COMMUNICATION & INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE

COMMUNICATION & INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE DR SYED ABDULLAH SYED OTHMAN ASST: MDM FOUZIAH JAMALUDIN DEANSHIP OF ACADEMIC DEVELOPMENT NAME: COLLEGE:

OUTCOMES OF THIS WORKSHOP At the end of this workshop, participants should be able to: Explain the meaning of communication List type of Communication Skills Explain the concept, elements and good practices of Intrapersonal Communication Skills Explain the concept, elements and good practices of Interpersonal Communication Skills List down effective Interpersonal Skills as an Educator at Higher Institution of Learning Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

WORKSHOP SCHEDULE • COMMUNICATION & INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE Date: 10th April Day: Wednesday Time: 9.00 – 2.30 Pm Venue: Hayat Hotel Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

SESSION 1: INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS At the end of the session participants will be able to: • Explain the meaning of communication • Define the meaning of intrapersonal communication, its concept and criteria. • Describe important factors in effective intrapersonal communication skills. Activity: Discussion on movie clip “ The Edge” Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

What is Communication? Communication is the sending and receiving of a message. Communication can occur between one or many different people. Communication can take place within just one individual. This type of communication is called intrapersonal communication. Interpersonal communication involves two or more people. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

Types of Communication Intrapersonal communication • refers to the conversation that is continually going on in your own mind. Interpersonal communication • refers to the different types of verbal, non-verbal and physical actions or expressions that people use when they communicate with each other. • Intrapersonal & Interpersonal • Mastering the two basic types of communication is the key to successful socialization. • The ability to communicate ideas, thoughts and feelings serves as the basis for all successful human interaction. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

What Is Intrapersonal Communication? Intrapersonal communication skills are: • communications that occur within a person's own mind. • positive internal dialogue, occurring within the mind. Meditation, prayer, visualization and affirmations are amongst the intrapersonal techniques. • the process of talking to oneself, we all have constant internal dialogues going on within ourselves either consciously or subconsciously, vital roles in determining our self-esteem and self-perception. If you apply yourself, it is improving your confidence and therefore your quality of life. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

IMPORTANT FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS • Perspective • Self-esteem • Self-confidence • Self-assertive Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

1. PERSPECTIVE • Perspective is a view or belief which we truly believe it is true and valuable in our life • Perspective is the way we look at things • Knowledge, understanding and values in our minds shape our perspectives or philosophies or paradigms • IN RELATIONSHIP, IT IS BETTER TO BE KIND THAN TO BE RIGHT! Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

THE WAY WE THINK • The way we think influence our perspectives in life • Positive thoughts will produce positive perspectives in life • Positive perspectives are able to produce positive actions • Positive perspectives are able to produce positive communication and interpersonal relationship Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

** BRIGHT STUDENT KNOWLEDGE/INFORMATION EXPERIENCE / EFFECTS WE SEE EDUCATION VALUE SYSTEM OBSERVATION WHAT IS SHAPING OUR MINDS? ENVIRONMENTAL INFLUENCE PERCEIVED AUTHORITY **PROCESSIONARY CATERPILLAR PEOPLE INFLUENCE INFLUENCE OF MODELING Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

EVERY ACTION WE TAKE IS ACTUALLY A REFLECTION OF OUR PERSPECTIVE • The Way We Use Our Time, Money And Energy • With Whom We Normally Socialize Or Get Along With • What Kind Of Food We Eat • What Kind Of Books We Read • What Kind Of Activities We Give Priorities • How We Communicate With People • How We React And Take Actions When We Are Facing Difficulties And Problems Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

2. SELF-ESTEEM HOW WE LOOK AT OURSELVES: In a positive or negative manner… In the form of strengths or form of weaknesses….. With appreciating your capabilities or undermining yourselves…. With the feeling you can be successful or weak without energy…. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

WHY HAVING HIGH SELF-ESTEEM IS IMPORTANT? • Solid and good self-esteem will give us strength to shape our lives the best we can • Poor and bad self-esteem will lead to a lot of weaknesses in life • WHO AM I?The Answer To This Question Will Influence One’s Self-esteem And Influence The Actions We Take In Our Life Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

