270 likes | 310 Views
Family Support/ Recovery. Barbara Woods, LCSW, ACSW 972-467-7993. Diagnosing an Alcohol Use Disorder.
E N D
Family Support/ Recovery Barbara Woods, LCSW, ACSW 972-467-7993
Diagnosing an Alcohol Use Disorder • A few mild symptoms — which you might not see as trouble signs — can signal the start of a drinking problem. If heavy drinking continues, over time, the number and severity of symptoms can grow and add up to an "alcohol use disorder." Doctors diagnose an alcohol use disorder when a patient's drinking causes distress or harm
ADDICTION –FAMILY DISEASE • NCADD (National Council on Alcohol and Drug Dependency) states that Addiction is a family disease that stresses the family to the breaking point…..impacts the family unit, mental and physical health…..”Living with Addiction creates a feeling of insanity”. • Over time family becomes more and more dysfunctional to adapt. Dysfunction becomes the “new normal”.
CONTAGIOUS INSANITY IS “CATCHING! The stress of living with an alcoholic produces dysfunctional coping behavior similar to that of post traumatic stress syndrome
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS • CHAPTER 9: The Family Afterward • “Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill.” • Page 122 • 1939
HEALTHY FAMILY • NURTURING • FLEXIBLE RULES • SELF-WORTH VALIDATED THROUGH OTHERS • CHANGE IS ENCOURAGED • OPEN HONEST COMMUNICATION
UNHEALTHY FAMILY • ISOLATION • RIGID RULES • SELF-WORTH VALIDATED THROUGH THE ALCOHOLIC • STATUS QUO IS PROTECTED • LITTLE OR NO COMMUNICATION
CODEPENDENCY A CODEPENDENT PERSON IS ONE WHO HAS LET ANOTHER PERSON’S BEHAVIOR AFFECT HIM OR HER, AND WHO IS OBSESSED WITH CONTROLLING THAT PERSON’S BEHAVOR.
CODEPDENCY • A psychological and behavioral condition that develops as a result of the individual’s prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules which prevent the open expression of feelings as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems. Robert Subby, M.A.
CODEPENDENCY The central feature of codependency is “an unhealthy dependence on relationships, usually in an attempt to avoid feelings of abandonment”.
The Healing Process for Families • Education – Books, Lectures, Internet • Explore Intervention • Attend Family Treatment Program • Get Professional Help– EAP/ Therapist • Attend a Mutual Support Group
MUTUAL SUPPORT GROUPS • AL-ANON • FAMILY/PARENTS ANONYMOUS • ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS • ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLS AND OTHER DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES • ALATEEN
Family Treatment/Support is critical • Treatment setting offers safety and security • Shame anger, guilt, fear reduction • Education about disease of addiction • Families are left “to deal” without support • Minimal or no change in family dysfunction with no treatment or support . • Addiction education is healing for the family
Family Treatment Programs • Varies among facilities • Weekly visits in person if feasible • Telephonic sessions • Weekend extended programs • 2-3-5 day programs
Family Treatment • Education on the Disease • Boundaries • Self Care • “Let’s Talk”—Couples/family therapy in safe environment • Open up lines of healthy communication • You are not alone—establish a support group
What to Expect Post Discharge? • The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous mentions that a “personality change” must occur to bring about recovery from alcoholism. This includes a vast change in feelings and outlook, and a profound alteration in an individual’s reaction to life.
Honey I’m Home • More time at home vs flying • New commitments and responsibilities • New Priorities?? • Personality Change…Who are you? • Different reaction to stress
With Family Treatment • Positive Personality Changes • Alanon and other self help group attendance • No drugs/alcohol in the home • Improved communication/healthy boundaries • Stronger family unit-”We are in this Together” • Family members participate in self care
No Family Treatment • Difficulty adjusting to the “new” normal • No support group—no education on disease • Resentment/distrust of increased absence from home—meetings, HIMS, aftercare, etc. • Less $$ • You are the problem and I’m suffering
Relapse • Returning home to dysfunction= relapse
Family Texts • I got the book. I’m so sad. I’m seeing a counselor ASAP. I want him healthy. The book made me see my role in this and that hurts. But what I also see is not many if any stay together when this is the dynamic of the relationship.
Family Texts • We had some wonderful times and memories hence the reason I never gave up on the relationship. Seems I need to now. If I’m contributing to his drinking, then I need to leave him alone. The thought of this being the end of us and the chances of ever being together again is intolerable. I’m hurting so much. I don’t want to “not” have him in my life.
Family Texts • It’s Really hard tonight! • I feel like I’m having a heart attack. I know I’m not. It just hurts a lot.
Family Texts • I’m off work today. Thought I would be ok. But I’m choking down tears.
Family Texts • His family needs me. They are like my own children. To think I might not be in his life and theirs after 18 years is just not reasonable. • I’m trying to read and go to alanon to understand this process but I’m not really understanding it.
Resources Melodie Beattie: • Co-Dependency & Beyond Codependency • The New Codependency • CoDependent No More • Love is Not Enough, Dr.James Dobson • It Will Never Happen to Me, Claudia Black