EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

1. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IQ is Intelligence Quotient - this is a number that tells how smart you are. 150 is very smart and 110 is about average. This is called your COGNITIVE MIND. EI is Emotional Intelligence—it tells how much positive control you have over your emotions. It is not a number, it is the part of you that has wisdom because of your experience in life. This is called your EXPERIENTIAL MIND.

2. Emotional IntelligenceWhat is it? How can you use it? First, what are emotions? Simply put, emotions are your feelings. Sometimes you are happy, sometimes you are sad, or worried or puzzled or “at your wit’s end.” Sometimes you just don’t care. We have 4 basic emotions: Happy Sad Angry All the rest are combinations of the “Big 4” Afraid

3. So, Emotional Intelligence is… • Investigating your emotions to find out if you are in control of them or are they in control of you? • Next, you take your emotions and make them work for you as positive emotional skills and also improve possible emotional problem areas. • The main positive skills are: • Interpersonal • Assertion • Leadership • Comfort • Empathy • Decision making • Leadership • Self-Management • Drive Strength • Time Management • Commitment Ethic • Intrapersonal Skills • Self Esteem • Stress Management • The potential problem areas are: • Aggression • Deference • Change Orientation

4. I. INTERPERSONAL SKILLS Assertion • Assertion is the ability to communicate with others in a straightforward, direct, comfortable and respectful way. • You’re not afraid to say what you need to say to somebody else, but you do it in a way that tells them you mean business but you respect their right to hear what you have to say in a fair but firm manner. • You show you care both for what needs to get done and the person who is going to do it. Assertive people are reasonable and direct. They are calm in stressful situations. They Realize that people need to be treated Equitably and forthrightly. This job needs to get moving.

5. II. LEADERSHIP SKILLS Comfort Great job! • A positive leader is socially aware, and feels the emotional needs of the people who work around her. • She shows them that she truly understands her co-workers, so that she has their trust and cooperation and they know that it is not necessary to put up and hide behind any kind of protective walls. • Basically she makes them feel comfortable with her and the work they do for her, which makes for a beneficial workplace for everybody. TO MAKE people feel comfortable, a leader needs to have their trust and respect. She does this by being honest, self-assured and open with them.

6. II. LEADERSHIP SKILLS Empathy I feel your pain. • Empathy is the state of mind that allows you to understand and feel what other people feel. • An empathic person is a good listener, is patient and compassionate and is open-minded and non-judgmental. • A person capable of true empathy communicates this in a caring, friendly and easy-going manner to the other people that she associates with. O great spirit, grant that I should not criticize my neighbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasins. Native American proverb

7. II. LEADERSHIP SKILLS Decision Making • To be able to make a good solid decision that will work, the decision maker needs to plan ahead, think things through, come up with new ideas if necessary and then, based on a thorough grasp of the situation, proceed to make and stick by that decision. • This requires a systematic approach to anticipating and solving problems and for formulating and acknowledging various choice alternatives required by that decision. Great idea! Let’s do it! Making an effective, solid decision is a science and an art. Think it over thoroughly and set it in motion. If it works, Great. If not, be big enough to admit it’s wrong and you need to try something else.

8. II. LEADERSHIP SKILLS Leadership • Good leadership means to be able to be thoughtful and persuasive to give others a positive direction in which to go. • A good leader is thoughtful, firm but fair and gets people to follow him or her by helping everybody on the team understand that they are all working together. • This requires a set of personal and goal-directed actions that create momentum and consensus when working with others. Don’t be led into temptation… Who, me? It has often been said that a truly great leader is one who knows how to follow as well as lead.

9. III. SELF-MANAGEMENT SKILLS Drive Strength • The Strength to Drive on to your goals comes from within. You need the internal power to make yourself keep going even when things get really tough and all you want to do is “hang it up.” • Then, once you do “hang in there,” you have the experience to fortify yourself the next time so many obstacles show up: you just keep going. • Perseverance furthers… I think I can. I think I can. I know I can... Do you have the power to persevere? Is your internal engine able to keep up with all the external things that wear you down? Can you keep your goal in sight when things get to be “just too much?” If the answers are all yes, then you do, indeed, have drive strength!

