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Neglected Disciplines III

Neglected Disciplines III. Self Talk . Self talk. Developing Gospel Self-Talk as a Spiritual Discipline. Self Talk. Definition The habit, or practice of talking to yourself - either out loud or in your head. Self Talk - Negative. Two kinds of negative self talk. Rationalising Sin.

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Neglected Disciplines III

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  1. Neglected Disciplines III Self Talk

  2. Self talk Developing Gospel Self-Talk as a Spiritual Discipline

  3. Self Talk Definition The habit, or practice of talking to yourself - either out loud or in your head

  4. Self Talk - Negative Two kinds of negative self talk Rationalising Sin

  5. Self talk - negative Confirming us in ungodly choices “But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, ‘My master is staying away a long time,’ and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards” (Mt 24:48-49).

  6. Self talk - negative Reinforcing spiritual complacency “This is the carefree city that lived in safety. She said to herself, ‘I am, and there is none besides me’” Zeph2:15.

  7. Self talk - negative Listening to our negative feelings and thoughts Why do you say, Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Isaiah 40:27

  8. Self talk - Positive Positive self talk: Talking to ourselves not listening to our selves

  9. Self talk – Positive: Martyn Lloyd-Jones We must learn to take ourselves in hand. … we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us! the main trouble is that we allow our self to talk to instead of talking to our self….. most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday. Someone is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you.

  10. Self talk: Positive You have to take yourself in hand; you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. This self of ours this other man, within us, has got to be handled. Do not listen to him, turn on him; speak to him; condemn him; upbraid him; exhort him; encourage him; remind him of what you know instead of listening placidly to him and allowing him to drag you down and depress you. For that is what he will always do if allow him to be in control. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

  11. Self Talk • Questions

  12. Biblical Self talk – in the Psalms 27:8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek. 57:8 Awake, my soul!Awake, harp and lyre!I will awaken the dawn. 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. 103: 1-2 Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 116:7 Return to your rest, my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.

  13. Scriptural Self-talk: A Case Study - depression Psalm 42

  14. Scriptural Self-talk: A Case Study - depression Name your thoughts and feelings As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my foodday and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God. Why my soul are you so downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Psalm 42:1-4

  15. Scriptural Self-talk: depression Question the negative thoughts and feelings biblically and rationally Why, my soul, are youdowncast? Why so disturbed within me? Psalm 42:5,11; 43:5

  16. Scriptural Self-talk: depression Challenge the negative and distorted thoughts and feelings By day the Lord directs his love at night his song is with me – v. 8

  17. Scriptural Self-talk: depression Reevaluate I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God – v. 5b

  18. Scriptural Self-talk: depression Preach to yourself Put your hope in God! – v. 5b

  19. Scriptural Self-talk: depression Repeat if necessary Psalm 42:9-11 Psalm 43:1-5

  20. Scriptural Self-talk: depression Questions?

  21. Self Talk SUMMARY Name the negative thoughts and feelings Spot your cognitive distortions Work out a more constructive, biblically driven way of looking at it Preach this to yourself with reasons and vigour!

  22. Scriptural Self Talk: developing the habit What are the situations where I need it most?

  23. Scriptural Self Talk: developing the habit What are the kinds of distorted, imbalanced, exaggerated, irrational and above all unbiblical negative thinking which I tend to experience, tolerate without challenge and listen to? Because how and what we think has a huge influence on how we feeland do

  24. Self-talk: CHECKLIST OF COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS • Am I affected by All-or-nothing thinking: Am I looking at things in absolute, black-and-white categories?* “Either I cook a perfect meal or it’s a waste of time”. • Am I Overgeneralizing? Am I viewing a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat?* • “I have missed a quiet time just like I always do’

  25. Self-talk: CHECKLIST OF COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS • Am I Catastrophizing? Seeing things as worse than they are ‘Being late for the party will be a total disaster’

  26. Self Talk: CHECKLIST OF COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS • Am I Dwelling on the negatives and Discounting the positives? ‘It’s a totally rubbish situation’ • Am I succumbing to my natural pessimism? ‘we are all doomed’

  27. Self Talk: CHECKLIST OF COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS • Am I Jumping to conclusions: (A) Mind reading- assuming that people are reacting negatively to you when there's no definite evidence for this ‘She must be thinking that I am a useless person.’ (B) Fortune-telling-arbitrarily predicting that things will turn out badly. ’The meeting is definitely going to go terribly.’