WHO AM I? MY IDENTITY! MY IMAGE! • I am a good human being. • I am a responsible person / son / parents / employee • I am a loving(husband/wife/parents) • I am a useful member of this society • I am a responsible and dedicated staff/ manager who is well-organized Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

WAYS TO BUILD HIGH SELF-ESTEEM • Always remember you have the capability, role and achievement • Should interact with those who have positive minds and who always encourage positive actions • Should take positive actions which bring goodness to yourself and society Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

3. SELF-CONFIDENCE • HIGH SELF-CONFIDENCE will help us take actions based on perspectives and values we hold • HIGH SELF-CONFIDENCE gives us strengths to achieve the goals we set in our life Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

Building Self-Confidence 1-3/9 1. You must feel that you are somebody – used to be successful, have talent and capabilities, used to contribute something meaningful to society • Do not feel that other people are too superior – they are also normal human beings that shouldn’t be scared of 2. Must practice to give opinions even though you may make mistakes or you don’t have much points to say • Must try to get small things done until successful - because small success could lead in getting bigger success 3. Must try to do high risk work – which have big challenge so as to train yourself to fight feeling of scared or no confidence Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

Building Self-Confidence 4-6/9 4. When you have clear objectives, clear values, clear ways of doing things– dont worry about complaints, negative comments and opinions of other people – go ahead with your work – do it the best possible way you can 5.Seek support from positive people, successful people, not those who are only talkers, nothing accomplished, negative people who don’t like to see other people become successful. 6. Be careful in choosing friends – do not be affected by the negative comments or bad influence or bad models. Prolonged exposure to negative elements will influence your mind and your soul and finally you will fall in their trap of negativity and non-performance. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

Building Self-Confidence 7-9/9 7. Get yourself used to do a lot of welfare work to build strong mind, soul and character – so that this way you wont be easily influenced in negativity or bad behavior – you get yourselves more confidence and becoming more useful. 8. Must try to fight feeling ashamed or scared or doesn’t want to work • Do not propose other people to volunteer – must propose your own self to volunteer to take part 9. Must try to think and find creative ways to solve problems – do not surrender to circumstances Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

4. SELF-ASSERTIVE • The capability to take a stand and take appropriate actions in defending perspectives and positive values which you strongly believe • Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation • WAYS TO BUILD SELF-ASSERTIVENESS • Understand clearly the good and bad aspects of anything • Be firm if they try to take advantage of you • Behold strictly to values, ethics and rules which you strongly believe Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

CONCLUSION Alquran: 13: 11“ ……Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves….” Anthony Robbins: Communication QuotationsThe way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. Winston Churchill: Communication QuotesCourage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen Denis Waitley : Quotes: Self EsteemTo establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

ONLY WE CAN CHANGE OURSELVES • Nobody will be able to change us to get better results, except we ourselves. • For things to change, we have to change first. • Good news: once we start changing ourselves, things will start to change for us. • Our life is our responsibility, so we are responsible totally for our life. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

SESSION 2: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS At the end of the session participants should be able to: • Define Interpersonal Communication • List and describe the Components of Interpersonal Communication skills Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

DEFINITION OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION • Communication is a process of delivering a message or meaning through verbal or non-verbal means Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

PERSPECTIVE OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION • The Quality Of Our Interpersonal Communication Will Determine The Quality Of Our Work And Quality Of Our Life • Interpersonal Communication Skills Can Be Learned Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

COMPONENTS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION • Conversation • Listening • Body language • Environment • Self-appearance Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

1. CONVERSATION • Mention Their Names • Use Suitable Language • Tone Of Voice • Simplify Your Message • Give Other People The Chance To Talk And Do Not Control All • Try To Control From Telling Too Much About Yourself • Use Closed And Open Questions Properly • Contents Of Your Sentence • Suitability Of Topics To Talk • Winning People’s HeartBe Interesting Vs. Be Interested Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

THE WAY TO CONVERSE • Be confident, cool and relaxed • Be yourself – do not belittle yourself but at the same do not be arrogant – must show respect to all parties • Be assertive – do not let other people step on your head • Give your opinion if you don’t agree – with full of diplomacy and respect Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