10. III. SELF-MANAGEMENT SKILLS Time management • An effective Time Manager knows that time just keeps flowing, so go with the flow. • Prioritize what you need to do: first things first. • Schedule yourself by the time you have: use your time wisely by making your tasks and your leisure fit together in a well-scheduled day, week or semester. • Don’t put off to tomorrow what could easily be done today. Procrastination is your greatest enemy.  Don’t watch the clock, make the clock watch you. Time marches on, you can’t control time, but you can control yourself in relation to time. Treat time as your friend, not your enemy. If you know how to use your time wisely and efficiently, you will always have enough time to do what you need to do.

11. III. SELF-MANAGEMENT SKILLS Commitment Ethic • A commitment is a pledge you make to yourself or others that you will engage and stay engaged in what is necessary and right. • When you make a commitment, you are saying that this is not just a “one-time deal.” • Rather it is something that will continue to be done as long as it is necessary to do so. • When you make an ethic out of being committed, you make it into a rule of life; one that you do not stray from, no matter what should arise.  I am committed to dispense justice equally to all. I couldn’t run an honest business without ethics. To be committed is to make sincere promises to yourself AND OTHERS THAT YOU will do what you say you will do. A man or woman is only as good as their word.

12. III. SELF-MANAGEMENT SKILLS Self esteem • Self esteem is how you feel about yourself. If you see yourself as competent and pretty much always successful, this is how you are going to be: self-confident and able to do what you need to do very well. • If you feel bad about yourself because you don’t think you have what it takes, then you won’t do very well. • But self esteem is not being conceited or arrogant; self esteem is looking at yourself honestly and liking what you see. I have to be the handsomest man who ever lived. WRONG! Self esteem can also be seeing your positive qualities reflected in other people whom you admire. Like attracts like and you may find the company of other people with high self esteem beneficial to you. I think I do a pretty decent job of being man’s best friend. RIGHT!

13. III. SELF-MANAGEMENT SKILLS Stress Management • If the pressure on you is too much and you get “stressed out”, can you control yourself and keep your cool? • Can you stay on top of your emotions and not get angry and up-tight? • Stress management is the ability to handle stressful situations and keep doing what you need to do calmly and carefully to make things work right. I want it five minutes ago and no excuses! It’s a big load, but I can handle it. Stress isn’t always a bad thing. If you handle tough situations well, you will grow as a person. As IT IS said: “ordeal tempers the soul.”

14. POTENTIAL PROBLEM AREAS AGGRESSION • Do you resolve your differences with other people by getting angry, yelling and screaming or maybe even fighting? • Do you like to dominate or overpower others to get your way? • Being too aggressive is not a good way to have positive relations with people. • If the answers are yes, you need to work on Anger Control and Management. • And also ask yourself: “Does being really mad make you feel good?” • Bet it doesn’t. We agree to disagree, with a vengeance! My way or the highway! Aggression: conflict, hostility, combat and the like very seldom resolve any issues in the long run. Generally they just lead to more of the same. History is full of examples of this.

15. POTENTIAL PROBLEM AREAS DEFERENCE Yes sir. Whatever you say, sir • Are you shy and timid and let other people run over you very easily because you are afraid they will be angry with you and won’t like you? • Do you not say what you really think because you feel if you do, there will be problems? • If so, then you need to work on Fear Control and Management to learn how to be Assertive when you need to. Do what you’re told! A person who is humble usually works quite well with other people. But if humility goes too far and a person becomes too deferential, it cripples their ability to be effective: it makes them a sheep to be pushed around by whoever feels like it.

16. POTENTIAL PROBLEM AREAS Change Orientation • When something brand new happens in your life, can you “go with the flow” and make a positive change that will satisfy yourself in the new situation? • When you are dissatisfied with yourself, can you make a change that makes you a happier person? • If you said yes, then you have a handle on Positive Personal Change. • If not, you would benefit greatly by learning this very necessary skill. Then be ready to give up what you are and change into something new... I wanna be one of those. NOT EVERY CHANGE IS NECESSARY, that’s for you to decide. Do you resist change merely because it’s new? Or do you think it through to see if a change might help you? Deciding to make necessary changes are some of the most important decisions you can make.