Show Not Tell

1. Show Not Tell Description by Design

2. How is writing like exercise? • Practice writing is like push-ups. • We must exercise our writing “muscles.” • The more we write, the stronger our writing will be.

3. The Bus Stop – Tell Version • Each morning I ride the bus to school. I wait along with other people who ride my bus. Sometimes the bus is late and we get angry. Some guys start fights and stuff just to have something to do. I’m always glad when the bus finally comes.

4. The Bus Stop – Show Version • A bus arrived. It discharged its passengers, closed its doors with a hiss and disappeared over the crest of the hill. Not one of the people waiting at the bus stop had attempted to board. One woman wore a sweater that was too small, a long skirt, white sweater socks, and house slippers. One man was in his undershirt. Another man wore shoes with the toes cut out, a soiled blue serge jacket and brown pants. There was something wrong with these people. They made faces. A mouth smiled at nothing and unsmiled, smiled and unsmiled. A head shook in vehement denial. Most of them carried brown paper bags rolled tight against their stomachs.

5. Show Not Tell • The purpose of Show Not Tell is to change bland “telling” sentences that use overly general words into “showing” sentences full of specific, enlightening details. • Example: • My room is a mess.

6. Show Not Tell • On patches of my room’s wooden floor, tiny black ants feasted on chocolate cookie crumbs and stray pieces of buttered popcorn. A deck of cards and parts of board games teeter-tottered atop mounds of shorts, t-shirts, jeans, sneakers, and stiff, dirty socks.

7. Telling Sentence • It was a rainy day.

8. Showing Version • The air was the color of unpainted steel. It hung like a heavy, damp blanket over trees, cars, houses, and me. I heard the sound of small pebbles falling without end on the roof, on the yard, and on the driveway. Small rivers moved constantly down my window,

9. Verbal Practice • The kid was rich. • The music was loud. rich loud

10. Now It’s Your Turn • On your next available page, write one of the following “telling” sentence. • He was scared. • The pizza was delicious. • She was so angry. • The party was wild. • The monster was really ugly. • He is sick. Now write a “showing” version. scared delicious angry wild ugly sick