2. LISTENING SKILLS • Look at the eyes and give attention But do not do it too close or too long • Show your interest and show that they are important • Concentrate – do not let your mind wonder to other places. Do not look at other places or do other things while listening to people talking to you • Show that you are actually listening to them with full interest by saying ‘yeah’ ‘oh like that’, nodding your head and continue eye contact. • Do not look at different direction • Ensure that you really understand what you have just heard by repeating what you have heard to him / her. • Repeat important information and seek confirmation from her “Is this what you are trying say……” • Give encouragement for people to keep on talking or to tell you more using phrases such as ‘that’s amazing idea, that’s interesting story, please tell me more’ • Listen to ideas, not just words. Form imagination in your mind while listening. • Do not interrupt or try to finish his sentence while people are talking to you. Wait until he or she finishes his or her sentences. • Do not be too fast to conclude. Give your response when you are truly sure he’s finished his points. • Do not focus on what you are going to say, focus on what your friend is going to say first. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

3. BODY LANGUAGE • PROPER BODY LANGUAGE Smile or show happy face Nod your head to show that you understand or agree or you are following the conversation attentively. Give space so that everyone can see each other’s face if you are talking in a group. • GOOD BODY LANGUAGE “Mirroring” is you create the same body posture with those you are talking to – if they are standing with one leg up, you do the same, if they are holding cup, you do the same. This is called mirroring. “Mirroring” will create a more friendly and relaxed atmosphere between you and the other person. Avoid from: • Yawning, • Scratching your head, • Drilling your nostrils, • Digging your ears, and all sort of inappropriate actions Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

4. ENVIRONMENT • Try to understand their mood (are they tired, have many problems, after getting scolded from their boss, feeling sad, mixed feeling etc.) • Look at suitability of topic at that moment (talking about marriage to women who haven’t got married, talking about child birth with the couple who don’t have kids yet etc.) • Find suitable place (eg. quite, not many people around) for the topic you want to discuss. To discuss multi-million dollar business deal, must find a suitable place. • Find suitable environment (cold, not smelly, refreshing, clean) Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

5. SELF APPEARANCE • The way you dress • Cleanliness • Color of your dress • Ornaments • Body smell Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

SESSION 3: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS (Cont.) At the end of the session participants should be able to: • List and describe challenges in Interpersonal Communication • Important tips on Interpersonal Relationship Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

CHALLENGES IN COMMUNICATION MISUNDERSTANDING IN COMMUNICATION might happen in: • Through telephone • SMS • Emails • News delivered through third party, fourth- include fasiq people – surahalhujurat • When talking always want to win or be superior • When talking, emotion is more than facts • When giving opinions, very fast in finding other people’s faults • When asking questions, the intention is to test the people • When talking, always want to make other people feel guilty • When talking, very arrogant, big talk and belittle other people. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

CHALLENGES IN COMMUNICATION Normally, most people don’t want the following: ONE WAY COMMUNICATION – do not give chance to other people to talk. • Pestered – just like being pushy. • Dictated – like to control. • Imposed – give one-sided point of view. • Insisted – do not give much choices. • Manipulation– salesmen, bad leaders • He feel he’s the only one who’s right and other people do not know anything. JADDAL KALAMI – debating without proper guidelines, attack one’s arguments, no ethics in discussion, no good intention • Discussion not for the sake of finding proper understanding or to find the truths • Discussion to hurt other people’s feelings • Arguments just for fun –no objective, waste of time hurt the feeling, no barakah • Provoke heated arguments, spoil the good mood, break friendship Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

