Chapter 8 & 16 Sexual Behaviors

Chapter 8 & 16Sexual Behaviors

Celibacy Erotic dreams & fantasies Masturbation Kissing Touching Mutual masturbation Oral-genital stimulation Anal stimulation Penile-vaginal intercourse Common sexual behaviors One person More than one person

Celibacy • Celibate: describes a physically mature person who does not engage in sexual behavior. • Complete celibacy: individual neither masturbates nor has sexual contact w/another person. • Partial celibacy: individual masturbates but does not have sexual contact w/another person.

Celibacy, (cont.) • Reasons, or benefits: • religious, moral beliefs • waiting for the appropriate person • learning about other aspects of the self • During period of celibacy, can experience greater self-growth, focus on work-related/personal goals, friendships deepen, etc. • health considerations (pregnancy, STDs) • during substance abuse recovery (anxiety created in sexual relationships can precipitate a relapse) • Disadvantages: • lack of physical affection, intimacy

Erotic dreams • expression and exploration of desires • most males, 2/3 of females • nocturnal orgasm • Involuntary orgasm during sleep

8-A Discussion question: Do you think sexual fantasies can be helpful to a relationship in any way? How? Under what circumstances, if any, do you think sexual fantasy might indicate a problem in a relationship? Consider the subject of fantasy, amount of fantasy, when fantasy occurs, etc.

Fantasy • 95% of men & women fantasize • Functions • source of pleasure & arousal • overcome sexual anxiety • acceptable expression of “forbidden desires”

Fantasy (cont.) • Gender similarities & differences • Frequency, amount of variety is similar in men & women. • Some differences: • Active vs. passive role • Focus: more physical vs. more emotional • Group sex • Dominance/submission

Fantasy (cont.) • Are fantasies helpful or hindering? • Most research says helpful • Cautions: • Does degree of fantasy hinder intimacy w/partner? • Acting out fantasies--are both partners comfortable w/it? • Guilt • Most threatening is fantasy about a friend or acquaintance • Can be healing in cases of sexual abuse

MasturbationHISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE • Historically condemned • Rooted in Judeo-Christian views that saw only sex for procreation as moral • Erroneous health concerns: “The health soon becomes noticeably impaired; there will be general debility . . . . Next come sore eyes, blindness, stupidity, consumption, spinal affliction, emaciation, involuntary seminal emissions, loss of all energy or spirit, insanity, and idiocy--the hopeless ruin of both body and mind.” (Wood & Ruddock, 1918) • Freud recognized that masturbation wasn’t harmful, but said that it led to “immature sexual development” • Roman Catholic church considers masturbation to be an "intrinsically and seriously disordered act."

Masturbationsome general info • Contrary to earlier cultural views, all research on masturbation indicates that it is harmless. • Women are more likely to masturbate in and after their 20s than in adolescence. Why do you think this is the case? • Factors associated with greater likelihood and frequency of masturbation: • Living with a sexual partner • Engaging in more frequent sexual activity with a partner • Having more education • Having more liberal views about sex • Viewing sexual pleasure as a goal • Being Caucasian contrary to popular stereotype…

MasturbationPURPOSES • Relieve sexual tension • Means of self-exploration • Can improve quality of sexual experiences w/a partner • Shared experience • Assists in physical relaxation

Masturbation techniques • Men • Commonly grasp penile shaft, using up-and-down motions (w/ or w/o lotion/lube) • Some rub against a mattress or pillow • Women • Wide variety of stimulation techniques • Most typical is manual stimulation of clitoris • Glans of clitoris is rarely stimulated directly--rather, through clitoral hood or labia minora • Contrary to what is often portrayed in pornography, most women do not use vaginal insertion to reach orgasm during masturbation (Hite study, 1976, 1.5% of women used vaginal insertion) • Many women (and some men) enjoy vibrators during self-stimulation

Discussion question: What were you told about masturbation by your parents/other adults when you were a child? What would you want your own children to learn about masturbation? How would you talk to your child about masturbation at age 2? Age 5? Age 10?

