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Show versus Tell

Show versus Tell. Show versus Tell. Please shut your eyes while I read this sentence to you: Mavis was angry when she heard what the umpire said. What does that look like?. Show versus Tell. Please shut your eyes again and listen to this sentence:

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Show versus Tell

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  1. Show versus Tell

  2. Show versus Tell • Please shut your eyes while I read this sentence to you: • Mavis was angry when she heard what the umpire said. • What does that look like?

  3. Show versus Tell • Please shut your eyes again and listen to this sentence: • Shaking her head back and forth, Mavis pounded home plate with her fist after the umpire shouted, “You’re out!” • Now what picture do you have in your head?

  4. Strategies Strategies writers use to SHOW what is happening include: • describing the character’s actions rather than just saying how he or she feels • using action verbs • using precise nouns and active verbs with strong modifiers (adjectives, adverbs, phrases and clauses) • using similes, metaphors and personification • using dialogue • appealing to some of the five senses to paint a picture of what is happening

  5. Word Choice “The difference between any word and the right word is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” - Mark Twain The exact word means that you convey precisely what you, the writer, want the reader to see and you do it in a way that is fresh, clean, concise, and accurate. Why choose the word crimson over red ? Why furious over angry? Is your cat orange or is he pumpkin-colored? Did the wind blow or did it slap? Did the river run or roar?

  6. Turning the abstract to concrete Telling: This is really generalized language; this is the writer telling me what a sick woman is. I can’t see this image. I can’t visualize “lively” or “symptoms of illness” or her “not herself.” Showing: Now this is a specific sick woman. Now I can see her. I can start to understand her specific illness. And remember, you can alter the details to convey a specific kind of sick: perhaps she’s vomiting; maybe her face is red with fever. Those are the kinds of details that make the writing stand out.

  7. Which is better? • Papers overflowed my cramped desk as I rummaged for the pencil I knew was buried somewhere inside its dark depths. • My desk is a mess.

  8. Which is better? • I am cold. • My teeth chattered as I blew warm breath on my numb fingers.

  9. Which is better? • The broken windows and creaking hinges made me tremble as I slowly crossed the shadowed yard towards the dilapidated house. • I was scared as I walked towards the haunted house.

  10. Practice • Tell - The mall is crowded in December. • I live on a very busy street.

  11. Revisions • In revision, test yourself based on these Showing vs. Telling principles: • Can I close my eyes and see what I’m trying to convey? • Check those words: Can they be more fresh and vivid? Are they too general – can they be more specific and particular?

  12. Sources • www.vanderbilt.edu/hpao/.../Show%20don't%20tell%20AMCAS.ppt • www.mce.k12tn.net/english/Show,%20Don't%20Tell.ppt • www.misscantillon.com/Class%20Notes/show,don'ttell.ppt

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