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The Wise Wife

Discover the wisdom and grace of being a wise wife, understanding the Great Mystery of Christ and the Church. Learn how to build your house with wisdom and avoid the pitfalls of contentiousness and indiscretion. Improve communication strategies and break free from destructive behavior patterns.

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The Wise Wife

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  1. The Wise Wife An Instrument of Grace

  2. How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!What more can He say than to you He hath said,To you, who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

  3. Grace • Receiving what we don’t deserve. • How many people are GOOD enough to get to Heaven? • The answer is ZERO! • It is notgood people who go to Heaven, but SAVED or FORGIVEN people!!! • And we are saved on the basis of faith alone in the death of Jesus Christ, not our performance.

  4. The Great Mystery • This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:32-33 • A wise wife is an instrument of grace to her husband not based on his performance, but rather as an act of her will.

  5. This is the Great Mystery! • The Lord seeks to create in me and my relationship to my husband a working scale model of His relationship to the Church throughout eternity.

  6. What kind of Bride does Jesus want? • A friend, a companion, someone with whom to discuss ideas • A playmate, someone with whom to laugh and enjoy life • A buddy with whom to spend time • A lover, someone to cherish and someone to cherish Him • A help meet, someone to share in His work as a steward

  7. Wise or Foolish? • Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverb 14:1

  8. Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away. Proverbs 4:14-15 CPI

  9. CPI? • CPI: Consumer Price Index is seen by most economists as the best measure of the underlying inflation rate. • CPI: Crisis Prevention Institute trains human service professionals in ways to safely manage disruptive and assaultive behavior. • CPI: Clear Path International serves landmine and bomb accident survivors. Approximately every thirty minutes someone, somewhere in the world is injured or killed by an encounter. • CPI: Cost Performance Index is a measure of cost efficiency on a project. It is the ratio of earned value (EV) to actual cost of work performed (ACWP).

  10. Contentious • Defined: exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes • It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling* woman in a wide house. Proverb 21:9 • It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious* and an angry* woman. Proverb 21:19

  11. Contentious A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious* woman are alike. Proverb 27:15 *מדין – Hebrew: root has idea of subjugate *כעס – Hebrew: vexation, provocation

  12. Contentious

  13. Professorial Defined: having a patronizing attitude; adopting an air of condescension toward A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.Proverb 12:4

  14. Professorial • She provokes her husband to the point of saying… • “Surely I am more brutish* than any man.” Proverbs 30:2 & 3 *בער – Hebrew: stupid, like a beast How many times do I have to tell you! If you would only listen to me! This is what you need to do!

  15. Indiscreet • Defined:Lacking discernment and good judgment in conduct and especially in speech; imprudent • As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.*Proverb 11:22 • No amount of beauty can cover her odiousness • Her husband is victim of one of life’s greatest curses • Unconsciously, even jokingly, denigrates her spouse *טעם – Hebrew: judgment, discernment, taste

  16. Indiscreet • For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear:… For an odious* woman when she is married.Proverbs 30:21-23 • *שנא - Hebrew: hateful, repugnant

  17. Essentially she says, “I do not respect you” • This wife critiques and criticizes her husband before others. • This is like a dagger in the heart of a man that twists and turns to kill his spirit.

  18. Behavior PatternsCommunication strategies adopted under stress

  19. I'll bet many of you are thinking one of the following: What about the man......isn't HE responsible? You don't know what you're talking about. It's not my fault....it is my personality that makes me that way or my dysfunctional family upbringing or the fact that I got married: (a) too young, (b) to the wrong man, or (c) before I was saved. But here's a flash, there is no caveat in the Scripture that says: "But you don't have to follow this if your partner isn't cooperating."

  20. How does a husband then typically respond? Usually sinfully. • He attempts to take authority by force. • He feels failure, discouragement and loss of manhood. • He develops a desire to seek fulfillment and approval elsewhere.

  21. The Imperfect Wise Wife seeks to stop the cycle when she looks at her Imperfect Husband.

  22. Leave the Foolish CPI Woman Behind! • Beware of challenging your husband’s brain-wired need for independence. • Learn to praise your husband. • Remind your husband once. • Do not blurt into conversations to correct him. • Practice looking for the good in your husband. • Guard your sharp tongue. • Praise God for the fact that an unbelieving or backslidden husband is sanctified by your belief. • Intimacy, in the form of touching, sexual expression, and gentle words is a form of healing. • Every day, imagine yourself as the Proverbs 31 woman. • Remember to fear God, in a holy, righteous way. • Treat every encounter with your husband as if it might be your last.

  23. Make sure that you are a Virtuous Bride for the Lord of Glory! Examine yourself – Avoid the CPI! • Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a womanwho looks at her face in a mirror and, after looking at herself, goes away and immediately forgets what she looks like. James 1:22-24 NIV

  24. Proverbs 31:11 & 12 • The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. • May he be confident of your faithfulness to him!

  25. The Wise Wife An Instrument of Grace Resource: The Wise Woman’s Guide to Blessing Her Husband’s Vision by Douglas W. Phillips PowerPoint by Tina Tripp

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