Kissing • Lips and mouth have many nerve endings--therefore, very sensitive • Emotional expression behind kisses can range from tender/affectionate/familial (e.g. closed-mouth, on cheek) to overtly sexual (e.g. open-mouth, on erogenous zones) • Kissing is not culturally universal • No indication of kissing in highly erotic art of ancient Chinese and Japanese cultures • Some cultures consider kissing unhealthy and disgusting (e.g. Lepcha of Eurasia, the Chewa and Thonga of Africa, and the Siriono of S. America)

Touching • One of the first and most important senses that we experience as infants • Deprivation of touch in infants leads to stunted growth • Babies that received extra touching/massage showed improved neurological development, digestion, and sleep patterns • Erogenous zones are especially responsive to touch • Sexual touching of nonerogenous zones can enhance intimacy and arousal • Partners need to communicate about how and where they like to be touched b/c there is a great variety in personal preferences

Oral-genital stimulation • Can be done individually or simultaneously (“69”) • Cunnilingus: oral stimulation of the vulva • Fellatio: oral stimulation of the penis and scrotum • Couples differ in their comfort level for ejaculation into the mouth • Flavor of ejaculate varies from person to person and is influenced by dietary factors

Attitudes toward oral sex • Some people think the genitals are unsanitary b/c they are close to urinary opening and anus • Routine thorough washing of genitals w/soap and water is adequate for cleanliness • Some heterosexuals object to oral sex b/c they mistakenly believe it is a homosexual act • In general, frequency of oral sex is correlated w/ higher level of education & socioeconomic status. • Oral sex has become more common since 1950s • “old days:” oral sex rarely occurred before marriage, was considered more intimate than than intercourse • Today: teens are more likely to have oral sex than intercourse--strategy to avoid intercourse and “technically” preserve virginity; also some mistakenly believe that they cannot contract HIV through oral sex

Anal stimulation • Anus has dense nerve endings--stimulation can be pleasurable for both men and women • Anal intercourse: some statistics • Approx. 25% of all adults have experienced anal intercourse at least once (1994 study) • 32% of college students in a women’s health class had experienced anal intercourse (2003 study) • Among gay men, anal stimulation is less common than oral sex and mutual masturbation.

Anal stimulation • Health issues • No vaginal contact immediately following anal contact (manual or intercourse)--can lead to vaginal infection • Analingus (oral stimulation of anus) can cause intestinal infection, STD’s • Anal intercourse is one of the riskiest of all sexual behaviors in terms of transmission of HIV (particularly for receptive partner) (HIV, other infections) • Special considerations: • Anal tissue is very delicate: lubricants and gentle insertion needed • Objects must have larger base than tip so object cannot slip past anal opening

Coitus and Coital Positions • Position variations • man or woman above • face-to-face, side-lying, rear entry For many more varieties on positions, go to www.sexinfo101.com/sp_index.shtml

Coital Positions: things to consider • Ability of each partner to control tempo, angle, style of movement, and degree of penetration • Whether a position also allows manual stimulation (of clitoris, anus, etc.) during intercourse • Emotional feeling of positions • Some positions can allow partners to enjoy being more aggressive or more passive • Some positions allow greater intimacy between partners • Physical abilities, level of energy required • Some positions require more muscular strength, more stamina; other positions can be more relaxing

Tantric sex • Focus is on spiritual enlightenment and shared intimacy • Begun in India around 5000 BC • Sexual expression considered a form of spiritual meditation • Involves control & delay of orgasm with focus on harmony with partner • After penetration, thrusting is generally kept to a minimum, generating energy through subtle movements, such as muscle contractions • Synchronized breathing, visualization, deep level of intimacy

Chapter 16Less common Sexual Behaviors

What Constitutes “Less Common” Sexual Behavior? • Paraphilia: uncommon sexual expression • Sexual arousal or response depends on (often unusual) behavior not directly sexual in nature • Behaviors discussed in book represent extremes on a continuum • Paraphilias exist in many gradations from mild/infrequent behaviors to full-blown/frequent behaviors • Thought to occur more frequently in males • May be due to biases in reporting & prosecution • Are often clustered (engaging in one paraphilia increases likelihood of additional paraphilias) • Can become solitary & compulsive  interference with relationships

