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CHAPTER 14 Stress and Crisis in Relationships. Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in Relationships Introduction. Quote: Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind Discussion:
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CHAPTER 14 Stress and Crisis in Relationships
Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in RelationshipsIntroduction • Quote: Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. • Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind • Discussion: • What is the purpose of stress? What are advantages and disadvantages of stress? What are some common stress inducers for students?
Chapter 14: Stress and Crisis in RelationshipsChapter Outline • Personal Stress and Crisis Events • Positive Stress-Management Strategies • Family Crisis Examples • Marriage and Family Therapy • The Future of Stress and Crisis in Relationships
Personal Stress and Crisis Events • Stress is a reaction of the body to substantial or unusual demands • Irritability, high blood pressure, and depression • Crisis is a crucial situation that requires changes in normal patterns of behavior • A family crisis is a situation that upsets the normal functioning of the family and requires a new set of responses to the stressor
Personal Stress and Crisis Events • Sources of stress and crises can be external or internal • Stressors or crises may be expected or unexpected • Stress and crises are normal parts of family life
Resilient Families • Key factors that promote family resiliency • Positive outlook • Spirituality • Flexibility • Communication • Financial management • Shared family recreation, routines, or rituals • Support networks • ABCX Model of Family Stress
Positive Stress-Management Strategies • Scaling back and restructuring family roles • Changing basic values and perspective • Exercise • Friends and relatives • Love • Religion and spirituality • Laughter • Sleep • Pets • Deep muscle relaxation • Education • Counseling for children
Harmful Stress-Management Strategies • Keeping feelings inside • Taking out frustration on or blaming others • Denying or avoiding the problem • Men are more likely to use potentially harmful strategies • Using alcohol • Keeping feelings inside • Keeping others from knowing how bad the situation is
Family Crisis Examples • Physical Illness and Disability • Extramarital Affair • Unemployment • Substance Abuse • Death
Physical Illness and Disability • Treatment options • Physical effects following surgery • Psychological effects following surgery • Evaluation
Extramarital Affair • Affairs are of different types, which may include the following: • Brief encounter • Periodic sexual encounters • Instrumental or utilitarian affair • Coping mechanism • Paraphiliac affairs • New love
Extramarital Affair • In one study of undergraduate students • 24% admitted to cheating on a partner • 41% stated that a partner had cheated on them • Perceptions of Dating Infidelity Scale (PDIS)
Reasons for Extramarital Affairs • Variety, novelty, and excitement • Workplace friendships • Relationships dissatisfaction • Revenge • Homosexual relationship • Aging • Absence from partner • Delayed negative consequences
Effects of an Affair • Loss of trust • Negative self-concept for the cheated on partner • Loss of innocence • Changing emotional attachment • End of the relationship
Successful Recovery from Infidelity • Recovery phases • Rollercoaster • Moratorium • Trust Building • Prevention of infidelity • Loving, nurturing, and communicative relationships • Avoid friends who have affairs • Establish friendships with married couples who value fidelity
Unemployment • American unemployment is around 10% • Society expects men to be the primary breadwinners in the family • Society equates masculine self-worth and identity with job and income • A woman’s identity is less tied to her work
Unemployment • Substance abuse • Health and medical problems • Legal problems • Loss of employment • Financial ruin • School failure • Divorce • Death
Substance Abuse • Stopping substance abuse • Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) medications • Alcoholics Anonymous • Al-Anon • Narcotics Anonymous
Death of Family Member • Death of one’s child • Can lead to relationship conflict and unhappiness • Spouses need to be patient and practice tolerance in allowing both to grieve in their own way • Death of one’s parent • Chronic sorrow
Suicide • Characteristics of people most likely to commit suicide • 15 to 19 years old • Homosexual • Male • Family history of suicide • Mood disorder • Substance abuse • Past history of child abuse and/or parental sex abuse • “Permanent solutions to a temporary problem” • Survivors of Suicide
Marriage and Family Therapy • Signs that a couple should consider therapy • Feeling distant • Not wanting to, or being unable to communicate with your partner • Avoiding each other • Feeling depressed • Drifting into a relationship with someone else or having an affair • Increased drinking • Privately contemplating separation or divorce
Availability of Marriage and Family Therapists • Around 50,000 marriage and family therapists in the U.S. • Can be medical doctors, nurses, psychologists, social workers, professional counselors • American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) • Cost: $100-$125 an hour
Different Forms of Therapy • Behavioral Couple Therapy (BCT) • Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT) • Computerized Internet Therapy • Telerelationship Therapy
Caveats about Marriage and Family Therapy • Sometimes makes the marriage worse • Saying things a spouse can’t forget • Feeling hopeless at not being able to resolve a problem • Feeling resentment over new demands a spouse makes in therapy • Unrealistic picture from the therapist • Not a quick and easy fix • May have to miss work, pay for child care, and be “exposed” at work if using employer’s insurance policy
Quick Quiz • A reaction of the body to substantial or unusual demands is called: • resiliency • crisis • burnout • stress
Quick Quiz • Stress is a: • process • crisis • state • reaction
Quick Quiz • Who is most adversely affected by a spouse's illness? • the ill spouse • the ill spouse's children • the healthy spouse • their parents
Quick Quiz • A law that allows for a spouse to sue a third party for taking away the affections of a spouse is called the: • Coolidge Effect • Alienation of Affection • Extradyadic Involvement • Palliative Care
Quick Quiz • Drug use is most prevalent among which age group? • 12- to 17-year olds • 18- to 25-year olds • 26- to 34-year olds • 35- to 40-year olds