An Appreciative Approach to Reframing Conflict

1. Resolving An Appreciative Approach toReframing Conflict

2. Reframe “conflict” as an opportunity for creating an ideal working relationship:What are the components of an ideal working relationship?

3. Introduction:Conflict

4. Foundational Paradigms • Often, conflict is a result of miscommunication (misunderstanding) • View “conflict” as an opportunity for personal and/or professional development • Improve work relationships and productivity • To resolve conflict, need to communicate in an effective manner

5. How Do You Knowit isConflict? • People involved are: • Interdependent, • Blaming each other, • Emotionally upset, (angry, crying, etc.) • Affecting work relationships and productivity

6. How Individuals Address Conflict CAUTION:Don’t always follow your initial instinct. Your first reaction may be wrong. The “fight or flight” response is a physiological response to danger. It focuses on what’s wrong in a situation - it is likely to hurt work relationships - and create more situations perceived as danger.

7. Positive Things that Come Out of Conflict? • Increased motivation and energy available to apply to required tasks. • Increased innovativeness of individuals and the system -because of greater diversity of viewpoints and a heightened sense of necessity. • Development of an increased understanding of individuals’ own position - because the conflict forces them to articulate their views and to bring forth supporting agreements. • Each party may achieve greater awareness of their own identity. • Participants learn methods to manage their own internal conflicts.

8. Appreciative ApproachtoReframing Conflictusing theAppreciative Inquiry Process

9. Discovery Destiny Dream Design 4 Dimensions of Appreciative Inquiry Life-Giving Process

10. Problem Solving Identifies – problem Conducts – analysis of cause Brainstorms – solutions Develops – action plans Appreciative Inquiry Appreciates – what gives life? Imagines – what might be? Determines – what should be? Creates – what will be? Appreciative Inquiryvs.Problem Solving

11. 1st Dimension:Discovery “The Best of What Is” Affirmative Topic: Effective Communication

12. 1st Dimension: Discovery Effective Communication • Deal with the Emotions first • Feelings as Data • Listen First to Understand - until you are able to experience the other side • Gather the facts • Hear each person’s side of the story • Decide if you need additional help from Employee Relations

13. 1st Dimension: Discovery Examine the Positive Factors in the Relationship: • What is working in the relationship? • What are the benefits of the relationship? • Tell me about a time when you successfully worked together? • What do we agree on? • What are our individual/team strengths?

14. 2nd Dimension:Dream“What it might be?”“Envision It!”

15. 2nd Dimension: Dream Envision the IdealCommunication Relationship • What does it feel like? • What does it sound like? • What does it look/sound like to others? What do you really want?

16. 2nd Dimension: Dream Examine Possible Positive Factors in the Communication Relationship: • Rapid Generation of Ideas without clarification or evaluation • Quantity - not Quality • Be as Creative as possible

17. 3rd Dimension:Design What should be the “Ideal” of Effective Communication?

18. 3rd Dimension: Design 3 Types of Outcomes • Win-Lose • Lose-Lose • Win-Win

19. 3rd Dimension: Design Look for Win-Win Resolution Fundamental Paradigms: • Effective, long-term relationships require mutual benefit • Reconciliation & collaboration is not weak – it’s smart! • Win-Lose or Lose-Lose outcomes are counterproductive in the long run

20. 3rd Dimension: Design Stay Focused on the “Ideal” • Conflict tends to divert our attention from our real interests by creating another interest – surviving, or winning • Basic, instinctive interest (surviving/winning) may cloud our interests & make it harder to resolve conflict • Step away from the conflict, & anybody involved in the conflict, to gain perspective • Think about what you would want if you could have a wish – that’s your true interest

21. 3rd Dimension: Design Conciliatory Gestures Verbal statements – or parts of statements – made during conflict resolution that expose the speaker’s vulnerability to exploitation by the other(s) Kinds of Conciliatory Gestures: • Apologizing • Owning responsibility • Conceding • Self-disclosing • Expressing positive feelings/thoughts for the other • Initiating a Win-Win approach to the situation

22. Smart Managing 3rd Dimension: Design Accentuate the Positive,Ignore the Negative Conciliatory gestures are often mixed with some sort of hostile comments. It’s best to disregard the aggressive words & tone and focus instead on the conciliatory. • How? • Acknowledge the conciliatory gesture • by showing your appreciation of it, and • reciprocate.

23. 3rd Dimension: Design Partner on Design • Collaboration • One-sided solutions not imposed – no power plays • No walk-aways • Need buy-in

24. 3rd Dimension: Design Good Deal:To effect real change Good Deal  An agreement describing how the parties will interact in the future • Balanced • Behaviorally specific • Written

25. 4th Dimension:Destiny What should we do to sustain the change?

26. 4th Dimension: Destiny Sustaining Change • Nurture the new relationship • Reward improved performance • Develop & renew resources on a regular basis • Be proactive

27. Appreciative Inquiry“4-D” Cycle Revisited • Discovery - The best of what is • Deal with Emotions and Feelings • Listen First to Understand • Gather the Facts • Need help? • Dream - What might be? Envision it! • Design - What should be the ideal? • Win-Win • Stay Focused • Conciliatory Gestures • Partner on a Good Deal • Destiny – Sustain the Change • Prevent More Challenges • Don’t Back Out