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Tool Kit for Life

Tool Kit for Life. 8 Life Skills. #1 Unconditional Self-Acceptance #2 Recognize Mistaken Goals #3 Evaluate your thoughts,feelings, and actions #5 Internal Locus of Control. Skill #5 Internal Locus of Control page 9. The real formula for feelings Event + Thoughts = Feeling.

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Tool Kit for Life

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  1. Tool KitforLife

  2. 8 Life Skills • #1 Unconditional Self-Acceptance • #2 Recognize Mistaken Goals • #3 Evaluate your thoughts,feelings, and actions • #5 Internal Locus of Control

  3. Skill #5Internal Locus of Controlpage 9

  4. The real formula forfeelingsEvent + Thoughts = Feeling

  5. Thoughts cause feelings,not events

  6. Event + Thoughts = FeelingEverything otherssay and doand that happens is just anEVENT

  7. It’s YOUR choice…. • How you look at things • What meaning you attach • What you remember about the past • What you imagine will happen next • What you expect (self, others, life) • What you focus on • What you compare things to • How much importance you attach • What you spend your time thinking about

  8. It’s YOUR choicehow you want to feel

  9. No one upsets you, you upset yourself • You are responsible for how you feel, not others • It’s not their problem if you feel bad, it’s yours • It’s not their job to make you feel better, it’s yours

  10. Event + Thoughts = Feeling “It’s just an EVENT”Is NOT intended to bediscountingof a tragic eventin your life

  11. “It’s your choice how you want to feel”does NOT mean… • You shouldn’t feel the way you do • It’s your fault you feel that way • There’s something wrong with you for feeling that way • It’s okay others said or did something • You’re making a big deal out of nothing

  12. It simply meansthere will always be more than one wayto look at anything

  13. And some ways will makeyou feel BETTERAnd others will make youfeel WORSE

  14. Some will make it EASIERto deal with thingsOthers will make it HARDER

  15. And you do have aCHOICE

  16. Developing an Internal LOC also means… • To learn what you do and don’t control • To focus on and work with what you do control

  17. The Reality is…. • We can’t control what others think, feel, say and do • We only control what we think, feel, say and do

  18. Furthermore…. • Others can think, feel, say and do whatever they want to • They don’t have to think, feel, say or do anything • Least of all what we want them to

  19. It also means…To avoid taking unnecessaryresponsibility for howothers make themselves feel

  20. You’re responsible forwhat you say and do But not for how othersmake themselves feel about it

  21. People can upset themselvesas little or as muchas they want to

  22. It’s THEIR choice…. • How THEY look at things • What meaning THEY attach • What THEY remember about the past • What THEY imagine will happen next • What THEY expect (self, others, life) • What THEY focus on • What THEY compare things to • How much importance THEY attach

  23. It’s THEIR choicehow THEY want to feel

  24. No one upsets them, they upset themselves • You’re not responsible for how they feel, they are • It’s not your problem if they upset themselves, it’s theirs • It’s not your job to make them feel better, it’s theirs

  25. Selling Points • Having real Power • Stop giving away power and control you do have • Being and feeling in control • Feeling the way YOU want to feel • Best way to get even is to feel good

  26. But most of allBeing smarter than everyone else

  27. Life Skill #4Understand why change is hard, and what it takes to make changes(page 6)

  28. FactEverything you think, feel, say and dois a product ofconnections and pathwaysbetween nerve cellsin your brain

  29. It then becomesAUTOMATICto think, feel, say and do things

  30. Types of RUTS • Cognitive (thinking) • Emotional (feeling) • Behavioral (doing)

  31. RUTS • Why people tend to recreate their past • Why peoples history often becomes their destiny • That could be good or bad

  32. Important • Once RUTS are created, you can’t get rid of them • You can only make new ones

  33. To Change • Make a new connection to think, feel, and do things differently • Use it until it becomes a RUT • Until it can compete with your old RUTS

  34. You can alwaysslip back into your old RUTS

  35. UnderstandablePart of being human

  36. Skill #3Recognize and Correct Irrational Thinking(page 13)

  37. Remember • Thoughts cause feelings, not events • Attitude is the father of behavior

  38. Recognizing Irrational Thinking • Demandiness • Awfulizing • Can’t Stand It-itis • Label and Damning

  39. Demandiness

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