Sentence variety

1. Sentence variety

2. Vary sentence length • Sentences average between 15 and 25 words, but you want variety. • Make some very short (under 10 words) • Make some very long (about 40 words)

3. Problem: Short sentences • If most of your sentences are short (10-15 words or less): • Your ideas may seem equally important • The link between them might not be clear • The tone is monotonous

4. Problem: Short sentences • Example: • Astronomy may seem a remote science. It may seem to have little to do with people’s daily lives. Many astronomers find otherwise. They see their science as soothing. It gives perspective to everyday routines and problems.

5. Problem: Short sentences • Example (note sentence length): • Astronomy may seem a remote science.(6) It may seem to have little to do with people’s daily lives.(12) Many astronomers find otherwise.(4) They see their science as soothing.(6) It gives perspective to everyday routines and problems.(8)

6. Solution: Short sentences • Combine short, choppy sentences into longer units that link related information and stress main ideas.

7. Solution: Short sentences • Revised: • Astronomy may seem a remote science having little to do with people’s daily lives, but many astronomers find their science soothing because it gives perspective to everyday routines and problems.(30)

8. Problem: Long sentences • If too many of your sentences are long (more than 35 words), your main ideas won’t stand out from details • Solution: Break some of the long sentences into shorter, simpler ones

9. Problem: Long sentences • Revised: • Astronomy may seem a remote science having little to do with people’s daily lives.(14) However, many astronomers find their science soothing because it gives perspective to everyday routines and problems.(16)

10. Problem: Formulaic writing • Don’t always start with a subject • An English sentence often begins with a subject, but watch for unbroken sequences of sentences like this.

11. Problem: Formulaic writing • Monotonous: • The defendant’s lawyer was determined to break the prosecution’s witness. He relentlessly cross-examined the witness for a week. The witness had expected to be dismissed within an hour and was visibly irritated. She did not cooperate. She was reprimanded by the judge.

12. Problem: Formulaic writing • Note the subject in each sentence: • The defendant’s lawyer was determined to break the prosecution’s witness. He relentlessly cross-examined the witness for a week. The witness had expected to be dismissed within an hour and was visibly irritated. She did not cooperate. She was reprimanded by the judge.

13. Problem: Formulaic writing • Solution: Begin some sentences with transitional expressions and modifiers: • The defendant’s lawyer was determined to break the prosecution’s witness. For a week, he relentlessly cross-examined the witness. Expecting to be dismissed within an hour, the witness was visibly irritated. She did not cooperate. Indeed, she was reprimanded by the judge.

14. For further reading • Patterns - pg. 75-76 pg. 565-567