  28. Self Talk: CHECKLIST OF COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS • LeavingGod out. How am I discounting the reality, promises and presence of God in this situation? • LeavingGrace out. How am I minimizing the grace of the gospel in this situation?

  29. Scriptural Self-talk: Developing the Habit What kinds of negative thinking affect you?

  30. Self Talk: CHALLENGING OUR COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS Is this • Biblical? • Rational? How can I challenge my distorted thinking with the Gospel and with Reality?

  31. Self Talk: Work out a more constructive approach What is a more constructive, biblically driven way of looking at it?

  32. Self talk • Questions?

  33. Self Talk: A WORKING EXAMPLE My problem: I feel anxious about seeing Tom for my annual review. He seemed a bit annoyed when my report was late. I feel that he will be highly critical of me. I’m such a loser. I fear that I am going to be demoted or lose my job. Then how will we cope? This makes me very nervous – I feel agitated, my tummy is dancing, I’m not sleeping well.

  34. Self Talk: A WORKING EXAMPLE Spotting cognitive distortions Catastrophizing Mind reading Fortune telling Discounting positives Dwelling on negatives Leaving God out Leaving grace out

  35. Self Talk: A WORKING EXAMPLE Tom is a good boss and any criticism will be constructive I am not a perfect manager – but who is? And does it matter? I do my job ok and both Tom and more importantly God know that! What is the worst that is likely to happen? After all, God has promised to take care of me and nothing is outside his control What is a more constructive, biblically driven way of looking at it?

  36. Self Talk: A WORKING EXAMPLE ‘You are being too negative! You are leaving God out!’ Preach this to yourself with reasons!

  37. Self talk • Questions?

  38. Self Talk BIBLICAL SELF TALK – not just for depression and anxiety! When we don’t feel like worship – Psalm 103: 1-5

  39. Self talk – about worship Praise the Lord my soul! – Psalm 103: 1 ‘David is talking to himself and he is no fool that thus talks to himself and excites his own soul to that which is good.’Matthew Henry on Psalm 103

  40. Self Talk BIBLICAL SELF TALK – not just for depression and anxiety! When we don’t feel like worship – Psalm 103: 1-5 When we feel a long way from God – Psalm 27:8 When we feel restless – Psalms 62:5, 116:7 When our souls are low on energy– Psalm 57:8

  41. Self talk - exercises • Either do one of the exercises in section 4 • Or think through the pattern in section 3 for yourself

  42. Self talk when we feel dryness in worship Read Psalm 103:1-5 How does David rouse his soul to worship ? What could we learn from his approach? Write a dialogue with yourself on a Sunday morning when you don’t feel like goin

  43. Self talk with inner turmoil Psa. 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

  44. Self talk with inner turmoil Return to your rest, my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. Psalm. 116:7

  45. Self talk when we are spiritually flat Psa. 57:8 Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. Psa. 104:1 Praise the LORD, my soul.

  46. Self Talk in Scripture: listening to positive voices within My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek.Psalm 27:8

  47. Self talk when we feel miserable or worshipless • Praise the Lord, my soul;    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.2 Praise the Lord, my soul,    and forget not all his benefits –3 who forgives all your sins    and heals all your diseases,4 who redeems your life from the pit    and crowns you with love and compassion,5 who satisfies your desires with good things    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. • How does David persuade himself to praise the Lord in Psalm 103

  48. Questions

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