More examples of Barriers to communication • Language • Values and beliefs • Sex/gender and age • Economic status • Educational level • Physical barriers • Attitude • Timing • Understanding of message • Trust Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP • BASICS – MANKIND DO NOT WANT • To be ridiculed • Belittled • Neglected • Segregated • Cruelled • Underestimated • Mistreated BASICS – MANKIND WANTS • To be respected • To be appreciated • To feel important • To play some roles • To be friends with others • Win-win – enjoy their rights Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 1. REMEMBER HIS NAME AND RELATED INFORMATION Remember his name correctly and mention his name in the conversation Try to remember other important or relevant information about him such as the number of cats he keep, countries he has visited, his favorite food etc. 2. LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE AND GIVE EMPATHY Look at the good side and strength he has; do not look at his weaknesses and shortcomings Inculcate sympathy and empathy; try to understand his situation; do not quickly put a blame on him; do not quickly make a conclusion about him and give forgiveness on small things Investigate first on what’s happened. Do not conclude too fast Give open arms and put no ill intention toward him. 3. THINK WIN-WIN Think win-win. Be fair to all parties. Never ever suppress other people Never try to take advantage, especially from the weaker party. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 4. DO NOT KEEP HIDDEN AGENDA OR TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE • Do not keep the “prawn besides the stone” (hidden agenda) when dealing with him; this way you will lose trust from him • Do not take advantage on his weaknesses or his negligence or his sincerity 5. DO NOT ‘KILL’ HIS LIFE AND DO FITNAH • Never ever ‘kill’ one’s life, dignity or his existence by spreading fitnah • Stay away from fitnah or plough the seed of hatred or ill-intention toward a person. 6. NEVER EVER COMPARE, PAY GRATITUDE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE • Do not compare someone with someone else, our staff with other people staff, our husband/wife with other people’s husband/wife • Do not praise other people and undermine your own relatives • Have to pay gratitude and appreciate what you have or possess • Keep in mind - you are my hero or you are my heroine Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 7. GIVE INSPIRATION, EXPECT THE BEST • Give inspiration, give trust, give hope • Give motivation to be the best, to give their best • Must expect the best from them • Be patient with their shortcomings and find ways so that they can improve themselves – through coaching, training or third party’s roles 8.NEVER EVER LIE • Speak the truth – never ever lie • Never manipulate your language or twist your tongue, doing so will make you a hypocrite 9. FULFILL YOUR PROMISE DO NOT MAKE FALSE PROMISE • Must respect the promise you have made – must fulfill it • Do not promise with the things you are not capable of doing Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 10.SOMETIMES WE ARE STRATEGIC,NOT HYPOCRITE • We cannot be open to all things because it could be not strategic • Have to see the pros and cons of the things we discussed • If it carries more disadvantages than advantages, so it is better to avoid from being direct – this is what is called strategic. 11. LIKEABLE AND LIKE • Make it a habit to always eliminate the bad elementsin our life • Improve yourself so that people like you • Train yourself to like other people 12. EXPECTATION • Sometimes our expectation on other people are not realistic or too high • All people have problems or circumstances which we do not know • We shouldn’t be asking from them more than what they are capable of doing • Expectation which is too high might frustrate us 13. DON’T HOPE FOR RETURN OF FAVOR • Continue with good relationship without hoping anything in return • Even though people do not give a damn, we continue with good relationship with them • If we are hoping for a return of favor, maybe we will be frustrated • If we do not hope anything in favor, they will feel the true pleasure of friendship Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

FRIENDSHIP • ENHANCERS • Good intention • Always helping • Keep his dignity • See the good aspects than the bad aspects • No hidden agenda • Telling the truth and be trustworthy • Give priority to a friend SPOILERS • Have strong vested interest • Like to take advantag • High expectation • Blame without investigation • Lying when speaking • Back biting • Take his rights Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

RECAP & CONCLUSION Thanks for your patience, we have covered the following topics: The meaning of communication Types of Communication Skills Concept, elements and good practices of Intrapersonal Communication Skills Concept, elements and good practices of Interpersonal Communication Skills How to implement effective Interpersonal Skills as an Educator at Higher Institution of Learning Mastering the two basic types of communication is the key to successful socialization. The ability to communicate ideas, thoughts and feelings serves as the basis for all successful human interaction. Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

Success for YOU… …in the new global and diverse workplace requiresexcellent communication skills! Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

REFERENCES http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/interpersonal-communication.html#ixzz2PJPQO6KY http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/interpersonal-communication.html http://www.faculty.londondeanery.ac.uk/e-learning/improve-your-lecturing/what-makes-a-good-lecturer http://interpersonalskillsonline.com/how-to-develop-interpersonal-skills Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

THAT’S ALL.THANK YOU ALL THE BEST FROM: DR. SYED ABDULLAH drsyed@yahoo.com Facebook: syedabdullahshahabudin MDM. FOUZIAH JAMALUDIN fouziah5959@yahoo.com Comm. skills/10thAPR2013/DADJU

COMMUNICATION & INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE