Developing Personal and Social Competence

1. Developing Personal and Social Competence

2. Christian Education teaches us how to live well within • Our Space

3. Overview • Why be committed to personal and social development? • Four stories... • What God is committed to • What we need to be committed to

4. The ASC Learning Outcomes • recognise and understand their own emotions, values and strengths, have a realistic assessment of their own abilities and a well-grounded sense of self-esteem and self-confidence (self awareness) • manage their emotions and behaviour, persevere in overcoming obstacles, set personal and academic goals, develop self-discipline, resilience, adaptability and initiative (Self-management) • perceive and understand other people’s emotions and viewpoints, show understanding and empathy for others, identify the strengths of team members, define and accept individual and group roles and responsibilities, be of service to others (Social awareness) • form positive relationships, manage and influence the emotions and moods of others, cooperate and communicate effectively with others, work in teams, build leadership skills, make decisions, resolve conflict and resist inappropriate social pressure (Social management).

5. Do we believe in this? • Isn’t this the opposite of the Gospel? • Dying to self, not finding ourself? • What should we think, as Christians, about this curriculum aim?

6. What does Christian Personal and Social Education mean? Is it legitimate to seek to DEVELOP the self esteem, confidence and self assertiveness of a child? If so, how? And how does that relate to developing their FAITH and DEPENDENCE on God’s love for us?

7. A story of Four children... Sam Peace Pete Lex (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

8. They had all been born at the same time When they were born they didn’t know where they ended and where the world began (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

9. They were starting a process called INDIVIDUATION Whereby each of us establishes a sense of our own SPACE in the world (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

10. OUR SPACE is WHAT MAKES US US It is composed of our character, personality, skills, needs, beliefs, physique, emotions, desires, fears, hopes, feelings, ideas and more (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

11. SAM’S SPACE WAS NEVER REALLY PROPERLY CULTIVATED BY THOSE AROUND HER So it never grew strongly and clearly defined (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

12. SOME IMPORTANT PEOPLE LEFT SAM’S SPACE, WHEN THEY SAID THEY WOULDN’T SAM’S DEFENDING SPACE So she never grew to trust other people (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

13. OVER TIME, THIS BECAME SAM’S DEFENDING SPACE “I call this DEFENDING because I defend my space from being damaged by other people. I watch to see if people might be unkind or untrustworthy. I avoid them, and instead try to find people who will be trustworthy and on my side.” (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

14. PEACE’S SPACE WAS ALSO A BIT OVERLOOKED Like Sam’s it also never really grew strongly and clearly defined (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

15. PEACE TRIED HARD TO GET PEOPLE TO APPRECIATE HER SPACE...... Unlike Sam, she would bend, and flex and try anything to get the attention and affirmation she needed (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

16. OVER TIME THIS BECAME PEACE’S ADAPTING SPACE “I call this ADAPTING because I adapt my space to fit in with what others need or want around me. I do things that others like. I avoid things that might upset others. Because I try to please, I get worried if you are not pleased with me.” (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

17. IN CONTRAST, LEX’S SPACE WAS INTENSIVELY CULTIVATED • MY • DEFINING • SPACE • As a result, unlike Sam and Peace’s spaces it grew strongly defined by doing the things that won praise (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

18. LEX WORKED HARD TO ENSURE HE MAINTAINED HIS SUCCESS • MY • DEFINING • SPACE • He developed a strong belief in himself, along with a reluctance to try anything he might fail in (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

19. OVER TIME, THIS BECAME LEX’S DEFINING SPACE • MY • DEFINING • SPACE • “I call this DEFINING because I define what happens in my space. I like to do things which I feel in control of. I avoid things I might fail in. Because I practise, I am good at what I choose to do.” (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

20. FINALLY, PETE’S SPACE WAS CULTIVATED WITH GREAT AFFIRMATION His experience was that people approved of his space even when it didn’t look its best (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

21. THIS MADE PETE OPTIMISTIC AND SOMETIMES A BIT OVER-CONFIDENT When he made mistakes, he dusted himself off and carried on, not always learning from the experience. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

22. OVER TIME THIS BECAME PETE’S SHAPING SPACE “I call this SHAPING because I shape what happens in my space. It feels strong and flexible. I can say yes to some things and no to other things without worrying what people will think about me. I make my own mind up about things.” (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

23. So the four children developed different SPACES Sam Peace • MY • DEFINING • SPACE Lex Pete (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

24. The science.... • Individuation • Attachment theory • Human Ecology Theory

25. One day, each of them met someone who understood about their particular SPACE...His name was Jesus (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

26. The day Sam met Jesus, she was collecting water from a well, far, far away because she no longer trusted other people. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

27. He invited her to give him a drink This was strange because Sam had nothing in side her SPACE to give herself or him- it had all been taken out.

28. But he offered to put in her a SPRING OF WATER that wouldn’t run dry • MY • DEFINING • SPACE • The water, he promised, would make her SPACE thrive so she would not need to keep searching for men to feel loved, accepted and appreciated,

29. As her SPACE grew more strongly defined by the WELL inside her, she found new TRUST in herself and OTHER PEOPLE • MY • DEFINING • SPACE So Sam ran off to tell her neighbours ABOUT THE MAN who had put the well inside her to make her SPACE thrive again

30. Peace met Jesus, in a crowded market square, when she managed to touch his robe by crawling on her hands and knees. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

31. Touching Jesus’ robe healed Peace of her bleeding, which had never stopped before! But then Jesus did something terrible... He made her stand up in the middle of the crowd with everyone around her. Peace knew her SPACE could not protect her as it was not strong enough. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

32. But Jesus told the crowd she was now at PEACE , that they should accept her back and not trample on her SPACE anymore After Jesus’ words, Peace’s SPACE was healed on the outside, as well as on the inside

33. Now her SPACE was changed, Peace was able to go to the temple, the market and even seek a husband • Jesus healed her SPACE; now she really was at PEACE

34. Lex went to meet Jesus because he wanted to check if there was anything else he needed to put into his SPACE to obtain eternal life • MY • DEFINING • SPACE (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

35. JESUS ASKED LEX WHETHER HE THOUGHT HE NEEDED ANYTHING ELSE • MY • DEFINING • SPACE • Lex didn’t think he did, because he had always managed to build his SPACE independently, on his own, without relying on anyone else (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

36. SO JESUS INVITED LEX TO LEAVE HIS SPACE BEHIND • MY • DEFINING • SPACE • This made Lex frightened; he had never had to live without all the things he had collected in his SPACE (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

37. JESUS NEEDED LEX TO DEPEND ON HIM RATHER THAN ON HIS SPACE • But Lex wasn’t able to trust Jesus to meet all his needs- so he went away to live in his SPACE on his own... • He was SAD. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

38. WHEN PETE MET JESUS HE WAS CALLED SIMON. JESUS ASKED HIM TO FOLLOW HIM, AND HE DID. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

39. JESUS WANTED SIMON’S SPACE TO BE A ROCK FOR OTHERS, SO HE GAVE HIM A NEW NAME, PETE But Pete thought Jesus wanted him to be tough in himself- which was what he always had been. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

40. JESUS HAD TO TEACH PETE THAT EVEN THOUGH HE TRUSTED GOD HE STILL TRUSTED HIMSELF TOO So he let Pete discover what it felt like to be afraid, alone and utterly vulnerable. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

41. PETE DISCOVERED THAT JESUS WAS STILL WITH HIM, EVEN WHEN HE SEEMED ABANDONED And THIS PRESENCE was the basis of Pete’s SPACE- strong enough to survive his own death and for Jesus to build his church on. (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

42. So what does this tell us about PERSONAL and SOCIAL Development? Sam Peace • MY • DEFINING • SPACE Lex Pete (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

43. Our schools are full of Sams, Peaces, Lexs and Petes Sam Peace Lex Pete (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

44. The Gospel affects their SOCIAL and EMOTIONAL development as well as their spiritual Sam Peace • MY • DEFINING • SPACE Lex Pete (C) Human Ecology Ltd 2011

45. Growing emotionally is about growing to fully inhabit your SPACE Q: WHY IS GOD INTERESTED IN OUR SPACE?

46. Because that is the restoration of Eden

47. What have we learned? • Personal and social development is a Gospel matter • Jesus was committed to it- it is a fundamental outworking of being saved. • We don’t save people spiritually without also saving them emotionally and socially • Our Eden SPACE is healed through the Gospel • The pastoral work of this is in our hands.... Next session

48. That is what we must look at AFTER the BREAK

49. Christian Education teaches us how to live well within • Our Space

50. St Irenaeus