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Dysfunctional Families

This article explores the characteristics of dysfunctional families, specifically focusing on troubled parents and the negative effects they can have on their children. It examines various forms of abuse such as physical, sexual, and verbal, as well as the roles played by different family members.

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Dysfunctional Families

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  1. Dysfunctional Families Most dysfunctional families are a direct outgrowth of TROUBLED PARENTS.

  2. Troubled parents may: • Have addictions • Use physical violence • May be unable to provide • Exploit children (use them as possessions, use strong authoritarian control)

  3. Regardless of the parents’ intentions, children may suffer: • Depression • Live troubled lives • By withdrawing from society • Have low self-esteem

  4. Abusive Parents 1. Physical- satisfying their emotions by taking their anger out on their children, by not correcting their children, by using little effort to control their children.

  5. 2. Sexual –Contact between an adult and child that must be kept secret.

  6. 3. Verbal – Frequent belittling or criticism, using profanity toward their children, verbally abusing them instead of their actions.

  7. Roles in a Dysfunctional Family • Addict-a family member that is under the influence of alcohol, drugs, porn, work, etc. to the point of disrupting the family. • Enabler-a family member that allows the addict to continue their addiction; excuses, ignoring the problem, denial, etc.

  8. Family Hero Child: • “9 going on 40” • Takes over parent role, early • Responsible • Self-sufficient • Looks good on the outside • Good student, good in sports, prom queen, etc • Make parents look good

  9. Family Hero Adult: • Controlling, judgmental, compulsive, driven • “Success” on the outside • Cut off from their inner emotional life • Hard time admitting that there is anything that needs to be healed.

  10. Scapegoat (Child) • Family feels ashamed of • Acts out the tension the family ignores • Provides distractions from real issues • Has trouble in school • Becomes pregnant or addicted as teenagers

  11. Scapegoat (Adult) • Become cynical and distrustful • Have a lot of self-hatred • Can be very self-destructive • Usually first to get help

  12. Lost Child (Child) • Attempts to be invisible • Daydream, fantasize, read a lot, watch TV • Deal with reality by withdrawing from it • Deny they have feelings • Don’t bother getting upset

  13. Lost Child (Adult) • Unable to feel • Low self-esteem • Terrified of intimacy • Relationship phobia • Withdrawn, shy, socially isolated

  14. Mascot/Family Clown (Child) • Takes responsibility for emotional well-being of family • “Social” director/clown • Diverts family’s attention from the pain and anger

  15. Mascot/Family Clown (Adult) • Valued for kind heart, generosity, ability to listen to others • Whole self is centered on others • Don’t get their own needs met • Cannot receive love only give it • Work in “helping” professions to overcome • Have low self worth and guilt and to overcome, work hard to be nice

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