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Relational Development and Maintenance

Explore models for relational development and maintenance through managing dialectical tensions like connection-autonomy, openness-privacy, and predictability-novelty. Discover strategies like denial, disorientation, alternation, and integration for balanced communication.

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Relational Development and Maintenance

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  1. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models of Relational Development • Dialectical Perspectives • Communicators seek important but inherently incompatible goals through their relationship • Dialectical Tensions • Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously • Managing dialectical tensions can create the most powerful dynamic in relational communication

  2. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Dialectical Tensions • Connection versus Autonomy • We seek out involvement with others • We are unwilling to sacrifice our entire identity to even the most satisfying relationship • One of the most common reasons for relational breakups involve failure of partners to satisfy each other’s needs for connection • “We barely spent any time together.” • “I was feeling trapped.”

  3. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Dialectical Tensions • Openness versus Privacy • Along with the need to disclose, we have an equally important drive to maintain space • Even the strongest relationships require some distance • Predictability versus Novelty • Too much predictability can lead to feelings of staleness • The challenge is to juggle the desire for predictability with the desire for novelty that keeps a relationship fresh

  4. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • In one study married couples reported: • Connection-autonomy was the most frequent (30.8%) • Predictability –novelty was second (21.7%) • Openness-privacy was least (12.7%)

  5. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • Other Strategies • Denial • Reporting to one end of the dialectical spectrum and ignoring the other • Disorientation • Communicators feel so overwhelmed and helpless they are unable to confront their problems • Alternation • Alternating between extremes on the spectrum

  6. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • Other Strategies • Segmentation • Partners use this tactic to compartmentalize different areas of their relationship • Balance • Communicators try to balance dialectical tensions • Integration • Simultaneously accept opposing forces without trying to diminish them

  7. Relational Development and Maintenance • Models for Relational Development • Managing Dialectical Tensions • Other Strategies • Recalibration • Responding to dialectical challenges by reframing them so that apparent contradictions disappear • Reaffirmation • This strategy acknowledges that dialectical tensions will never disappear

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