Noncoercive vs. coercive paraphilias • Noncoercive paraphilias: • No coercion (force), by definition • May be a solo activity or may involve participation of consentual adults • No one’s basic rights are violated; therefore, considered harmless • Coercive paraphilias: • Involve participants who have not given consent • Can cause harm to targets • Targets may be traumatized psychologically

Four common noncoercive paraphilias  Fetishism • Sexual arousal primarily from body part or inanimate objects. • For some people, sexual response can’t occur in absence of fetishized object; for others, object or body part enhances arousal but is not absolutely required. • Develops through classical conditioning • Fantasy and masturbation -- orgasm reinforces the association of pleasure w/the fetish. • Rarely harmful to others

Four common noncoercive paraphilias  Transvestic Fetishism • Has strong elements of fetishism but clothing is actually worn (not just viewed or touched) • Different from cross-dressing-- transvestic fetishism only applies when sexual arousal is derived from wearing clothes of other sex • Considered a disorder by the APA if person experiences significant psychological distress or impaired functioning as a result of behavior that has occurred for at least six months • Majority are male heterosexuals (often married)

Four common noncoercive paraphilias  &  Sexual Sadism & Sexual Masochism • sadism: sexual arousal from giving physical or psychological pain • masochism: sexual arousal from receiving pain • difficult to label because some behaviors are common • Being tied up, or “pinned down,” “love bites,” etc. • Level of pain needed for arousal varies from symbolic to mild pain to (rarely) severe pain • SM activities often include bondage and “discipline,” motivated by a desire to experience dominance and/or submission rather than pain.

Other (less common) noncoercive paraphilias • autoerotic asphyxia • Individual (almost always male) uses oxygen deprivation to enhance arousal • Life-threatening (hanging, plastic bag suffocation, etc.) • klismaphilia • Sexual pleasure from receiving enemas • coprophilia • Sexual pleasure from contact with feces • urophilia : • Sexual pleasure from contact with urine (“water sports” or “golden showers”)

Three common coercive paraphilias  Exhibitionism-exposing genitals to unwilling other - not same as enjoying being nude/wearing sexy clothes • Usually men, • Often shy or insecure, frequently raised in atmospheres w/shameful attitudes toward sexuality • Development • inadequacy & fear of rejection • need to affirm manhood • attention-seeking • loss of ethical controls • some offenders commit more serious crimes • suggested response • calmly ignore it, distance yourself, and report it ASAP

Three common coercive paraphilias  Obscene phone calls • sexual arousal from response to call (especially shocked or horrified response) • usually a shy, insecure male, suffering from strong feelings of inadequacy & insecurity • may be verbally abusive or threatening, though obscene callers rarely follow up w/physical attack. • suggested response • lack of overt reaction will deprive caller of pleasure and he’ll be unlikely to call again. • gently hang up, ignore re-call • screen calls; call tracing • report & ask for new number

Three common coercive paraphilias  Voyeurism • observing others undressing or engaging in sexual activity, without their consent • Not the same as looking at porn/erotica • To be considered a paraphilia, voyeurism must be preferred to sexual relations w/a partner or must involved some risk (or both). • offenders often feel inadequate & lack socio-sexual skills • video voyeurism • Video cameras installed to invade privacy of unaware victims

Other Coercive Paraphilias • Other coercive paraphilias involving sexual arousal or pleasure from . . . • frotteurism: rubbing against unwilling victim • Fairly common--may go unnoticed • zoophilia: sex with animals • Commonly only a tranistory experience for an adolescent to whom a partner is inaccessible or forbidden--most transition to adult sexual relations w/partners. • necrophilia: viewing or having intercourse w/ a corpse (very rare) • Appears to occur exclusively in males • Almost always manifest severe emotional disorders, hatred & fear of women common

Discussion question: What is the difference between sexual variation and sexual deviation? Who determines when the line has been crossed?

Discussion question: People are typically much less concerned about female exhibitionism than they are about male exhibitionism. For example, if a woman observed a man undressing in front of a window, the man might be accused of being an exhibitionist. However, if the roles were reversed and the woman was undressing, the man would likely be labeled a voyeur. What do you think of this sex-based inconsistency in labeling these behaviors?

Chapter 8 & 16 Sexual Behaviors