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Bruin Leaders Training II Dec. 3, 2012

Bruin Leaders Training II Dec. 3, 2012. Responding Skills. Responding is what we say after we have listened. It has two goals. To show the speaker that we understand him or her. To help the speaker to talk more about his or her problem. Responding Skills. Paraphrasing and Reflecting

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Bruin Leaders Training II Dec. 3, 2012

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  1. Bruin LeadersTraining IIDec. 3, 2012

  2. Responding Skills • Responding is what we say after we have listened. It has two goals. • To show the speaker that we understand him or her. • To help the speaker to talk more about his or her problem

  3. Responding Skills • Paraphrasing and Reflecting • Paraphrasing is saying things in different words that someone has said. • Reflecting is mirroring or telling back the other person’s feelings. • Reflecting has three parts • You feel • Because • Is that it? • Paraphrasing and relecting show others that we understand them and encourage them to continue talking

  4. Clarifying and Questioning • Clarifying: When we aren’t sure we understand what the person is saying, we ask clarifying questions. • Do I understand you? Are you saying…? • When you say “trash talking” what do you mean? • I think I got lost. Could you go over that again?

  5. Staying Focused, Summarizing and Pointing Out Contradictions • Staying Focused: When a person drifts away from talking about his or her problem, use open ended questions like “Tell me more about…” • Summarizing: Making a statement that highlights those things which you have heard and thought to be important. • Pointing out Contractions: Follow specific rules for calling attentions to disagreements in the person ‘s thinking.

  6. Rules for Pointing Out Contradictions • Ask permission first (“May I…?” • Say it as if you’re not sure (“I think….?) • Be very gentle when saying it. For example, “I think I hear you saying two things that disagree. May I tell you what they are?” Practice: Joey says that science class is very easy but also says that he always fails science tests.

  7. Decision Making Skills • Four Step Decision Making Process • Define the problem. • Explore Alternatives and Consequences • Choose What to Do • Follow it Up. Remember: Not to decide is to decide.

  8. Practice Laura recently became friends with Cindy and started hanging out with her. Because Cindy is allowed to stay out late at night, Laura’s parents thing Cindy is a bad influence on her. They have forbidden Laura to see Cindy. Laura is upset because she really likes Cindy a lot and wants to keep her friendship. What can Laura do?

  9. Suggesting Alternatives • WAIT: Don’t be too quick to offer suggestions. Let the person come up with his or her own ideas first. Ask questions like “What can you do?” or “What else could you do?” • Phrase the Alternative as a question: “What would happen if you were to…?” or “Have you thought about…?” • Check out the Consequences: Ask three questions: • How will this be helpful to you? • How will this be harmful to you? • Will it get you into trouble?

  10. When to Refer • Suicide • Abuse • Pregnancy • Alcohol or other drug involvement • Family alcohol or other drug problems • Illegal acts • Depression • Serious Emotional Problems • Health Problems • Any other problem which makes you feel uncomfortable

  11. Whom to Refer to • Guidance Counselor • School Nurse • Principal • Center Principal • Teacher

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