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Showing vs. Telling : Writing Emotions with Physicality. Jennifer Hall. Jennifer Hall. 7 th grade English at Krueger MS, NEISD Aerospace Magnet program – Krueger School of Applied Technology 5 years in current position
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Showing vs. Telling : Writing Emotions with Physicality Jennifer Hall
Jennifer Hall • 7th grade English at Krueger MS, NEISD • Aerospace Magnet program – Krueger School of Applied Technology • 5 years in current position • 10 years teaching ESL, English, Reading, and US History at Brentwood MS, EISD grades 6, 7, and 8
Contact Information NEISD webpage and email • http://tw.neisd.net/webpages/jhall10/index.cfm • jhall10@neisd.net Personal email and ning pages • j_hall_tex@yahoo.com • http://www.classroom20.com/profile/Jennifer26 • http://sanantoniowritingproject.ning.com/profile/Jennifer
Teaching Philosophy • It’s unfair to students if we aren’t rigorous. • Students need help developing 21st century skills: clear communication, critical thinking, research, and content creation.
Concerns Goals • Monotonous writing • “Information dumps” • Assertions without sufficient evidence in essays • Overuse of adverbs with dialogue tags • Use of physical details • Variety • Details without lists • Peer and self evaluation • Kinesthetic activity
Overview • Lesson took 4 days • Extension lesson was an additional 2 days
Day 1 Activity Discussion How do I know someone is - angry? sad? happy? embarrassed? in love? In all of these cases, you can’t just TELL me they feel a certain way. I need evidence. • Discussed body language and acted out some emotions
Day 1 cont. • Published example - http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/creative/showing.htm
Brainstormed Strategies • Action words • Figurative language • Dialogue • Specific details • Evidence from the senses • Imagery • Point of view
Day 1 cont. • Did some examples together on the Smartboard
Day 2 • 10 Telling Sentences handout • Whiteboard practice • Teacher feedback • Read-alouds
Day 3 • I gave the students a list of 10 emotions • Students each picked 4 to work with • Students did the writing (timed – 10 minutes for each) • Students posted their pieces in the room on the appropriate posters
Day 4 • Gallery walk • Peer evaluations • Discussed findings
Extension: Response to literature • Citing textual evidence • Discussion of theme of story • Students used the theme in writing • Use showing strategies in their writing
Extension Deliverables • Graphic organizer • 80-100 word piece • Wordle to create word clouds and determine key words • Photo collage from key words using flickr photos with Creative Commons licensing
Student Writing Sample I ran outside and almost forgot my suitcase, which I grabbed on my way out the old, apartment door. The taxi man looked annoyed as he waited in the yellow station wagon. I checked my watch, 9:15. The southwest airline, plane number 45 would take departure in ten minutes. I thanked the taxi as I plopped myself down on the gray, fuzzy seats. “The International Airport please,” The words rushed out of my mouth so fast I was surprised he understood me. “The traffic looks bad today, what time does your plane leave at?” He asked. “About nine twenty five,” I waited patiently in the silent cab. When I saw the airport my hopes where high that my watch was at least three minutes early according to the airport. I opened the door and started to dash to the entrance. “Hey! HEY!! That will be $34.78!” Screamed the angered taxi man; I spun around pulled out the proper amount and practically threw it at him. Finally, I came to the counter and handed the well groomed lady my tickets and blurted “Here you are, to Seattle please?” “It’s hard to tell you this but, your airplane just announced their departure and they are taxing down the runway as we speak.”
Self-evaluation Portfolio • Graphic organizer • Written piece • Word cloud/Wordle • Photo collage
Writing Activity • Select one of the emotions from the list. • Write a piece of at least 45 words in which you SHOW someone experiencing the emotion. • Tape it to the appropriate poster. • After everyone has posted their piece, go back and read the pieces and complete the questionnaire.