catalyst for successful behavior and interaction

28. Who are you dealing with at the Bargaining Table? Activity

29. ORANGE Action Over Words Dislikes Routine Competitive Quick Reaction To Situations Here & Now Negotiator Live For Today Entertainer Doer Freedom To ActTo Have Impulses Skill Variety ACTION Virtuosity In Skill Impulsive Fraternal ESTEEM Expediency Performance Pragmatist VALUES Risk Taker Entrepreneur Thrill Seeker ABILITIES Spontaneous BEHAVIOR

30. GOLD Structures Sequentially Keeps To Schedule Measurement & Evaluation Parental Meticulous Bonding Relationships Caretaker Practice / Drill Serving Rules Skill Decision Making Belonging Responsibility Constant Family & Home DUTY Society Careful ESTEEM Decisive Commitments Trust Organization Sets Up Procedures VALUES Seeks Closure Dependable ABILITIES Responsible BEHAVIOR

31. BLUE Romantic Idealist Self Actualization Perceptiveof Feelings Self Improvement Personal Relationships Verbal Expression Cause Oriented Vivacious Harmony GoodSocialSkills Wholeness Uniqueness Ethics SELF Interaction ESTEEM Unity Openness Dramatic Authenticity Catalyst Cooperation NaturalStroker VALUES Persuasive Global Perspective Emotional ABILITIES Metamorphic Charismatic BEHAVIOR

32. GREEN Often Not In Mainstream Escalates Standards Constructs Conceptual Models Perfectionist Scientific Inquiry Sees Possibilities Sets Standards Plays On Words Belonging Responsibility Perpetual Student Progress Logic POWER Theoretical Qualified Spoken Language Logical ESTEEM Clarity Intelligence Hair Splitting VALUES Analytical Concentration Universal Principles Dislikes Redundancies ABILITIES Impatient with Incompetence BEHAVIOR

33. Orange may see SELFas: • Fun-loving, enjoys life • Spontaneous • Flexible, adaptable • Carefree • Proficient, capable • Hands-on person • Practical • Problem-solver • Good negotiator • Do many things at once • Eclectic • Can deal with chaos • Curious, welcomes ideas • Superior ability to discriminate among options • See shades of gray

34. OTHERSsee Orange as • Irresponsible • Flaky • Goofs off too much • Disobeys rules • Manipulative • Not to be trusted • Not able to stay on task • Scattered • Cluttered • Uncontrollable • Resists closure or decisions • Indecisive • Obnoxious • Not a team player

35. GOLD may See SELF as: • Stable • Providing security • Dependable • Firm • Always have a view • Efficient • Realistic • Decisive • Executive type • Good planner • Orderly, neat • Good at sorting and • weeding out • Organized person • Punctual • Goal oriented • Seeks closure

36. OTHERS see Gold as • Rigid • Controlling • Dull, boring • Stubborn • Opinionated • System Bound • Unimaginative • Judgmental • Bossy, controlling • Uptight • Predictable • Autocratic

37. Blue may see SELFas: • Compassionate • Warm • Romantic • Spiritual • Idealistic • Work tirelessly for cause • Unselfish • Empathetic • Affirming • Caretaker • Relate current experiences with past ones • Likes to please people • Wanting harmony • Great communicator • Trusting

38. OTHERS see Blue as: • Overly emotional • Bleeding heart • Mushy • Hopelessly naïve • Too tender hearted • Easily duped • Too touchy-feely • Too nice • Too trusting • Smothering • Stuck in/lives in past • Groveling • Fawning • Soft • Talks too much • Push over

39. Green may See SELF as • Superior intellect • 98% right • Powerful • Creative • Visionary • Original • Reasonable • Rational • Calm, not emotional • Under control • Precise, not repetitive • Able to find flaws • Objective • Seeking justice • Firm-minded

40. OTHERSsee Green as • Intellectual snob • Arrogant • Heartless • Doesn’t care about people • Ruthless • Unrealistic • Eccentric, weird • Emotionally controlled • Cool, aloof, unfeeling • Afraid to open up • Critical, fault finding • Devaluing relational aspects • Lacking mercy, unfair • Unappreciative of others • Stingy with praise

41. Improving Personal Relationships with a Bright Orange • Valuing their playfulness • Recognizing their need for freedom • Helping them to think before they act • Spontaneously playing with them • Realizing their stress comes from lack excitement • Reinforcing their optimism • Praising their skills • Responding to their generosity

42. Improving Personal Relationships with a Bright Gold • Caring about their need for security • Doing some reasonable planning • Praising their responsible actions • Remembering sentimental moments • Acknowledging their stability • Responding to important dates

43. Improving Personal Relationships with a Bright Blue • Making romantic gestures • Having intimate talks • Recognizing their need to contribute • Providing the warm touch and embrace • Reassuring your loving commitment • Expressing your feelings • Being open and responsive

44. Improving Personal Relationships with a Bright Green • Praising their ingenuity • Recognizing their need for independence • Valuing their abstract thinking • Helping them with day to day details • Preserving their privacy to think and read • Accepting their lack of romantic gestures • Realizing their stress comes from the fear of appearing foolish • Allowing them to be self-critical • Understanding that they esteem them- selves by being competent

45. Stressors . • Pressure • Exhaustion • Busy Schedule • Time Constraints • Change

46. Stress Reducers:ORANGE ♣ Sports ♣ High Risk Behavior ♣ Amusement Parks ♣ Ski Diving ♣ Skiing ♣Scary Movies

47. Stress Reducers: GOLD ♣ Fishing ♣ Jacuzzis ♣ Deep Breathing ♣ Reading ♣ Massage ♣ Sunbathing

48. Stress Reducers: BLUE ♣ Fun ♣ Exercise ♣ Sex ♣ Relaxation ♣ Music ♣ Movies & Plays

49. Stress Reducers: GREEN ♣ Meditation ♣ Puzzles ♣ Science Fiction ♣ Yoga ♣ Escape to Different Reality

50. Stroking the Orange Person ♣ Outcome bases, short term goals will be most effective. Focus on behavior and performance more than the finished product. ♣ Reward by freeing them to act on their own initiative. ♣ Tangible rewards & competitive situations create stronger incentives. ♣Set high expectations which challenge their skills causing them to know they have really earned the recognition received ♣ Clearly identify the impact their performance has on the organization ♣ Give them the chance to experience things new, novel, and exciting. ♣Provide opportunities to make decisions that don’t conflict with group goals. ♣ Be their cheering section. ♣Provide opportunities to defy risks, for self-expression, and to develop a variety of skills.